Musings of a Clown - Dallas Cowboys Forum

lshaver22 · 12-14-2004

Random Thoughts after a Few Beers (please excused the botched names, if there are any):
-Is 170-plus replies on a subject a record for this board?
-Speaking as someone who works in the media (or tries to work in the media, but really surfs the net and flirts with the hot receptionist for Cali-for-nia and hot Asian girls in Marketing and Admin), I think whoever wrote "the letter" needs a publicist or, at least, a good PR firm. I mean: Sirius? C'mon. Even if Kirwan is well respected (or whatever), it has like 75k listeners (that will change next Jan. when Stern comes over, but that's still a year off). Leak it to Clayton, Jay Glazer, Bob Woodward or, at worse, that sanctimonious, arrogant toad Norm Hitzges (have you ever heard anyone who talks down to his listeners more than this guy? I sometimes listen to Don and Mike here in DC, but this guy still takes the cake. Seriously Norm, please bless me with your knowledge and tell me about the five plays that I as the "average" fan missed. Can I bow to you and wash your feet as you tell me? Please, Please Please!).
-Why is Bob The Bachelor on VH1's I Love 94? The last donkey to gain that much notoriety for simply breathing had to be Jared from Subway... or Kato Kaelin.
-Back to the letter. Did Kirwan mention any details about the grammar? Were there any misspelled words? Was there subject verb-agreement? How was the capitalization? If any of these grammar problems crept up, I think we all know who the culprit was: A newly engaged, hard-hitting safety with an Oklahoma education, maybe?
-Does anyone really get George Lopez humor? I mean, I'd really like to because, in my narrow-minded white guy way, I think it would help me with a certain demographic of young ladies (hint: it rhymes with hot tina), but I just don't understand. I am assuming some of you guys are Texans and live near the border. Tell me: What else works with the Spanish ladies, guys? Maybe I should just wear a Cowboy hat and say that I'm "huntin Mexican girls?" I'm struggling here folks.
-Don't shed too many tears for me though. I was at this Christmas party with a number of Asian ladies tonight. I went over well. Maybe like Woody Allen at... well, a place you may find a lot of Asian girls.
-Michael Ian Black may be the funniest man alive, followed closely by Chan Gailey.
-Back to what this board was originally intended for: Football! There's a lot of talk about the Antonio Bryant trade. While it's unfortunate that Quincy Morgan had trouble getting "separation," I have read a number of these so-called scouting services (The War Room, Randy Mueller, Scouts, Inc.) and they seem to agree on one thing: Bryant is, at best, a number two receiver. If these guys are right: Is Bryant's upside as a number two receiver worth his risk as a locker room cancer?
-Does anyone else miss Ace of Base? The year was 94. I was an impressionable college freshman experimenting with alcohol. My first alcohol induced vomiting came as "Don't Turn Around" was blaring in the background. It was special… sort of like Kate Hudson getting her stomach pumped as Stevie Wonder's “My Cherie Amour" played in Almost Famous. Except my mom isn't Goldie Hawn. And I'm not rich. Or Blonde. Or Hot (though my mom says I’m cute).
-How many Cowboys starters would start for the Eagles? Or Pats? Or Steelers? My guess is probably five to eight guys. Given, I'm too lazy to actually look at the depth charts before making that statement. Just a hunch.
-That hot Eva Longoria is on the cover of the new Maxim. It's a must read fellas. In my opinion, she's the hottest woman on TV today. Is there any disagreement on this?
-In a way, Parcells' biggest mistake was getting this team to overachieve last year. It seems like he and Jones were fooled into thinking they had a good team. I mean, the team was 5-11 for three straight years, 10-6 last year and will probably be 5-11 or 6-10 this year. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's duck (or it’s Gilbert Gottfried in those damm AFLAC commercials). Blow the thing up. Parcells is a HOF coach. Let him blow it up like should have two years ago.
-I just turned 30. Is it really “all down hill” from here?
-The Daily Show is on (did anyone see Jon Stewart on Crossfire? Funny stiff). Later.