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Early start on the 2014 excuses

Discussion in 'Jerry/Garrett/Rant Zone' started by NJ22, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. NJ22

    NJ22 Well-Known Member

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    1. We had too many injuries again! Even though in reality it was one spot primarily in 2013 that was a revolving door at the one technique and Selvie almost matched the average production that Spencer would have had and hatcher was ten times better than Ratliff would have been with his broken down body.

    2. Garretts beautiful mind is so complex that basic football game management is beneath him so his brain refuses to absorb it!

    3. kiffen is 95 years old

    4. Our division is so competitive with everyone finishing 2014 at 7-9 but of course us losing a tie break in week 17

    5. It is a process and it would be silly to expect garrett after only 4.5 seasons as head coach and 8 coaching the offense to be competitive when his process takes 13 years minimum.

    6. Maybe Jerry just cares about winning TOO Much and the players are crumbling under all that pressure he puts on them to "win or else!"
    JJB500, TheCoolFan and Boys122 like this.
  2. BoysFan4ever

    BoysFan4ever Well-Known Member

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    1. Jason..hey don't blame me. That wasn't in my textbook so I didn't know what to do!

    2. Sean Lee..DMN reports Sean stumped his toe this morning at home & will miss at least 8 games.

    3. Kiffen..Monte reportedly fell asleep in the booth & was unavailable to send down defensive signals resulting in the Niners scoring 24 unanswered points in the last quarter.

    4. Charlotte & Jean Jones had the upper concourse closed. Their Picasso was hung wrong & must be fixed before fans will be allowed back in those areas.

    5. Jerry...Justin Bieber was unavailable to perform at his scheduled Thanksgiving halftime performance. Airport officials found 6 dozen eggs in his luggage & upon intensive questioning he admitted he was going to egg the jones mansion after the game.
  3. jazzcat22

    jazzcat22 Well-Known Member

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    1. This thread sucks those eggs....
  4. Idgit

    Idgit Ice up, son. Ice up! Staff Member

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    Debating whether of not I'm supposed to add HUMOR: to this thread title. Anybody know, one way or another?
    xvendettax914 and Gaede like this.
  5. NJ22

    NJ22 Well-Known Member

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    Sadly it is accurate which makes it not humorous. You should archive it for next december. It will be spot on.
  6. NJ22

    NJ22 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Mickey! Hang in there JazzHands you'll get something right eventually!
  7. Idgit

    Idgit Ice up, son. Ice up! Staff Member

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    The 'Kiffin is 95' part is what threw me.
  8. xwalker

    xwalker Well-Known Member

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    Do you have a list of excuses for the low quality of this thread. If this thread was an NLF team it would be 0-16.
    TTexasTT likes this.
  9. Risen Star

    Risen Star Likes Collector Zone Supporter

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    We know what the excuse will be next year. Jason Garrett sucks. Monte Kiffin sucks. This entire coaching staff has got to go.

    Then we watch the replacements perform the same while Garrett goes on to enjoy success elsewhere.
    DenCWBY likes this.
  10. GloryDaysRBack

    GloryDaysRBack Well-Known Member

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    Romos back ruined this franchise..right as this team was on the verge of taking over the nfl...romo broke down...
    TheCoolFan likes this.
  11. Idgit

    Idgit Ice up, son. Ice up! Staff Member

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    That hit my funny bone, somehow. :)
  12. Phoenix

    Phoenix Well-Known Member

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    Well, at least Austin's hamstring shouldn't be an excuse.
  13. NJ22

    NJ22 Well-Known Member

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    Didnt mean to hurt your feelings mam.
  14. NJ22

    NJ22 Well-Known Member

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    My point with Kiff is I doubt he forgot how to coach but many tend to blame him and not the HC for the D. Last year it was the same thing with Ryan and he looked pretty smart in New orleans.
  15. Future

    Future Intramural Legend

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    Tough schedule.
  16. BanditHiro

    BanditHiro Well-Known Member

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    pretty much Garrett is going to cost a us a few close games with poor management down the stretch a we will barely miss the playoffs again.
  17. Fansince64

    Fansince64 Active Member

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    FIFY


    Monte Sliger
  18. CowboyFan4Eva

    CowboyFan4Eva Benched

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    Yeah. I could see that happening.....

    The Dallas jonesboys franchise is entering a dark period....even more so then the last 17 years....

    It's finally to obvious even to casual observers what is going on in Dallas....

    I can see a book titled...."how Jerry's stubborn passion destroyed the Cowboys"

    I am 41 years old.......been a fan since 8 years old. I don't think I will see another Super Bowl while watching my beloved cowboys......

    So i wait until the playoffs and pick one of those teams to watch.
    DenCWBY likes this.
  19. Seven

    Seven Messenger to the football Gods

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    You ain't got it in ya........... ;)
    Idgit likes this.
  20. BrAinPaiNt

    BrAinPaiNt Brotherhood of the Beard Staff Member

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    1. I drank too much Captain Morgan and was to buzzed to cheer properly during games.

    2. Jerry had another face lift so the doctors thought he might have the brain of a 40 year old and it further emboldened him to make more stupid mistakes.

    3. Will McClay needs demoted to his original title and Tom C needs promoted back to his original title.

    4. After another 8-8 season Jerry concludes that the continuity of the coaches causes further continuity of the win/loss record and fires the whole group while ignoring the continuity of the owner and GM's role in this mess.

    5. Jerry finally realizes that his wife used the excuse of "it will distract and confuse opponents and help the home team win" to get all of the art in the stadium was just that...an excuse.

    6. The miller lite girl dancers will no longer be drinking miller lite to support that product. Jerry will make sure they are drinking Red Bull so they dance harder and faster in order to distract the fans from product on the playing field.

    7. The roof will get stuck on a really hot and sunny day which will cause on of our WRs to get too much sunlight in his eyes when the ball is coming his way resulting in the pass getting intercepted.

    8. Towards the end of the season when the defense is still struggling Jerry will say something like..."In retrospect *lip smack* Umm I probably uh *lip smack* fired Monte"

    9. We are at the last game of the season. We are tied with another NFC East team and the winner goes to the playoffs and the loser stays home. The game is a Sunday night prime time last regular season game of the year. We are in the fourth quarter, the score is tied, we have the ball on the 10 yard line of the opposing teams side of the field with with one second left on the game clock, lined up for the game winning field goal. An unforeseen structural and mechanical issue along with a powerful Derecho wind causes the video board to fall onto the field squashing both teams causing the game to be called as a tie. The third place team in the NFC east wins the NFC east since the top two teams are too injured to go to the playoffs and tied at the last game. When asked about the Situation Jerry said...Well it was an entertaining game, were you not entertained.

    10. I start another thread about something someone else already started and some mean old mod merges it with an existing thread and I go all emo and complain about it which is just the rotten cherry topper on crap sunday.
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014
    Tawney88 and Aven8 like this.

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