Funerals can be funny...

[Signals]

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the Doctor in the Beautiful heart
forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, 'I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral...I'm a gynecologist.'

That's when the proctologist fainted.

[WoodysGirl]

oh my...

[the kid 05]

haha thast a good one star

[jwhardin]

Proctoligist was walking down the hospital hallway when a nurse said, "Dr why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear". The Dr replied, "Oh no, some butthole has got my pencil".

[Hostile]

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

[Signals]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

As usual Hos, thats a great read.

[/snicker]

[the kid 05]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

thanks hos

"not me God, the lady in the box."

[BrAinPaiNt]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

How did I ever miss that?

Man the stories I could tell, and probably already have.

[Yeagermeister]

Originally Posted by BrAinPaiNt

How did I ever miss that?

Man the stories I could tell, and probably already have.

No more sheep stories please

[5Stars]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

(stupid cowboy fans)...

[DallasFanSince86]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Not part of the joke, but relevant I hope.


http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpo...41&postcount=1

Now that was funny. Thanks for the great laugh Hos.

[silverbear]

Originally Posted by Yeagermeister

No more sheep stories please

You're not trying to insinuate that Hos loves ewe??

[Hostile]

Originally Posted by DallasFanSince86

Now that was funny. Thanks for the great laugh Hos.

Side story about this story. I hope it will be almost as funny. About 10 years ago my wife and I went to a party. There were 6 couples at this party and the hostess describes a game we are going to play called Liar, Liar. You had to answer 2 questions with 1 line. One of them was "what was your most embarrassing moment?" Naturally I answered, "when I was a pallbearer and fell into the grave."

The rules of this game were simple. The person who it was about had their name on the card that was drawn out of a hat. That person it actually happened to and 2 other people were picked to be the "liars" except one of you is actually telling the truth. So the rest of the people could ask you questions about the circumstances.

One of the answers was, "the time I got thrown in jail." I got picked to go be a liar and before anyone tells one detail everyone in the room is already guessing that it was me. I was a little disturbed that everyone immediately assumed I was guilty.

Even though it wasn't my story I told another funny story about when I actually did get arrested for grand theft auto. I'll quickly explain. I didn't actually steal a car. A buddy of mine was at a girl's house and we saw his VW van parked out front. So a bunch of us (my idea) decided to put it in neutral and push it around to the side of the house hoping he'd think it was stolen. Well, some of her neighbors saw us breaking in and called the cops. About the time my butt hit the seat of his van the cops came from every direction.

Well, the other guys all took off running so I did too. I was way behind at first but I was a heck of a lot faster than those guys and I caught them about the time they ran into an alley. I was thinking it was dumb to run into the alley (but smart to run right) but I followed them anyway. I came out of the alley with my hands up when 2 squad cars blocked the path, and I was arrested. After telling the Police what we were actually up to they lined us up in the girl's front yard in handcuffs and my buddy identified us and declined to press charges. Not before letting us twist in the wind a little bit. There is a lot more to this story, but it would take too long.

So I tell that story and when it's time to vote the entire group of people picked me as the actual person whose most embarrassing moment was getting arrested. Even my wife. I fooled my own wife. So when my buddy Art (an absolutely crazy guy) admits the story was actually his one of the other wives says, "Mike, your story had to be real." I admitted it was. So, she goes on, "you have a more embarrassing moment than that?" My time was still to come.

So my story finally got picked. I'm sitting in the middle chair and the hostess reads my answer about falling into the grave. The other 2 liars both started cracking up laughing and without a single word of lies being told the whole room knows this is my story. One of the other 2 guys, Rob, could not get his composure. So without ever playing the game I had to tell the whole story. Rob interjects that he would have crapped his pants. The guy on the other side of me who also started laughing and ruined his chances of lying said, "no that was my most embarrassing moment." That was the answer he had given to the question and had to tell about having diarrhea at work and not making it to the bathroom before he had an accident.

The whole dang house is laughing so hard we had to end the game. No one could regain their composure. To this day, Rob will sometimes simply look at me, remember that story, and start laughing.

[Yeagermeister]

Originally Posted by silverbear

You're not trying to insinuate that Hos loves ewe??

No that's BP

[DallasFanSince86]

Originally Posted by Hostile

Side story about this story. I hope it will be almost as funny. About 10 years ago my wife and I went to a party. There were 6 couples at this party and the hostess describes a game we are going to play called Liar, Liar. You had to answer 2 questions with 1 line. One of them was "what was your most embarrassing moment?" Naturally I answered, "when I was a pallbearer and fell into the grave."

The rules of this game were simple. The person who it was about had their name on the card that was drawn out of a hat. That person it actually happened to and 2 other people were picked to be the "liars" except one of you is actually telling the truth. So the rest of the people could ask you questions about the circumstances.

[View Full Quote]One of the answers was, "the time I got thrown in jail." I got picked to go be a liar and before anyone tells one detail everyone in the room is already guessing that it was me. I was a little disturbed that everyone immediately assumed I was guilty.

Even though it wasn't my story I told another funny story about when I actually did get arrested for grand theft auto. I'll quickly explain. I didn't actually steal a car. A buddy of mine was at a girl's house and we saw his VW van parked out front. So a bunch of us (my idea) decided to put it in neutral and push it around to the side of the house hoping he'd think it was stolen. Well, some of her neighbors saw us breaking in and called the cops. About the time my butt hit the seat of his van the cops came from every direction.

Well, the other guys all took off running so I did too. I was way behind at first but I was a heck of a lot faster than those guys and I caught them about the time they ran into an alley. I was thinking it was dumb to run into the alley (but smart to run right) but I followed them anyway. I came out of the alley with my hands up when 2 squad cars blocked the path, and I was arrested. After telling the Police what we were actually up to they lined us up in the girl's front yard in handcuffs and my buddy identified us and declined to press charges. Not before letting us twist in the wind a little bit. There is a lot more to this story, but it would take too long.

So I tell that story and when it's time to vote the entire group of people picked me as the actual person whose most embarrassing moment was getting arrested. Even my wife. I fooled my own wife. So when my buddy Art (an absolutely crazy guy) admits the story was actually his one of the other wives says, "Mike, your story had to be real." I admitted it was. So, she goes on, "you have a more embarrassing moment than that?" My time was still to come.

So my story finally got picked. I'm sitting in the middle chair and the hostess reads my answer about falling into the grave. The other 2 liars both started cracking up laughing and without a single word of lies being told the whole room knows this is my story. One of the other 2 guys, Rob, could not get his composure. So without ever playing the game I had to tell the whole story. Rob interjects that he would have crapped his pants. The guy on the other side of me who also started laughing and ruined his chances of lying said, "no that was my most embarrassing moment." That was the answer he had given to the question and had to tell about having diarrhea at work and not making it to the bathroom before he had an accident.

The whole dang house is laughing so hard we had to end the game. No one could regain their composure. To this day, Rob will sometimes simply look at me, remember that story, and start laughing.

That was a good story also.