Humor: Gerald Sensabaugh Phone Call Home

[SWG9]

Mr Sensabaugh: Hello?

Sensabaugh: Dad? It’s me, Gerald.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Gerald, I’m glad to hear from you. I’m so sorry about the loss the other day. I can’t believe the Cowboys yanked you from the starting lineup like that; that was cold. Did they even tell you that they were going to do that in advance?

Sensabaugh: (awkward silence) Umm…Dad, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I started and played the entire game.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (blurts out) WHAT!?! I didn’t even notice you out there! (silence) Son, I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way...

Sensabaugh: Dad, don’t worry about it. I can barely even remember playing and the game was only a couple of days ago. Even I had to go back and re watch the tape to make sure that I was actually on the field and that it wasn’t just a dream. You know I tend to zone out and take mental naps a lot of the time when I’m out there, sometimes it’s tough to figure what was real and what wasn’t.

Mr. Sensabaugh: I know son, your lapses in concentration are legendary. Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing you take a terrible angle on RG3’s TD.

Sensabaugh: I know, and I even did my patented “Throw my hands in the air and act like it was someone else’s fault” routine. I’ve been doing that since Alan Ball was here and it still works like a charm!!

Mr. Sensabaugh: (laughs) Have you given any thought to where you’re going to play next year?

Sensabaugh: Dad, that’s the thing: I don’t even think I’m in danger of losing my starting job or even my roster spot. It’s unbelievable down here; half the people are blaming injuries, the other half are blaming coaching. I don’t think anyone even noticed how bad I was. They don’t give a flip about safeties in Dallas, they keep signing UDFA’s and castoffs to compete with me. You’ve got to see these guys to believe how bad they are. I don’t have to be good, I don’t have to be average, I don’t even have to be below average. I just need to be better than whatever terrible street level free agent they sign to play opposite me.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Son, since we’re being so honest with each other, aren’t you at little worried that the coaches are going to catch on? I mean, how many years can this go on for?

Sensabaugh: It doesn’t matter if the coaches catch on Dad, Jerry Jones calls the shots down here. The other day he passed me in the hallway and called me Darren. He thinks I’m Darren Woodson. As long as I hide out for the most of the offseason and stay invisible during camp, I think I’m safe.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (smiling) How big was that extension you signed again?

Sensabaugh: (smiling) 22.5 million.

(simultaneous laughter)

[IAMKING]

This is a terrible post.

[Doomsay]

Originally Posted by IAMKING

This is a terrible post.

More importantly, a terrible player.

The contract extensions for Rat, Free, and the aforementioned hunchback would get any GM fired outside of Jerryland.

[batman36]

I like your post, as there is some truth in some of it. Please have a good day!

[brooksey1]

Originally Posted by SWG9

Mr Sensabaugh: Hello?

Sensabaugh: Dad? It’s me, Gerald.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Gerald, I’m glad to hear from you. I’m so sorry about the loss the other day. I can’t believe the Cowboys yanked you from the starting lineup like that; that was cold. Did they even tell you that they were going to do that in advance?

Sensabaugh: (awkward silence) Umm…Dad, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I started and played the entire game.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (blurts out) WHAT!?! I didn’t even notice you out there! (silence) Son, I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way...

[View Full Quote]Sensabaugh: Dad, don’t worry about it. I can barely even remember playing and the game was only a couple of days ago. Even I had to go back and re watch the tape to make sure that I was actually on the field and that it wasn’t just a dream. You know I tend to zone out and take mental naps a lot of the time when I’m out there, sometimes it’s tough to figure what was real and what wasn’t.

Mr. Sensabaugh: I know son, your lapses in concentration are legendary. Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing you take a terrible angle on RG3’s TD.

Sensabaugh: I know, and I even did my patented “Throw my hands in the air and act like it was someone else’s fault” routine. I’ve been doing that since Alan Ball was here and it still works like a charm!!

Mr. Sensabaugh: (laughs) Have you given any thought to where you’re going to play next year?

Sensabaugh: Dad, that’s the thing: I don’t even think I’m in danger of losing my starting job or even my roster spot. It’s unbelievable down here; half the people are blaming injuries, the other half are blaming coaching. I don’t think anyone even noticed how bad I was. They don’t give a flip about safeties in Dallas, they keep signing UDFA’s and castoffs to compete with me. You’ve got to see these guys to believe how bad they are. I don’t have to be good, I don’t have to be average, I don’t even have to be below average. I just need to be better than whatever terrible street level free agent they sign to play opposite me.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Son, since we’re being so honest with each other, aren’t you at little worried that the coaches are going to catch on? I mean, how many years can this go on for?

Sensabaugh: It doesn’t matter if the coaches catch on Dad, Jerry Jones calls the shots down here. The other day he passed me in the hallway and called me Darren. He thinks I’m Darren Woodson. As long as I hide out for the most of the offseason and stay invisible during camp, I think I’m safe.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (smiling) How big was that extension you signed again?

Sensabaugh: (smiling) 22.5 million.

(simultaneous laughter)

You got me laughing, thanks for that.

[Mansta54]

Originally Posted by IAMKING

This is a terrible post.

Also ridiculous!!!!

[visionary]

hilarious

i needed the laugh

thanx

[MagicMan]

......hilarious.....

I thought I was the only one who noticed his "throw your hands up" routine.....the guy must have pics of Jerry and Jason in a uncompromising position. funny stuff.

[Doomsay]

Originally Posted by SWG9

Mr Sensabaugh: Hello?

Sensabaugh: Dad? It’s me, Gerald.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Gerald, I’m glad to hear from you. I’m so sorry about the loss the other day. I can’t believe the Cowboys yanked you from the starting lineup like that; that was cold. Did they even tell you that they were going to do that in advance?

Sensabaugh: (awkward silence) Umm…Dad, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I started and played the entire game.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (blurts out) WHAT!?! I didn’t even notice you out there! (silence) Son, I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way...

[View Full Quote]Sensabaugh: Dad, don’t worry about it. I can barely even remember playing and the game was only a couple of days ago. Even I had to go back and re watch the tape to make sure that I was actually on the field and that it wasn’t just a dream. You know I tend to zone out and take mental naps a lot of the time when I’m out there, sometimes it’s tough to figure what was real and what wasn’t.

Mr. Sensabaugh: I know son, your lapses in concentration are legendary. Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing you take a terrible angle on RG3’s TD.

Sensabaugh: I know, and I even did my patented “Throw my hands in the air and act like it was someone else’s fault” routine. I’ve been doing that since Alan Ball was here and it still works like a charm!!

Mr. Sensabaugh: (laughs) Have you given any thought to where you’re going to play next year?

Sensabaugh: Dad, that’s the thing: I don’t even think I’m in danger of losing my starting job or even my roster spot. It’s unbelievable down here; half the people are blaming injuries, the other half are blaming coaching. I don’t think anyone even noticed how bad I was. They don’t give a flip about safeties in Dallas, they keep signing UDFA’s and castoffs to compete with me. You’ve got to see these guys to believe how bad they are. I don’t have to be good, I don’t have to be average, I don’t even have to be below average. I just need to be better than whatever terrible street level free agent they sign to play opposite me.

Mr. Sensabaugh: Son, since we’re being so honest with each other, aren’t you at little worried that the coaches are going to catch on? I mean, how many years can this go on for?

Sensabaugh: It doesn’t matter if the coaches catch on Dad, Jerry Jones calls the shots down here. The other day he passed me in the hallway and called me Darren. He thinks I’m Darren Woodson. As long as I hide out for the most of the offseason and stay invisible during camp, I think I’m safe.

Mr. Sensabaugh: (smiling) How big was that extension you signed again?

Sensabaugh: (smiling) 22.5 million.

(simultaneous laughter)

Sorry, forgot to give you props. Comedy imitating life.

[riverside4]

awesome post you made me laugh Thanks

[bigdnlaca]

I hope someone in here doesn't know father Sensabaugh.

[Deep_Freeze]

Originally Posted by Doomsay

More importantly, a terrible player.

The contract extensions for Rat, Free, and the aforementioned hunchback would get any GM fired outside of Jerryland.

Yeah this is painfully funny.

The worse potential starter next year on our D gets a pass around here by some.

Its pathetically sad really, well played SW.

[Zordon]

sensabaugh is the worst. antithesis of darren woodson who was a very active player. i can hardly stand even looking at sensabaugh anymore. i'm popping champagne the day he is released.

[SWG9]

Thanks guys, wasn't sure how well it would go over but it was cathartic for me.

I guess we all deal in different ways.

[Irving Cowboy]

Had me laughing.

I think his turning around looking for someone to blame before they even crossed the goal line was classic Roy Williams-ish.