Vindictive Bully-Type Boss - Dallas Cowboys Forum

BlueStar3398 · 12-02-2011

I have been at my job for a long time. I have this new manager that is clearly one of those "difficult people" you hear about. She changes the way she wants things done without fully explaining some of the steps in the procedure. Then, when you ask for clarification, she acts as if it is something that you should have known. Today, she e-mailed me saying that I was doing something incorrectly. I e-mailed her back, with documented proof that I was doing something the correct way. She would never back down on her stance or admit that what I showed her was correct. She did this not once but TWICE today! Then, later she e-mailed me again and chose another aspect of my daily work that she says was done incorrectly and it is something that she seems to have pulled out of thin air! It has to do with something that was taught to us by another manager to do a certain way and she has now changed it without telling anyone and says it is done wrong. My other manager was very thorough in explaining and never pulled this kind of thing on employees. AND I have a feeling she did this because I proved her wrong on something earlier in the day! Wow....

Have you ever had a difficult boss? How did you handle them? I think there is a book on how to deal with difficult bosses. Maybe I need to read it.

BlueStar3398 · 12-02-2011

Found this about different types of difficult bosses. This is her!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/JobClub/bu...1988357&page=2

Quote:

The Schemer: The schemer attempts to undermine your status by repeatedly withholding key information from you, excluding you from e-mail distributions, and intentionally leaving you out of meetings when you ought to be in the loop. The schemer nitpicks and micromanages, somehow always finding fault with your work, and fails to give you credit for the good work you do. A demanding boss can push you to deliver the best and can set the bar high with big expectations for excellence, but the schemer is never satisfied because of barriers that he or she puts in your way.

yimyammer · 12-02-2011

Sounds like my girlfriends boss, if you figure out how to deal with her, post a report so I can send my girlfriend over to read this thread

CliffnMesquite · 12-02-2011

Accidents happen every day...

VietCowboy · 12-02-2011

Talk to her using "I" statements, so she feels less threatened and won't escalate the issue (i.e. "You're being ridiculous" and "That doesn't make any sense, you are contradicting yourself" aren't helpful)

"I thought I was doing XYZ correctly based on [proof]. If you have updated [proof] then can you please send me a revised copy when you get the chance? It would help to prevent making this mistake again"

"I'm having some difficulty with these instructions. I don't want to make any assumptions regarding XYZ. Could you expand on the reasoning for taking Step A?"

ologan · 12-02-2011

What condition is your company in? Is there a possibility of downsizing in the future? You may be being set up. Start documenting everything!

BlueStar3398 · 12-02-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by VietCowboy

Talk to her using "I" statements, so she feels less threatened and won't escalate the issue (i.e. "You're being ridiculous" and "That doesn't make any sense, you are contradicting yourself" aren't helpful)

"I thought I was doing XYZ correctly based on [proof]. If you have updated [proof] then can you please send me a revised copy when you get the chance? It would help to prevent making this mistake again"

"I'm having some difficulty with these instructions. I don't want to make any assumptions regarding XYZ. Could you expand on the reasoning for taking Step A?"

I like those ideas. I sent an e-mail to her this morning using "I" statements and asked for clarification on some issues. I took notes on how she wanted some tasks done, because now she is completely contradicting what she said earlier.

I'm beginning to think that she is stressed and doesn't know what she's doing in some areas. That stress is spilling over to the employees that work under her.

Quote:

What condition is your company in? Is there a possibility of downsizing in the future? You may be being set up. Start documenting everything!

As far as I know, doing well. I just got a very good raise and I have received bonuses in the past for excellent work.

Yakuza Rich · 12-02-2011

I've been thru this...twice. My personal way of dealing with is that I vowed to never have it happen to me again. And if it does, I will be looking for a new job immediately. IMO, it really isn't worth the aggravation.

But, in the meantime...document EVERYTHING. Do as much of your communication as possible thru e-mail so you can have correspondance documented.

VERY important.

You're going to run into a few things with this type of boss:

1. She will make attempts to fire you or come close to firing you. Don't make the mistake of thinking that because you got a pay raise and recent good evaluation that she won't pull a 180 and try to get you fired. Believe me...these type of people become dogged in their belief that you are a crappy worker and they are always right. Furthermore, if they can't fire you...they actually look like it as THEY are doing YOU the favor and giving you a 2nd chance. Never underestimate their level of being delusional.

2. She is more than likely pulling this crap with fellow co-workers. And when she does, the co-workers are afraid as well and they will immediately pass the blame down until it cannot be passed anymore. So, if you are the low man on the totem pole...that blame will come to you from your fellow co-workers. Another reason to document EVERYTHING.

I ran into this on my last job in Atlanta. We had a sister company in Ohio that did the IT work for our business in Atlanta. The head of IT in Ohio had a system that malfunctioned and when my boss confronted him on it, he admitted the system was the problem...but he blamed me (a statistician) for the failure. He claimed that I was impossible to communicate with. I had been there for a year and only talked to him once!

Thankfully, I had that documented. Many people will walk over you for a slice of pizza. Not everybody, but enough to keep that in mind.

3. The reason why I would look for a new job is that she can reek havoc for your come annual review/pay raise time. Remember, *she* is the one that will either determine your pay raise or have to fight for your pay raise with the higher ups. If she's clearly not on your side...your pay raises are going to suck. So is your chance for promotion. And that's why I would look for a new job...as long as she's your boss you're going to be behind the 8-ball come pay raise time.

Now, I would probably wait until pay raise time came again and see how she handles it. But, if she screws you over...you're going to keep being screwed over as long as she is your boss.

YR

hipfake08 · 12-02-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueStar3398

As far as I know, doing well. I just got a very good raise and I have received bonuses in the past for excellent work.

Kiss that bonus goodbye next year.

Kangaroo · 12-02-2011

Well the times I have had bosses like that i have a big fight (not physically) then if that does not solve the problem I start ignoring them and tell them ok and do what i was doing anyways (yes I know it can be bad). I have gone above to the next boss before and had good results.
I have left for another job lay it all out in the exit interview.

One job we had one like that eventually she got pushed out after half the team put in for a lateral transfer

davidyee · 12-03-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueStar3398

I have been at my job for a long time. I have this new manager that is clearly one of those "difficult people" you hear about. She changes the way she wants things done without fully explaining some of the steps in the procedure. Then, when you ask for clarification, she acts as if it is something that you should have known. Today, she e-mailed me saying that I was doing something incorrectly. I e-mailed her back, with documented proof that I was doing something the correct way. She would never back down on her stance or admit that what I showed her was correct. She did this not once but TWICE today! Then, later she e-mailed me again and chose another aspect of my daily work that she says was done incorrectly and it is something that she seems to have pulled out of thin air! It has to do with something that was taught to us by another manager to do a certain way and she has now changed it without telling anyone and says it is done wrong. My other manager was very [View Full Quote]

...but I would bail.

Look hard and methodically for a new position. I know the U.S. is not in the best of times, but start the process of actively looking.

Follow YR's advice of documentation and communication through e-mail. Do not communicate with this person in their office or encourage her walking into your office. Avoid all he said/she said situations where another isn't present.

Do your job and do it diligently. When and if you leave make no mention why you are leaving except for a "good opportunity".

Don't lament. Just look for an opportunity to turn the page to a new future.

ninja · 12-03-2011

What does she look like?

viman96 · 12-03-2011

I had a boss like that once. Fortunately only had to put up with her for 3-4 months before she got herself fired for being incompetent and a tyrant. I was in a difficult position and not able to quit without having to return my moving expenses.

theogt · 12-03-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by ologan

What condition is your company in? Is there a possibility of downsizing in the future? You may be being set up. Start documenting everything!

For what reason? This is a growing problem, I think, with the United States (though it's admittedly been a problem for some time). Potentially lose your job because the company isn't doing well? Get ready to SUE! SUE! SUE! Too much sense of entitlement.

Faerluna · 12-03-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by theogt

For what reason? This is a growing problem, I think, with the United States (though it's admittedly been a problem for some time). Potentially lose your job because the company isn't doing well? Get ready to SUE! SUE! SUE! Too much sense of entitlement.

Documenting for the purpose of showing that you are not the incompetent that your boss is making you out to be. It's not about litigation, it's about preventing job loss in the first place and covering your butt.