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DMN Watkins Blog: Observations from late practice..(Mosley, too)

Discussion in 'Fan Zone' started by WoodysGirl, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. cowboyfan4life_mark

    cowboyfan4life_mark 5 outta 8 ain't bad

    2,931 Messages
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    You know. That's at the end of a game, your team has the lead and the ball. You "knell" so that you "kill" the other teams chance of winning. :p: :D ;)
  2. MichaelWinicki

    MichaelWinicki "You want some?" Staff Member

    32,375 Messages
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    No, no, no!

    Isn't a "knell" one of those things you hit with a hummer?
  3. iceberg

    iceberg detoxed Zone Supporter

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    i'll hang out with the apathetic who are tired of talking about it.
  4. RCowboyFan

    RCowboyFan New Member

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    Huh? You need history lesson for that? You can pick up the paper now....
  5. zrinkill

    zrinkill Diamond surrounded by trash

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    French Military History

    Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

    Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

    Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

    Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

    War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

    The Dutch War - Tied

    War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

    War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

    American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

    French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

    The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

    The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

    World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

    Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France surrenders?"
  6. CM Duck

    CM Duck I'm breaking the 4th wall...

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    I think the bad drug habit had more to do with that, but the "lame ducks" didn't help any, or his lisp, or his fear of competition...
  7. Bob Sacamano

    Bob Sacamano Benched

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    I'll defer to a quote from "Last of the Mohicans"

    "the French are more content to make love w/ their faces, than they are fighting"
  8. sf49rh8r

    sf49rh8r New Member

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    You just got to love this site. Thanks for the link to CBS 11. We don't get much Cowboys video out here in the middle of the Pacific except what is on ESPN. Much obliged....


    9r H8r in Paradise

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