Humor: Gerald Sensabaugh Phone Call Home

Discussion in 'Fan Zone' started by SWG9, Jan 3, 2013.

  1. SWG9

    SWG9 Well-Known Member

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    Mr Sensabaugh: Hello?

    Sensabaugh: Dad? It’s me, Gerald.

    Mr. Sensabaugh: Gerald, I’m glad to hear from you. I’m so sorry about the loss the other day. I can’t believe the Cowboys yanked you from the starting lineup like that; that was cold. Did they even tell you that they were going to do that in advance?

    Sensabaugh: (awkward silence) Umm…Dad, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I started and played the entire game.

    Mr. Sensabaugh: (blurts out) WHAT!?! I didn’t even notice you out there! (silence) Son, I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way...

    Sensabaugh: Dad, don’t worry about it. I can barely even remember playing and the game was only a couple of days ago. Even I had to go back and re watch the tape to make sure that I was actually on the field and that it wasn’t just a dream. You know I tend to zone out and take mental naps a lot of the time when I’m out there, sometimes it’s tough to figure what was real and what wasn’t.

    Mr. Sensabaugh: I know son, your lapses in concentration are legendary. Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing you take a terrible angle on RG3’s TD.

    Sensabaugh: I know, and I even did my patented “Throw my hands in the air and act like it was someone else’s fault” routine. I’ve been doing that since Alan Ball was here and it still works like a charm!!

    Mr. Sensabaugh: (laughs) Have you given any thought to where you’re going to play next year?

    Sensabaugh: Dad, that’s the thing: I don’t even think I’m in danger of losing my starting job or even my roster spot. It’s unbelievable down here; half the people are blaming injuries, the other half are blaming coaching. I don’t think anyone even noticed how bad I was. They don’t give a flip about safeties in Dallas, they keep signing UDFA’s and castoffs to compete with me. You’ve got to see these guys to believe how bad they are. I don’t have to be good, I don’t have to be average, I don’t even have to be below average. I just need to be better than whatever terrible street level free agent they sign to play opposite me.

    Mr. Sensabaugh: Son, since we’re being so honest with each other, aren’t you at little worried that the coaches are going to catch on? I mean, how many years can this go on for?

    Sensabaugh: It doesn’t matter if the coaches catch on Dad, Jerry Jones calls the shots down here. The other day he passed me in the hallway and called me Darren. He thinks I’m Darren Woodson. As long as I hide out for the most of the offseason and stay invisible during camp, I think I’m safe.

    Mr. Sensabaugh: (smiling) How big was that extension you signed again?

    Sensabaugh: (smiling) 22.5 million.

    (simultaneous laughter)

    IAMKING Benched

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    This is a terrible post.
  3. Doomsay

    Doomsay Well-Known Member

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    More importantly, a terrible player.

    The contract extensions for Rat, Free, and the aforementioned hunchback would get any GM fired outside of Jerryland.
  4. batman36

    batman36 Active Member

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    I like your post, as there is some truth in some of it. Please have a good day!
  5. brooksey1

    brooksey1 Well-Known Member

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    You got me laughing, thanks for that.
  6. Mansta54

    Mansta54 Well-Known Member

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    Also ridiculous!!!!
  7. visionary

    visionary Well-Known Member

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    i needed the laugh

  8. MagicMan

    MagicMan Well-Known Member

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    :lmao2: ......hilarious.....

    I thought I was the only one who noticed his "throw your hands up" routine.....the guy must have pics of Jerry and Jason in a uncompromising position. funny stuff.
  9. Doomsay

    Doomsay Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, forgot to give you props. Comedy imitating life.
  10. riverside4

    riverside4 Active Member

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    awesome post you made me laugh Thanks
  11. bigdnlaca

    bigdnlaca Well-Known Member

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    I hope someone in here doesn't know father Sensabaugh.
  12. Deep_Freeze

    Deep_Freeze Well-Known Member

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    Yeah this is painfully funny.

    The worse potential starter next year on our D gets a pass around here by some.

    Its pathetically sad really, well played SW.
  13. Zordon

    Zordon Well-Known Member

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    sensabaugh is the worst. antithesis of darren woodson who was a very active player. i can hardly stand even looking at sensabaugh anymore. i'm popping champagne the day he is released.
  14. SWG9

    SWG9 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys, wasn't sure how well it would go over but it was cathartic for me.

    I guess we all deal in different ways.
  15. Irving Cowboy

    Irving Cowboy The Chief

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    Had me laughing.

    I think his turning around looking for someone to blame before they even crossed the goal line was classic Roy Williams-ish.
  16. links18

    links18 Well-Known Member

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    We know you are a huge homer; Now we know you have no sense of humor either! :D

    IAMKING Benched

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    When I looked it had all types of source code but its cleaned up and it still sucks.
  18. Sickwitit

    Sickwitit Member

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    I must be the only one that remembers his hit on J Grisham that ultimatly won the game!?! He didnt play great but soild i would say.
  19. Irving Cowboy

    Irving Cowboy The Chief

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    Different game, dude.

    Besides, I'm sure Tony Dixon caused a fumble or two back in his day, doesn't mean he didn't suck like a Hoover.
  20. SWG9

    SWG9 Well-Known Member

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    I think almost every safety in Dallas over the last 10 years has perfected this move. Can we just rename it "The Sensi" and save time next year?

    EG. Barry Church was jogging 10 yards behind DeSean Jackson and pulled a Sensi.

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