A Reason The Divorce Rate Is So High

[Hostile]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?

[Faerluna]

To me, that's completely mental.

[Hostile]

To me, that's completely mental.Thankfully to both my daughters too.

[5Stars]

Please delete my Willy Nelson post!

Sorry...


(stupid cowboy fan)

[Cythim]

We spent more on the open bar than we did on my wife's dress :cool:

[Hostile]

We spent more on the open bar than we did on my wife's dress :cool:
That cracked me up.

[Cythim]

That cracked me up.

Thanks, we went for fun instead of boring. We had it at a local brewery/winery and had an ice cream cake from Cold Stone.

[5Stars]

4-tsVMHuHrs


:D

[Joe Realist]

People prepare for the wedding, but not for the marriage.

[casmith07]

My dad said it best about his own wedding/reception: "why would I want to pay for 100+ people's dinners?"

[Hoofbite]

I'm not sure this is an actual reason for a high divorce rate.

I'd say it certainly makes the marriage more unbearable in the case of divorce, that's for sure.

[RS12]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?

High maintainance. Dump her.

[davidyee]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?

...the ceremony is indicative of society focusing on the wrong part of the institution.

It's not about a singular event, but rather the journey of discovery.

The prize is the hand you are holding in yours and the challenge is to never have a reason to let go.

[Sam I Am]

Marriage. What is it good for?

A tax deduction. :D

Why spend $20k so you can save a few hundred? :facepalm:

[Alumni2k11]

My first marriage was at a court house, costed less than 100 dollars. I imagine my next one will cost a little more than that, but surely wouldn't spend 20,000 dollars.

[kimrose]

Someone mentioned "high maintenance". You better believe it! The goal would probably be to know the type of girl you are getting involved with before it gets to the point of Love and Engagement. If you have fallen in love with a high maintenance, materialistic chick who has to have everything "better", you can probably expect to have an elaborate wedding with lots of invited strangers you've never seen before. lol.

Most girls do dream of the Big Event, much like a fancy ball. They spend most of their young lives wondering what it would be like to be Cinderella. Most girls plan on only getting married once, to Mr. Right, and they want it to be a perfect night, filled with memories and happiness that will last a lifetime. A wedding is a girl's one chance to BE Cinderella. But some girls get lost in the wedding and go overboard in planning the festivities, and the dress. They let their eyes overload their senses and before they know it, they have a wedding planned that would rival Charles and Diana's. There is no need to drop 50 grande on a wedding. It doesn't say "I Love You" any more than standing in front of a JP does. Somewhere in the middle of Princess Diana and the JP is the perfect way to go. Sweet, memorable, meaningful, but most importantly, cost effective. ;)

Actually, the meaning of the marriage ceremony can get easily lost in a big, fancy, expensive event. Simply done, a small wedding means much more than all the hoopla of thousands of dollars being wasted. An overly done gala can actually set the scene for a nasty divorce down the road, when the guy finally realizes his wife is breaking his bank. Not for everyone, of course, a lot of people really can afford to spend like that. But if you are Joe Sixpack, earning a modest wage, you probably should steer clear of a girl who spends her whole paycheck on a pair of shoes.;)

But if she is a rich girl, that shouldn't be a problem. Traditionally, the bride's parents are supposed to foot the bill for the wedding, anyway. So, let Daddy's money do the talking.lol. If she wants a big, outlandish wedding, it is in part, keeping with "tradition" (the other part, of course would be having a bigger and better wedding than her best friend did). If she is that type of girl, she probably has not had to want for much in her life anyway, so...why not?? Kick back and enjoy the night, and your new pampered life.:)

Moral of the story, guys, make sure you can afford the girl before you fall in love with her.:)

[Meat-O-Rama]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?

I've had this thought before. These women seem to be in love with the thought of getting married and having a wedding. Not much thought on what forever really means...

[BraveHeartFan]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?

Only to delusional women who've been raised their whole life to believe that this one day is supposed to be so over the top that expense should be no object.

It's stupid beyond belief.

[VietCowboy]

I've seen a few wedding shows (i.e. 4 weddings) and the least expensive wedding on there was $5K that took place in central park (so venue didn't cost much). Compared to the other 3 who spend upwards 10x more, you can see $5K doesn't go far.

The most expensive stuff are: Venue (some places can charge anywhere from $2-10K), Food/alcohol, fresh flowers, photographer, and wedding dress. The little stuff add up too, like table centerpieces, party favors, invitations, tux rentals, transportation, judge/officiant, deejay/live band, etc etc.

[davidyee]

Moral of the story, guys, make sure you can afford the girl before you fall in love with her.:)

...has anything to do with the situation then I think marriage should be the last thing on their minds.

[Muhast]

They have a study out that shows the divorce rate in proportion to age and education. As you can imagine, the younger the couple, the lesser the education, the higher the divorce rate. Also any significant things like Children before marriage, also increased it. The divorce rate for people that wait until 26+ to get married is in the low 20's and teens compared to those that get married before that.


And for the record, my oldest cousin got married and the brides family said the wedding gift would either be $50,000 towards the wedding, or 50,000 towards a house. They picked the wedding.( No clue how you can spend 50,000 on a wedding, but they did) They are still married now, have two children and are approaching their 10th anniversary sometime soon. But still, what a waste of a wonderful wedding gift, put it in the bank, put it down on a house.

[VietCowboy]

They have a study out that shows the divorce rate in proportion to age and education. As you can imagine, the younger the couple, the lesser the education, the higher the divorce rate. Also any significant things like Children before marriage, also increased it. The divorce rate for people that wait until 26+ to get married is in the low 20's and teens compared to those that get married before that.


And for the record, my oldest cousin got married and the brides family said the wedding gift would either be $50,000 towards the wedding, or 50,000 towards a house. They picked the wedding.( No clue how you can spend 50,000 on a wedding, but they did) They are still married now, have two children and are approaching their 10th anniversary sometime soon. But still, what a waste of a wonderful wedding gift, put it in the bank, put it down on a house.

Yeah, hands down, I would have picked house.

Research has found that happy couples have a positivity in interactions about 20 to 1 (i.e. 20 positive interactions to 1 negative)

In conflicted couples it is 5 to 1

In soon to divorce couples is .8to 1. Watching a couple interact when they are not in conflict is the best way to predict their risk for divorce

over 90% of Couples that divorce do so in the first seven years (Mean around 5 years) or around 16-20 (M = 16.4)

early divorcers do so because presence of negative interaction during conflict (high conflict). Late divorcers do so b/c of general absence of positive affect (loss of intimacy / emotional connection).

About 69% of conflicts don't get solved, they get managed, ie either perpetual or gridlocked (such as differences in neatness, emotionality, together vs alone time, finances, etc)

[arglebargle]

At my brother's fairly elaborate wedding, my father and I were ushers. About halfway through the very long ceremony, my father leaned over to me and said, 'Elope. I'll just give you the money.'


Dang, VietCowboy, you seem to have pretty well pinned that one to the wall.

[Hoofbite]

Yeah, hands down, I would have picked house.

Research has found that happy couples have a positivity in interactions about 20 to 1 (i.e. 20 positive interactions to 1 negative)

In conflicted couples it is 5 to 1

In soon to divorce couples is .8to 1. Watching a couple interact when they are not in conflict is the best way to predict their risk for divorce

over 90% of Couples that divorce do so in the first seven years (Mean around 5 years) or around 16-20 (M = 16.4)

early divorcers do so because presence of negative interaction during conflict (high conflict). Late divorcers do so b/c of general absence of positive affect (loss of intimacy / emotional connection).

About 69% of conflicts don't get solved, they get managed, ie either perpetual or gridlocked (such as differences in neatness, emotionality, together vs alone time, finances, etc)

Which is why people should absolutely live together for a minimum of a year before getting married.

Practice-run, if you will. If you can co-exist in that capacity, you won't co-exist in a marriage.

[The30YardSlant]

Women are illogical. We can argue about why that is, but it's the basis behind every "why do women do..." question out there. If they didnt look so good and were required for the propagation of the species they wouldnt be cost efficient.

[The30YardSlant]

Which is why people should absolutely live together for a minimum of a year before getting married.

Practice-run, if you will. If you can co-exist in that capacity, you won't co-exist in a marriage.

The divorce rate is higher among people who live together prior to marriage. It is believed the primary reason for this is that there is very little if any difference between married and unmarried for these folks, the only real difference is a marriage license. They never mentally accept the emotional differences that come with being married and thus end up falling apart.

[Hoofbite]

The divorce rate is higher among people who live together prior to marriage. It is believed the primary reason for this is that there is very little if any difference between married and unmarried for these folks, the only real difference is a marriage license. They never mentally accept the emotional differences that come with being married and thus end up falling apart.

You can't simply boil it down though.

Are the living together as a means of seeing if they can co-exist?

Are they living together because they are young and financially strapped?

Are they living together because one has a ****ed up family whom they are desperate to get away from?

I don't doubt the statistic but I do think the number slightly skewed by the circumstances which the couples are living together prior to marriage.

[kimrose]

...has anything to do with the situation then I think marriage should be the last thing on their minds.
:laugh2:

[Hostile]

Which is why people should absolutely live together for a minimum of a year before getting married.

Practice-run, if you will. If you can co-exist in that capacity, you won't co-exist in a marriage.
I have a question, but the rules don't allow it.

[The30YardSlant]

I have a question, but the rules don't allow it.

Rules are made to be broken and I'm in the mood for a laugh :D

[VietCowboy]

The divorce rate is higher among people who live together prior to marriage. It is believed the primary reason for this is that there is very little if any difference between married and unmarried for these folks, the only real difference is a marriage license. They never mentally accept the emotional differences that come with being married and thus end up falling apart.

Actually, one of the likely reason is b/c those that live together don't see the taboo of divorce. You see this in countries such as Belgium, with divorce rates as high as 60%. People who wait until marriage to live together probably see divorce as much more taboo.

Mexico City lawmakers late last year introduced a bill that only made a marriage 2-years, and you either had to renew it at the end of that 2-year or it would get dissolved. In the proposal, you had to pretty much have a pre-nup agreement in, finance, any child custody issues, all hammered out before you got married. Interesting concept.

[Yakuza Rich]

Doesn't have to do with marriage, it has to do with the actual wedding itself. I think it's safe to say that the majority of brides believe:

More $$$$ spent = better wedding

It's really done to show off to their friends and female family members. Then when they get married, they have to 'out-do' that wedding.

And what's crazy is you can save yourself a lot of money on your taxes by getting married and filing a joint return. But instead, they would rather wait and throw away thousands of dollars in an attempt to out-do their friends wedding.

No thanks.






YR

[Duane]

The divorce rate is higher among people who live together prior to marriage. It is believed the primary reason for this is that there is very little if any difference between married and unmarried for these folks, the only real difference is a marriage license. They never mentally accept the emotional differences that come with being married and thus end up falling apart.
My partner and I are not married but have lived together two years. This is someone I can see living the rest of my life with but neither one of us is hung up on the ideal of marriage.

I think being older we realize that whether we have a piece of paper or not is irrelevant if you make a commitment to someone. Because if you're counting on the marriage papers to keep the relationship together when things get rough you're already doomed to separate down the road.

[Bigdog]

Hos, my wife and twin daughters watch that show all the time. I am ashamed to admit it but the show is called "Say yes to the Dress" and it is on TLC.

[Hostile]

It isn't just weddings that this is a stupid phenomenon either. Kid's parties are getting more elaborate and stupid all the time. This will prove to kids that you love them, spending money on their party. yet what do kids actually appreciate more, your time.

[Hoofbite]

I have a question, but the rules don't allow it.

Tease.

Phrase it a way that passes.

[ChldsPlay]

Women are illogical. We can argue about why that is, but it's the basis behind every "why do women do..." question out there. If they didnt look so good and were required for the propagation of the species they wouldnt be cost efficient.

Where is the "like" button on this forum?

[VietCowboy]

It isn't just weddings that this is a stupid phenomenon either. Kid's parties are getting more elaborate and stupid all the time. This will prove to kids that you love them, spending money on their party. yet what do kids actually appreciate more, your time.

There was a show on MTV called Sweet 16, and it followed the party planning of rich daughter's 16th birthday. I think one that I remember seeing, they spent like half a million on that party (had like someone famous come and sing her a song, had a helicopter, etc).

[CliffnMesquite]

Women?
:)

[arglebargle]

So weddings are an approved part of a more widespread phenominom of potlach, conspicuous consumption? I think the 'cinderella fantasy' aspect of it carries a lot of weight.

[REDVOLUTION]

So my wife and daughters are into some reality show about wedding dresses. Every day they watch episodes on the Wii in the living room and I hear them talking.

If people put as much emphasis on their marriage as they do these dresses the divorce rate would go down. The prices I hear my family talking about are mind boggling, and apparently there are people out there who believe their life will be better if they wear this dress one time and spend thousands on it.

I have a friend who has been engaged forever. I said to him, "Jesse, when are you and your lady going to tie the knot?" He said, "She wants to spend $20,000 on the wedding and reception. So once we have that much put aside we're going to do it."

You've got to be kidding me. The amount you spend makes the marriage better?




I thought this was going to be how Facebook was cited in 1 of 5 divorce cases as the reason why people get divorced.

:laugh1:

[hipfake08]

That's why the Kardashians make money.....

[Dodger]

We spent more on the open bar than we did on my wife's dress :cool:Ditto.

[Sam I Am]

We spent more on the open bar than we did on my wife's dress :cool:

We got married in the Cayman Islands so less people would show up. :laugh2:

[Faerluna]

It isn't just weddings that this is a stupid phenomenon either. Kid's parties are getting more elaborate and stupid all the time. This will prove to kids that you love them, spending money on their party. yet what do kids actually appreciate more, your time.


I think it's ridiculous when people spend crazy money on kids parties, especially when the kid is too young to even know what's going on.

Our daughter just turned 5 and we had her very first birthday party this year. Previous years I made a cake and we just had it be a minimal family thing.

[CanadianCowboysFan]

I'm not sure this is an actual reason for a high divorce rate.

I'd say it certainly makes the marriage more unbearable in the case of divorce, that's for sure.

It isn't and has no bearing on the divorce rate whatsoever.

[CanadianCowboysFan]

I think it's ridiculous when people spend crazy money on kids parties, especially when the kid is too young to even know what's going on.

Our daughter just turned 5 and we had her very first birthday party this year. Previous years I made a cake and we just had it be a minimal family thing.

my wife is psycho re my son's bday parties. This years we must have spent close to $1000 on it but he and his friends/teammates really loved the circus school bday party.

[DFWJC]

I've seen a few wedding shows (i.e. 4 weddings) and the least expensive wedding on there was $5K that took place in central park (so venue didn't cost much). Compared to the other 3 who spend upwards 10x more, you can see $5K doesn't go far.

c.
30-50K is not remotely unusual. 5-10K would be almost be bottom barrel nowdays.
It's truly nuts.

[CanadianCowboysFan]

30-50K is not remotely unusual. 5-10K would be almost be bottom barrel nowdays.
It's truly nuts.

my paralegal/LAA got married in Las Vegas and it probably cost her at least 8-10000 and she didn't go nuts.

Mine was about 15000 and that was 17 years ago.

They cost that is for sure.

[Dodger]

The cost depends on where you live, I think. In NM, 5-10K would definately not be bottom of the barrel.

Ours was about 8K. We had at least 100 guests. The food was an exceptional beef tenderloin (we still get comments about the food today, 8 years later), full open bar, DJ, tons of flowers, the works. And we reserved a couple of the best locations where we live for the ceremony and reception.

[5Stars]

Actually, marriage is the reason for high divorce rates...

;)

[VietCowboy]

I love this video!

RI-l0tK8Ok0

[CanadianCowboysFan]

I love this video!

RI-l0tK8Ok0

ok but what does that have to do with divorce?

[VietCowboy]

ok but what does that have to do with divorce?

couples need to learn from this success story. I saw a 50 year married couple (an NPR report) that featured the above couple too. At first, with the other couple, I thought she was in her 50's. They aged very well. that's one motivation for a happy successful marriage, aging well and being healthier.

[CanadianCowboysFan]

couples need to learn from this success story. I saw a 50 year married couple (an NPR report) that featured the above couple too. At first, with the other couple, I thought she was in her 50's. They aged very well. that's one motivation for a happy successful marriage, aging well and being healthier.

You thought that woman was in her 50s? You are kidding right?

[VietCowboy]

You thought that woman was in her 50s? You are kidding right?

ANOTHER COUPLE, not this one. reading comprehension is a must.

http://video.pbs.org/video/2022490415/