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Divorce Agreement

Discussion in 'Political Zone' started by PosterChild, Apr 24, 2009.

  1. PosterChild

    PosterChild New Member

    2,027 Messages
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    This an email making the rounds and I think it's intended to amuse. OTOH, it has a great deal to recommend it for serious discussion.

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
    socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of
    this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.
    I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
    generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
    ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
    right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it
    up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
    each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure
    our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
    relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
    other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
    welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war,
    we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can
    keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
    responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all
    three of them).

    We'll keep the capital ism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
    companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
    homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
    moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
    and Hollywood .

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
    right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
    peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
    under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
    Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McLane. You can also have the
    U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
    You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
    doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
    right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
    Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
    Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle
    up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
    history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
    like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
    just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR
    which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..


    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda
    with you.

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