Arch Stanton
03-28-2005, 02:41 AM
By J. David Barron/Daily Times Sports Editor
Mar 27, 2005, 10:22 pm
I knew it!
When the Steelers were given the coveted title of “Team of the Decade” for the ’70s over the Cowboys, it was because of cheating.
Good Friday’s confession just confirms it.
I always thought it was because of backfield judge Fred Swearingen’s call for interference on Benny Barnes against Lynn Swann that handed Pittsburgh an automatic first down just when it seemed the Pokes were about to get the ball back with momentum in Super Bowl XIII clearly on the Boys’ side.
Randy “The Manster” White mashed Terry Bradshaw in the mouth as he was releasing a prayer to Swann 40 yards downfield in a desperate heave to convert a third-and-long situation. Barnes blanketed the prima donna Steeler receiver and had position for the underthrown duck. Just as the Cowboys’ corner was about to go up and make the interception, Swann ran into Barnes, causing America’s defender to come crashing to the ground and denying the best team of the decade an interception.
But all was going to work out, anyway — surely. Stevie Wonder could see Barnes had position, so the Cowboys were going to get the ball back and then Captain America was going to finish the comeback as No. 12 had so many times before, and Dallas was going to successfully defend its Super Bowl title.
But, wait! Swearingen reached for his hankie and tossed it! Interference on Barnes?! You gotta be kidding!
Sorry sack of manure. I’ve only just now forgiven Swearingen, and that’s just because I had to. It’s Easter, ya know.
The Steroids take the gift, and score the unavoidable, practically predestined touchdown that proves to be the difference in the 35-31 loss for Dallas, and, because of Swearingen’s gaffe, Pittsburgh is awarded the tiebreaking nod in determining which team was the very best in what became the Golden Decade of the National Football League.
While it has never been proven that Swearingen was one of the team’s juice brokers, those cheaters from the western Pennsylvania slum so full of soot that it requires no less than three rivers — Monongahela, Allegheny and Ohio — to discharge its refuse, have now found that, eventually, the truth is always disclosed. It’s inevitable. No matter how long it takes.
Current New Orleans head coach Jim Haslett told all in an Associated Press interview disseminated Friday. Haslett, who toiled as a linebacker in the equally ugly northeastern ’ville of Buffalo from 1979 to ’85, said steroid use in the NFL began with the Steelers’ dynasty of the ’70s.
“It started, really, in Pittsburgh,” Haslett said. “They got an advantage on a lot of football teams. They were so much stronger in the ’70s, late ’70s, early ’80s. They’re the ones who kind of started it.”
Steeler owner Dan Rooney discredited Haslett’s claim, of course.
“Maybe (steroids) affected his mind,” Rooney shot back.
Oh! That’s dirtier than Barry Bonds.
Rooney can talk smack all he wants, but he’s at a loss to also disqualify former offensive lineman Steve Courson, who was on that team that Swearingen helped swindle a ring. Courson admits to using steroids, further lending validity to Haslett’s claim, not that it needs any further substantiation in this kangaroo court. Courson blames a current heart condition on steroid use.
Then there’s crazed center Mike Webster, the one so nutty Bradshaw had to make the sign of the cross before walking up from the rear and placing his hands in a very personal position on the man’s behind. And remember what happened to Webster? The man lost it. Steroids were attributed to his demise.
So there you have it. Now we can all celebrate today with a knowing nod that New Mexico’s team was really the best back in the day, and that the title of “Best Team of the ’70s” is back where it belonged all along. Today’s Easter Egg hunts will surely be all the more sweeter and fun.
What a way to celebrate true redemption.
J. David Barron is sports editor of The Daily Times. Reach him at dbarron@daily-times.com or (505) 564-4654.
Mar 27, 2005, 10:22 pm
I knew it!
When the Steelers were given the coveted title of “Team of the Decade” for the ’70s over the Cowboys, it was because of cheating.
Good Friday’s confession just confirms it.
I always thought it was because of backfield judge Fred Swearingen’s call for interference on Benny Barnes against Lynn Swann that handed Pittsburgh an automatic first down just when it seemed the Pokes were about to get the ball back with momentum in Super Bowl XIII clearly on the Boys’ side.
Randy “The Manster” White mashed Terry Bradshaw in the mouth as he was releasing a prayer to Swann 40 yards downfield in a desperate heave to convert a third-and-long situation. Barnes blanketed the prima donna Steeler receiver and had position for the underthrown duck. Just as the Cowboys’ corner was about to go up and make the interception, Swann ran into Barnes, causing America’s defender to come crashing to the ground and denying the best team of the decade an interception.
But all was going to work out, anyway — surely. Stevie Wonder could see Barnes had position, so the Cowboys were going to get the ball back and then Captain America was going to finish the comeback as No. 12 had so many times before, and Dallas was going to successfully defend its Super Bowl title.
But, wait! Swearingen reached for his hankie and tossed it! Interference on Barnes?! You gotta be kidding!
Sorry sack of manure. I’ve only just now forgiven Swearingen, and that’s just because I had to. It’s Easter, ya know.
The Steroids take the gift, and score the unavoidable, practically predestined touchdown that proves to be the difference in the 35-31 loss for Dallas, and, because of Swearingen’s gaffe, Pittsburgh is awarded the tiebreaking nod in determining which team was the very best in what became the Golden Decade of the National Football League.
While it has never been proven that Swearingen was one of the team’s juice brokers, those cheaters from the western Pennsylvania slum so full of soot that it requires no less than three rivers — Monongahela, Allegheny and Ohio — to discharge its refuse, have now found that, eventually, the truth is always disclosed. It’s inevitable. No matter how long it takes.
Current New Orleans head coach Jim Haslett told all in an Associated Press interview disseminated Friday. Haslett, who toiled as a linebacker in the equally ugly northeastern ’ville of Buffalo from 1979 to ’85, said steroid use in the NFL began with the Steelers’ dynasty of the ’70s.
“It started, really, in Pittsburgh,” Haslett said. “They got an advantage on a lot of football teams. They were so much stronger in the ’70s, late ’70s, early ’80s. They’re the ones who kind of started it.”
Steeler owner Dan Rooney discredited Haslett’s claim, of course.
“Maybe (steroids) affected his mind,” Rooney shot back.
Oh! That’s dirtier than Barry Bonds.
Rooney can talk smack all he wants, but he’s at a loss to also disqualify former offensive lineman Steve Courson, who was on that team that Swearingen helped swindle a ring. Courson admits to using steroids, further lending validity to Haslett’s claim, not that it needs any further substantiation in this kangaroo court. Courson blames a current heart condition on steroid use.
Then there’s crazed center Mike Webster, the one so nutty Bradshaw had to make the sign of the cross before walking up from the rear and placing his hands in a very personal position on the man’s behind. And remember what happened to Webster? The man lost it. Steroids were attributed to his demise.
So there you have it. Now we can all celebrate today with a knowing nod that New Mexico’s team was really the best back in the day, and that the title of “Best Team of the ’70s” is back where it belonged all along. Today’s Easter Egg hunts will surely be all the more sweeter and fun.
What a way to celebrate true redemption.
J. David Barron is sports editor of The Daily Times. Reach him at dbarron@daily-times.com or (505) 564-4654.