Things You'd Like to Say in a Staff Meeting

[Duane]

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in front of the group.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

I just might be out of my mind, so feel free to leave a message..

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

Do I look like a people person?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

[Qwickdraw]

Somewhere, a village is looking for their idiot.