View Full Version : how do you guys deal with anger in the workplace
xWraithx
05-12-2009, 10:00 AM
just now my boss had asked me a question from across the room and I answered... everyone else seemed to have heard me fine but he apparantly did not because he said "mumbling? can we have that in English this time?"
I answered again... but I've been fuming on the inside since
I feel like just turning off my computer and leaving for the day
PosterChild
05-12-2009, 10:16 AM
That's unacceptable. Have a direct discussion with him about it,but cool down first. Maybe write it down if you're not comforatble with the face-to-face.
Sam I Am
05-12-2009, 10:17 AM
Same way this guys (http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showthread.php?t=153220) does it. ;)
Chief
05-12-2009, 10:26 AM
Tell him loud and clear you are busy on the Cowboys Zone message board and you don't have time for his crapola.
Seriously, if you have a temper, the best thing to do is go somewhere to cool off. If it takes you some time, leave for the day (tell them you're sick). Clear your head before you do/say something you'll regret.
If it still bothers you when you return, sit down with the boss and calmly explain why. Try to clear the air.
Viper
05-12-2009, 10:29 AM
just now my boss had asked me a question from across the room and I answered... everyone else seemed to have heard me fine but he apparantly did not because he said "mumbling? can we have that in English this time?"
I answered again... but I've been fuming on the inside since
I feel like just turning off my computer and leaving for the day
LoL...is that it?
Honestly, you really need to work on the thickness of your skin. I'm sure this will probably piss you off too, but don't let him see you cry when you walk out the door.
WoodysGirl
05-12-2009, 10:32 AM
I vent to a family member or friend...
I don't confide much in co-workers.
As for situations like that, I usually make a joke later about it next time it's my turn to speak. Speak louder or something. Overexaggerate my tone. Just play it off.
I tend not to confront my bosses, but I usually get my point across.
Hoofbite
05-12-2009, 10:33 AM
Sounds like you already hate you boss.
I'd find a way to annoy the hell out of him.
Start off small time. Flood his mailbox with travel brochures from all 50 states. They ship em free of charge.
I've seen these small noise makers that you hid in a room and every so often they let off a little beep. Bout the size of a quarter so if you put one in a small, out of the way place, it would drive him nuts in no time.
daschoo
05-12-2009, 10:39 AM
LoL...is that it?
Honestly, you really need to work on the thickness of your skin. I'm sure this will probably piss you off too, but don't let him see you cry when you walk out the door.
i was thinking the same
TheCount
05-12-2009, 10:41 AM
Just let it roll off your back man, it's not even worth it. He was trying to upstage you, it would have been better if you had a sarcastic comeback or something at the time but if you bring it up so much later it may just cause more friction.
At our job we just rant to each other about crap like that, not worth losing your job by going Office Rambo.
xWraithx
05-12-2009, 10:45 AM
I'm over it now
thanks for the replies
ConcordCowboy
05-12-2009, 10:50 AM
http://www.uberreview.com/wp-content/uploads/smg_title.jpg
Nice and Concealed for that next meeting.
Yeagermeister
05-12-2009, 10:53 AM
I would say it depends on how well you like your job and if you can get another one? :D
If you don't like it and can get another job quickly tell your boss how you feel.
If you can't get another job let it go.
TheCount
05-12-2009, 11:04 AM
http://www.uberreview.com/wp-content/uploads/smg_title.jpg
Nice and Concealed for that next meeting.
You couldn't kill a mouse with that thing.
PosterChild
05-12-2009, 11:04 AM
I'm over it now
thanks for the replies
Smashing! Now set your sights on HIS job. HAHA
BrAinPaiNt
05-12-2009, 11:07 AM
Next time smack him upside the head really hard and say...do you hear me now!!!!
:p: ;)
Sam I Am
05-12-2009, 11:12 AM
Next time smack him upside the head really hard and say...do you hear me now!!!!
:p: ;)
Better yet, reply with: " bag says what?".
Faerluna
05-12-2009, 11:13 AM
I don't confide much in co-workers.
Seconded. That caused a situation that was thisclose to costing me my job once.
BrAinPaiNt
05-12-2009, 11:18 AM
Seconded. That caused a situation that was thisclose to costing me my job once.
That's what you get for turning to your co-worker and saying...
OMG Becky, Look at her butt, it is Soo Big
<cue music>
ConcordCowboy
05-12-2009, 11:35 AM
You couldn't kill a mouse with that thing.
Works good on a Boss though.
:p:
Yeagermeister
05-12-2009, 11:36 AM
Works good on a Boss though.
:p:
So it works on rats but not mice? :D
ConcordCowboy
05-12-2009, 11:43 AM
So it works on rats but not mice? :D
Exactly!
:p:
Faerluna
05-12-2009, 11:47 AM
That's what you get for turning to your co-worker and saying...
OMG Becky, Look at her butt, it is Soo Big
<cue music>
It was actually the last day of work for this girl in my department I hated. I said to a friend "If I were there I'd take that "c u next Tuesday" out to the parking lot and beat her *** for a going away present."
Her last day and she was still trying to make me miserable, and I didn't even work in the office anymore, having been remote for a year.
So my friend that I told, Alex, repeats verbatim what I said to the girl, who goes to our boss to start some shineola about it. My boss messages me and says "Stop talking to Alex! Immediately!"
He later told me what happened, and that he told the girl to just relax and enjoy her last day. Thankfully, she let it go.
Could have been bad, though!
big dog cowboy
05-12-2009, 12:24 PM
I would say it depends on how well you like your job and if you can get another one? :D
If you don't like it and can get another job quickly tell your boss how you feel.
If you can't get another job let it go.
:signmast:
It was actually the last day of work for this girl in my department I hated. I said to a friend "If I were there I'd take that "c u next Tuesday" out to the parking lot and beat her *** for a going away present."
Her last day and she was still trying to make me miserable, and I didn't even work in the office anymore, having been remote for a year.
So my friend that I told, Alex, repeats verbatim what I said to the girl, who goes to our boss to start some shineola about it. My boss messages me and says "Stop talking to Alex! Immediately!"
He later told me what happened, and that he told the girl to just relax and enjoy her last day. Thankfully, she let it go.
Could have been bad, though!
Some friend...
cu next tuesday... priceless.:laugh2:
Danny White
05-12-2009, 12:49 PM
just now my boss had asked me a question from across the room and I answered... everyone else seemed to have heard me fine but he apparantly did not because he said "mumbling? can we have that in English this time?"
I answered again... but I've been fuming on the inside since
I feel like just turning off my computer and leaving for the day
A lot depends on what kind of person the boss is.
It could be that he fancies himself a "Michael Scott" kind of guy and thinks that he's hilarious and is creating a "fun, enjoyable" workplace environment with his jokes and wisecracks. If that's the case, then just brush it off as a bad joke.
Or it could be that the guy is a jerk and he's taking advantage of the fact that he's the boss to treat everyone around him like underlings who can't really fight back against him for fear of getting in trouble. If that's the case, it sucks to have to work for someone like that, but that makes it a situation where you REALLY have to ignore it because there's no way a person like that is going to take any lip back.
Either way, it's best to keep it to yourself, as you apparently have already decided to do.
Honestly, even if you decide to quit and find a new job, it's best to not blow up at the guy because you never know how something like that could come back to bite you someday. Either as a reference or just not knowing who else the guy might know.
Joe Realist
05-12-2009, 12:54 PM
You have to " pick your battles " If you are young and entry level, you don't want to hurt your future options there. You can always get up, go for a walk and clear your head.
If it is constant, and he is approachable, you can have a on on one at a later time.
My 2 cents.
Danny White
05-12-2009, 01:16 PM
Have you considered the possibility that maybe you mumble? :D
REDVOLUTION
05-12-2009, 02:09 PM
Buy some candy. Mix in ex lax. Offer it to him in a few days.
I have seen this executed brilliantly!!!!
(dam I cant take credit for doing it though... or I would)
Ok, so here is the story. This guy that I know used to work for a friend of my fathers. There was another guy that that used to bully the guy and take his candy from him.
So.
One day he mixed some ex law in with the candy and just like clockwork - here comes the bully. Gimme some candy mofo(and he takes a handful and scoffs it down).
At the end of the day, ironically enough all these workers walked home in the same direction.
This guys stomach starts rumbing, they are on a residential street. Cold sweats, hot sweats, you name it. He is looking frantically. He finally goes over and leans of the railing of a house and makes his deposit.
While EVERYONE watched and laughed there arse's off. He was never told. But he never did take candy again.
:laugh2:
Rampage
05-12-2009, 03:09 PM
jolrG8tXQDw
Dallas
05-12-2009, 03:17 PM
It was actually the last day of work for this girl in my department I hated. I said to a friend "If I were there I'd take that "c u next Tuesday" out to the parking lot and beat her *** for a going away present."
Her last day and she was still trying to make me miserable, and I didn't even work in the office anymore, having been remote for a year.
So my friend that I told, Alex, repeats verbatim what I said to the girl, who goes to our boss to start some shineola about it. My boss messages me and says "Stop talking to Alex! Immediately!"
He later told me what happened, and that he told the girl to just relax and enjoy her last day. Thankfully, she let it go.
Could have been bad, though!
Alex has a fat mouth. No offense but I hate friends who take things said in confidence and then run and blow them up. :D
Alex Fat Mouth!
Dallas
05-12-2009, 03:19 PM
Have you considered the possibility that maybe you mumble? :D
http://homepage.mac.com/yingloon/images/mumble2.jpg
Danny White
05-12-2009, 04:16 PM
http://homepage.mac.com/yingloon/images/mumble2.jpg
It must be hard to speak clearly when your mouth is full...
... of food, I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter!
Hostile
05-12-2009, 06:43 PM
just now my boss had asked me a question from across the room and I answered... everyone else seemed to have heard me fine but he apparantly did not because he said "mumbling? can we have that in English this time?"
I answered again... but I've been fuming on the inside since
I feel like just turning off my computer and leaving for the dayMaybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't hear you clearly enough? I have trouble hearing people clearly if there is background noise and a crowded office qualifies. I doubt I am the only person who has this trouble.
Yeagermeister
05-12-2009, 06:47 PM
Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't hear you clearly enough? I have trouble hearing people clearly if there is background noise and a crowded office qualifies. I doubt I am the only person who has this trouble.
Or you are just getting old :D
Hostile
05-12-2009, 07:18 PM
Or you are just getting old :DI don't deny that. Beats the alternative.
Hard for me to imagine getting upset because someone didn't hear you. Everyone else is supposed to be perfect and forgive you for your faults I guess. That kinda sucks.
Jon88
05-12-2009, 07:26 PM
That's not that bad. I've had much worse. Just don't do what this guy does.
7MVqdAn6wZE
I don't deny that. Beats the alternative.
Hard for me to imagine getting upset because someone didn't hear you. Everyone else is supposed to be perfect and forgive you for your faults I guess. That kinda sucks.
I think the unnecessary 'in English' is what set our friend off.
Just for kicks, I would have answered in Italian after that remark, with a choice insult he'd never get. :)
CowboyFan74
05-12-2009, 08:20 PM
just now my boss had asked me a question from across the room and I answered... everyone else seemed to have heard me fine but he apparantly did not because he said "mumbling? can we have that in English this time?"
I answered again... but I've been fuming on the inside since
I feel like just turning off my computer and leaving for the day
When the boss asks you a question from across the room you should walk over to him and answer the question, never try to shout back the response unless it's a blow off type job.
or the alternative is revenge.
http://www.getgags.com/images/items/big/stinkbombs.jpg
Slip one of these in the door crack or under the chair, etc...
Class dismissed!!!!:laugh2:
Hostile
05-12-2009, 08:24 PM
I think the unnecessary 'in English' is what set our friend off.
Just for kicks, I would have answered in Italian after that remark, with a choice insult he'd never get. :)I guess I just don't get it then. That wouldn't have upset me even one iota.
TheCount
05-12-2009, 08:43 PM
I guess I just don't get it then. That wouldn't have upset me even one iota.
It's not the issue of what was said, it's that his boss chose to grandstand in front of the entire office and it just struck a nerve.
It wouldn't have bothered me either, at my office we are very sarcastic to each other, but I can understand something like that just striking the wrong nerve.
Its like you're in a meeting and say, "Oh, I'd probably do it this way." and someone replies, "Oh, I bet you would." It's not really what was said, just the manner it was said.
I guess I just don't get it then. That wouldn't have upset me even one iota.
Me neither, but everyone's different.
Maybe some office hotties giggled and he felt embarrassed...
CowboyFan74
05-12-2009, 09:01 PM
Or maybe he has an accent.
DallasCowpoke
05-12-2009, 09:19 PM
how do you guys deal with anger in the workplace
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wgohE1v4Pgk/Rv1eXjaGqdI/AAAAAAAAABk/k91_i9v_2j0/s320/Johnnie_Walker_logo.jpg
http://weedneeds.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/glass-bong-3.jpg
http://www.vincelewis.net/myimages30/357-side.jpg:p:
Danny White
05-12-2009, 11:23 PM
Me neither, but everyone's different.
Maybe some office hotties giggled and he felt embarrassed...
He should have responded:
"Yeah, well the jerk-store called and they're all out of you!"
Hostile
05-12-2009, 11:50 PM
It's not the issue of what was said, it's that his boss chose to grandstand in front of the entire office and it just struck a nerve.
It wouldn't have bothered me either, at my office we are very sarcastic to each other, but I can understand something like that just striking the wrong nerve.
Its like you're in a meeting and say, "Oh, I'd probably do it this way." and someone replies, "Oh, I bet you would." It's not really what was said, just the manner it was said.I still don't get it. I don't see how that is grandstanding. Oh well.
silverbear
05-13-2009, 03:46 AM
LoL...is that it?
Honestly, you really need to work on the thickness of your skin. I'm sure this will probably piss you off too, but don't let him see you cry when you walk out the door.
I may be misremembering, and if I am I'll apologize in advance, but I do believe that wraith has started threads in the past about the problems he's had at assorted workplaces...
If I'm correct, then I can only observe that if one person is having problems at a number of different worksites, the problem is probably with his attitude...
In this particular case, what's the big deal?? I would have made some kind of small joke, like English is my second language, I originally come from Mumblania, then I would have repeated what I'd said so that the boss could hear it...
My problem is the exact opposite, my boss is VERY soft-spoken, so that I often can't hear him, and have to ask him to repeat himself...
Jon88
05-13-2009, 12:54 PM
Right after I read this thread I went to work. About 20 minutes later I did something the boss didn't like and he literally got 6 inches away from my face and was explaining what I did wrong and what he wants me to do from now on. Now 99% of the people who do that are being hostile, but he's just being ignorant and I hear he does it to everyone. He's in his 50's and still doesn't know about the 3 foot rule - if you get within someone's 3 feet of space they get uncomfortable. You just have to realize that some bosses can be stupid. Make quiet comments about them behind their back as they walk past if it makes you feel better and laugh it off.
Sam I Am
05-13-2009, 01:07 PM
A lot of you guys (and ladies) should read the Discrimination and Harassment section in your HR manuals.
You can complain if your boss is harassing you (ie repeatingly making you uncomfortable by his action or what he is saying) and your boss cannot do anything about it due to retaliation is a clause under Discrimination and Harassment liability too.
Even if the original complaint is rejected by the EEOC, the retaliation complaint can stand on it's own merit.
TheCount
05-13-2009, 03:20 PM
I still don't get it. I don't see how that is grandstanding. Oh well.
I think you get it just fine, you just don't agree. :D
CanadianCowboysFan
05-14-2009, 02:03 AM
Depends on the relationship you have with him. If you get along well, scratch your eye with your middle finger. If you don't, then complain to his boss that he is creating a poisoned work environment, go on stress leave and then claim long term disability from the post traumatic stress disorder that you suffer from as a result of his cruel comment on your speech impediment.
CanadianCowboysFan
05-14-2009, 02:04 AM
Right after I read this thread I went to work. About 20 minutes later I did something the boss didn't like and he literally got 6 inches away from my face and was explaining what I did wrong and what he wants me to do from now on. Now 99% of the people who do that are being hostile, but he's just being ignorant and I hear he does it to everyone. He's in his 50's and still doesn't know about the 3 foot rule - if you get within someone's 3 feet of space they get uncomfortable. You just have to realize that some bosses can be stupid. Make quiet comments about them behind their back as they walk past if it makes you feel better and laugh it off.
I get within three feet of my modelesque secretary all the time, she doesn't get uncomfortable, she starts to play with her hair.
CanadianCowboysFan
05-14-2009, 02:05 AM
I still don't get it. I don't see how that is grandstanding. Oh well.
maybe not grandstanding but definitely not an action to engender good master-servant relations.
xWraithx
05-14-2009, 09:28 AM
I may be misremembering, and if I am I'll apologize in advance, but I do believe that wraith has started threads in the past about the problems he's had at assorted workplaces...
If I'm correct, then I can only observe that if one person is having problems at a number of different worksites, the problem is probably with his attitude...
In this particular case, what's the big deal?? I would have made some kind of small joke, like English is my second language, I originally come from Mumblania, then I would have repeated what I'd said so that the boss could hear it...
My problem is the exact opposite, my boss is VERY soft-spoken, so that I often can't hear him, and have to ask him to repeat himself...
assorted workplaces? lol, I have a good/steady job
probably wasn't me
by the way, this is a very isolated incident and was forgotten shortly after
the people who "don't get it" and are incessant about making that clear are making a bigger deal out of this than I initially did
Doomsday
05-14-2009, 09:55 AM
He should have responded:
"Yeah, well the jerk-store called and they're all out of you!"
:laugh2: that was a good episode.
Doomsday
05-14-2009, 09:56 AM
Not to be a jerk, but you really shouldnt let little stuff like that get to you or it is going to be a long life.
xWraithx
05-14-2009, 09:59 AM
Not to be a jerk, but you really shouldnt let little stuff like that get to you or it is going to be a long life.
a rare isolated incident and I was already in a pissy mood
but thanks for the life lesson, you've changed my outlook on life and I am a better man because of it
lol...
EDIT: sorry, just seems like a small isolated incident at work that blew over as quick as it started has turned into a full blown intervention session with some people making assumptions on my life - past, present, and future....
AbeBeta
05-14-2009, 10:12 AM
by the way, this is a very isolated incident and was forgotten shortly after
the people who "don't get it" and are incessant about making that clear are making a bigger deal out of this than I initially did
Your posts seem to suggest different. Fuming is pretty strong reaction to an event that most people would not even register. Hell, you even sought out advice for dealing with anger in the workplace. You've gotta not make blaming others your first reaction .... everyone heard you fine so your boss is therefore being a jerk to you... people in the thread are the problem b/c they are making more out of it than you did. I'd hate to see your reaction to something that was actually bad.
xWraithx
05-14-2009, 10:31 AM
Your posts seem to suggest different. Fuming is pretty strong reaction to an event that most people would not even register. Hell, you even sought out advice for dealing with anger in the workplace. You've gotta not make blaming others your first reaction .... everyone heard you fine so your boss is therefore being a jerk to you... people in the thread are the problem b/c they are making more out of it than you did. I'd hate to see your reaction to something that was actually bad.
my reaction to this post: :puke:
j/k
Doomsday
05-17-2009, 04:08 AM
a rare isolated incident and I was already in a pissy mood
but thanks for the life lesson, you've changed my outlook on life and I am a better man because of it
lol...
EDIT: sorry, just seems like a small isolated incident at work that blew over as quick as it started has turned into a full blown intervention session with some people making assumptions on my life - past, present, and future....
No assumptions made, just offer a friendly piece of advice based on what you originally posted.
vBulletin® v3.6.4, Copyright ©2000-2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.