Excerpts from a dog and cat's diary

[SupermanXx]

Subject: Pet Diaries

"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite

thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt

me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine

lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I

are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I

make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must

eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps

me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once

again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless

body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear

into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what

I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little

hunter" I am. *******s! There was some sort of

assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in

solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this

means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to

assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his

feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow

-- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that

the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

released - and seems to be more than willing to

return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to

be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my

every move. My captors have arranged protective

custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

[Yeagermeister]

http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showthread.php?t=83826

[Mavs Man]

It's a repost, but it's worth a bump.