Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Sam I Am, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. Sam I Am

    Sam I Am Unfriendly and Aloof!

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    Post your lame ***, but funny Chuck Norris jokes here.

    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

    Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks *** until he’s full.

  2. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

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    Superman wears Chuck Norris pj's
  3. Faerluna

    Faerluna I'm Complicated

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  4. zrinkill

    zrinkill Diamond surrounded by trash

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    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  5. daschoo

    daschoo Slanje Va

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    not chuck norris but similar enough to think that someones probably stole the jokes. someone has set up a fake gary caldwell (celtic defender who thinks he's worth more than he is) twitter page and some of the stuff on that is genius. couple of examples

    Every Christmas Gary Caldwell invites a homeless person into his house for dinner.....Then eats him. Top of the food chain *****es!

    I'm Stuck for Christmas present ideas for the family....Signed Gary Caldwell photos for the 3rd year in a row? SPOT ON.

    House hunting in middlesbrough tomorrow: Choosing a house is M'Boro is like trying to decide which STI you'd most like to catch.

    Off to China Buffet King; "eat what you like for £9" - Gary Caldwell's going to eat their cutlery.

    I've stood perfectly still for the last 43 minutes.

    bought new boots for the Dons game on Saturday..Ugg boots, **** it. I could play in flippers if you asked me. I have done. Talent is talent.

    Gary doesn't shower in the morning. I wake up smelling of success, why wash that off? Straight to breakfast.

    Not many people have a carvery for breakfast...Not many people are Gary Caldwell
  6. Bob Sacamano

    Bob Sacamano Benched

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    David Buehler is Chuck Norris incognito
  7. Sam I Am

    Sam I Am Unfriendly and Aloof!

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    Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face.

    Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
  8. DallasCowpoke

    DallasCowpoke Fierce Allegiance

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    True story. I just hired a new housekeeper a few months ago, via a recommendation from a friend of mine.

    I recently learned that her m-f job is working for Chuck Norris' mother at his "compound", just a few blocks from me.

    My Endust can now kick the living crap out of dust mites!
  9. Signals

    Signals Suspicious looking stranger

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    "Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. " :laugh1:
  10. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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    Behind Chuck Norris beard there is not a chin,just another fist.
    Chuck Norris does not wear a watch.He decides what time it is.
    Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
    There is no Global Warming.Chuck Norris was cold and turned the sun up.
    Chuck Norris does not read books.He just stares them down and gets the information he needs.

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