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Excerpts from a dog and cat's diary

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by SupermanXx, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. SupermanXx

    SupermanXx Benched

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    Subject: Pet Diaries

    "Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite

    thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    "Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt

    me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine

    lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I

    are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I

    make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must

    eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps

    me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once

    again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless

    body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear

    into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what

    I am capable of. However, they merely made

    condescending comments about what a "good little

    hunter" I am. *******s! There was some sort of

    assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in

    solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

    confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this

    means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to

    assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his

    feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow

    -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that

    the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

    released - and seems to be more than willing to

    return. He is obviously ********. The bird has got to

    be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

    guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my

    every move. My captors have arranged protective

    custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    For now...
  2. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

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  3. Mavs Man

    Mavs Man All outta bubble gum

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    It's a repost, but it's worth a bump.

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