Top 10 things heard at Parcells' apartment

[Chief]

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

[28bringinthewood]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

Thanks! I needed that!

[jamez25]

lmao....that was greatness !

[lane]

chief........the man

[Hostile]

Post of the day.

[Rack Bauer]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

That's some good stuff right there.


How about "Kelly, you know you aren't gonna play if you don't make your weight, right?"

[underdark]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

You have some real talent here - seriously.

[LaTunaNostra]

Hee hee!

11. "Bill, I'm willing to try kinky...but throw a sweaty jersey in your face??"

12. "Bill, this "she" who runs a 4.2 - do I have anything to worry about?"

13. "Bill, you've been yelling 'Throw it, throw it, you SOB' in your sleep again".

14. "Bill, I'm tired of you telling me I remind you of one of your old Giants, Patriots, or Jets players. I think I got the message you want me to dance like Meggett, party like LT, and play as long as Vinny".

[Qwickdraw]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

Pure genius...
start to finish.

[MissionCoach]

"Well Bill, if you really WANT to shop for the groceries...be my guest"

"Bill, I know you said you like Linebackers, and that you collect them...I just didn't think you were serious about keeping Dat in the China cabinet."

"I know Bill Belichick wears a Pats sweatshirt on the sidelines, it's just not a good look for you

[BrAinPaiNt]

Greatness as usual Chief.....and I also got a pretty good laugh out of barbs #13 and #14.


Great stuff...thanks for a good morning laugh Lady and Gentleman.

[dbair1967]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

David

[royhitshard]

just what the doctor ordered!!!!!

[adbutcher]

[Gatorgirl]

Originally Posted by Chief

With the revelation that Parcells has a girlfriend, and with apologies to David Letterman and anyone with good taste, here are the top 10 things overheard at Parcells' apartment/house:

10. If you're going to stick around here, Kelly, you'll have to be versatile and fill several roles. You're into role playing, right?

9. I'm going to be the only fat person in this house, okay. Come on, get on the scales ... let's check your weight.

8. You dye your hair? Me too.

7. You wear a bra? Me too.

6. OK, Bill. Who is LaTunaNostra and why is her picture in your wallet?

5. Bill, do you really have to wear a whistle to bed? If you want me to change positions, just ask me.

4. Go get your own water, Bill. Do I look like DeMarcus Ware to you? I may be young, but I'm not a rookie.

3. Hey Bill, Zimmer's wife says you're making him do the 34. Is that kinda like the 69?

[View Full Quote]2. Geez, Kelly, don't surprise me like that. What are you ... part Jap?

1. And they call me Tuna?

I didn't think you had all that in ya, Chief! That was hilarious!!!!!!