Squirrel Erradication - Dallas Cowboys Forum

Hopeuhavechange · 01-09-2013

My nemesis are these little long-tailed furry rodents with the overbite. Yeah, they're cute and all, but very destructive to my humble abode. I've resolved they must be terminated. FYI not fond of poisoning option; have seen the suffering it engenders.

They have eaten an entrance hole on the second level and an egress area on the opposite side of the house, same level. I patched it up; they chewed clean through my work short order. Last several weeks I hired some contractors to install discrete concrete wall-barriers on their front and back doors. They simply chose a nearby site. Nocturnally I hear them squeaking or chattering-- likely about my futlity in ridding them, I suspect. They mock me!

Time to break out my arsenal? Hire exterminators?

Your expert (Pro) opinions or those homeowners who have successfully defeated these little devils greatly appreciated.

Tanks.

joseephuss · 01-09-2013

Send in Chinese Needle Snakes to eat the squirrels.

Then send in snake-eating gorillas to take out the snakes.

Then when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

JBond · 01-09-2013

I have used Have a Heart traps effectively.

Be sure to relocate them at least ten miles away. I used to release them in a state park.

Hopeuhavechange · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by joseephuss

Send in Chinese Needle Snakes to eat the squirrels.

Then send in snake-eating gorillas to take out the snakes.

Then when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

That's an intriguing approach, and it's just crazy enough to succeed.

But for a few hurdles: 1) I don't live in China 2)Gorillas are not native to my neck of the woods and 2) moreover this would require a wicked gaping hole for them to squeeze into to work their magic.

Then there's the issue of a long lingering rotting menagerie above my bedroom with which to contend. I suppose strategically placed scented candles in the crawl space might mitigate the stinch but such would likely lead to an inferno consuming the homestead..

But that would solve this issue once and for all, wouldn't it. Oh, I suppose you're right after all.

Dallas · 01-09-2013

If it were me I would hire 2-3 Cocker Spaniels w/ night optics and send them in like a seal team 6 style of approach for your wayward guests.

Most likely there is a leader in that family of squirrels. A very rich and powerful squirrel who has lived off of your misery these past couple of months you can be sure.

Maybe get some stealth hanggliders pre-wired to explode upon landing your death squad of pooches. You don't know how many of your enemy you may take out with that giant ball of flame. Make it look like an accident and then leave everything behind.......SO THEY KNOW YOU WERE THERE and can tell all of the other squirrels that you live and that YOU ARE REAL and should be FEARED. You want it to say "MOVE OUT OR DIE."

You laugh, but Cocker-Spaniels are patient creatures. The sit ALOT and watch you and sleep, but they are always vigilant and prepared for any obscurities to raise their head. Don't be fooled by the jolly faces and doe eyes these animals posess. It is is all part of the suit. Good luck to you and soldier on. You can win this......btw: I know a guy who knows a guy who has a cousin in a NM prison who has a lead on a couple of these assassins if you ever get serious. CALL ME..........

Phoenix · 01-09-2013

Request Anonymous to reprogram a few of the military drones. Make sure they are equipped with Hellfire missiles.

JIMMYBUFFETT · 01-09-2013

A Gamo 1200fps pellet gun with a Aimpoint red dot scope has worked wonders for me.

Duane · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hopeuhavechange

My nemesis are these little long-tailed furry rodents with the overbite. Yeah, they're cute and all, but very destructive to my humble abode. I've resolved they must be terminated. FYI not fond of poisoning option; have seen the suffering it engenders.

They have eaten an entrance hole on the second level and an egress area on the opposite side of the house, same level. I patched it up; they chewed clean through my work short order. Last several weeks I hired some contractors to install discrete concrete wall-barriers on their front and back doors. They simply chose a nearby site. Nocturnally I hear them squeaking or chattering-- likely about my futlity in ridding them, I suspect. They mock me!

Time to break out my arsenal? Hire exterminators?

Your expert (Pro) opinions or those homeowners who have successfully defeated these little devils greatly appreciated.

Tanks.

I've had them in the house before and they can be a pain.

I ended up calling in pest control and they did a few things.

1. They put in non-kill traps in the attic and outside to catch them.
2. They then put in some sort of chemical repellant in the attack to get them not to go there.
3. Pest Control closed up the holes they chewed into the home.
4. One last round of non-lethal traps in the attic and outside.

Knock on wood but I haven't had any major squirrel issues in two years since they came in and fixed the problem.

ShiningStar · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas

If it were me I would hire 2-3 Cocker Spaniels w/ night optics and send them in like a seal team 6 style of approach for your wayward guests.

Most likely there is a leader in that family of squirrels. A very rich and powerful squirrel who has lived off of your misery these past couple of months you can be sure.

Maybe get some stealth hanggliders pre-wired to explode upon landing your death squad of pooches. You don't know how many of your enemy you may take out with that giant ball of flame. Make it look like an accident and then leave everything behind.......SO THEY KNOW YOU WERE THERE and can tell all of the other squirrels that you live and that YOU ARE REAL and should be FEARED. You want it to say "MOVE OUT OR DIE."

[View Full Quote]

burmafrd · 01-09-2013

Nuke Em Till They Glow

NorthTexan95 · 01-09-2013

Nuke it from orbit ... only way to be sure.

we've got a Beagle/Russell Terrier mixed dog and she has wiped out the family of rabbits living under our shed. She'd take out those squirrels ... if she could catch them.

hipfake08 · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBond

I have used Have a Heart traps effectively.

Be sure to relocate them at least ten miles away. I used to release them in a state park.

Yes to step A.
No to Step B.

86 them. Many of them.

Use the green wood to close the hole.

Hopeuhavechange · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas

If it were me I would hire 2-3 Cocker Spaniels w/ night optics and send them in like a seal team 6 style of approach for your wayward guests.

Most likely there is a leader in that family of squirrels. A very rich and powerful squirrel who has lived off of your misery these past couple of months you can be sure.

Maybe get some stealth hanggliders pre-wired to explode upon landing your death squad of pooches. You don't know how many of your enemy you may take out with that giant ball of flame. Make it look like an accident and then leave everything behind.......SO THEY KNOW YOU WERE THERE and can tell all of the other squirrels that you live and that YOU ARE REAL and should be FEARED. You want it to say "MOVE OUT OR DIE."

[View Full Quote]

Funny stuff. I should post this outside and make them die laughing.

Hopeuhavechange · 01-09-2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duane

I've had them in the house before and they can be a pain.

I ended up calling in pest control and they did a few things.

1. They put in non-kill traps in the attic and outside to catch them.
2. They then put in some sort of chemical repellant in the attack to get them not to go there.
3. Pest Control closed up the holes they chewed into the home.
4. One last round of non-lethal traps in the attic and outside.

Knock on wood but I haven't had any major squirrel issues in two years since they came in and fixed the problem.

Now leaning this direction if a couple of new suggested tactics don't work first after the rain finally ends. Peppermint oil spray, then strobe lights at last. (I suspect I'll find them taking drugs and dancing up there but, still, will give it a go)

Then I'll leave it to the professional assassins. Hey, they asked for it.

JBond · 01-09-2013

But be careful. They fight back.