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i'm worried about my wife...

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by lane, Nov 16, 2008.

  1. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    if you would like to post something it would be greatly appreciated.


    i don't do this kind of thing, but it's getting pretty ridiculous around here and my wife could probably use some words of encouragement.

    here goes:

    my wife of 19 years lost her dad to cancer on may 22nd after a year and half of battling this horrible disease.

    two months later her sister dies unexpectedly of a heart attack.

    my wife's family is from galveston...her oldest sister and several cousins both lost their homes to hurricane ike.

    during the game tonight we got a call from her oldest sister saying one of her fave cousins got killed in a motorcycle wreck this afternoon.

    he was riding his motorcycle down the seawall with some of his fellow bikers and some jerk decided to make an u-turn in front of him and nearly decapitated him...

    the sob tried to flee the scene but his fellow biker friends captured him and held him till the police arrived.

    anyways...my wife has had a hard year to say the least.

    her name is kimberly and anyone wishing to offer words of comfort would be much appreciated.

    thanks, lane.
  2. jcr

    jcr New Member

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    Damn, that is a very hard few months. Sorry, just stay by her and help her through it. Knowing your there is her only comfort and assurance everything is not bad.
  3. Hostile

    Hostile Peace Zone Supporter

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    Kimberly my thoughts and prayers are with you. It has been a rough year for me too, but nothing like what you are going through. I too lost my Dad to cancer this year. It is hard to say that it is a blessing, but they are no longer suffering.

    A friend of mine once told me that the only way to take the sorrow out of death is to remove all the joy from life. He's right. You can't help feeling sorrow for your losses. The reason is because you had joy.

    I know it's not easy to focus on the joyous times you had with these family members you have lost, and who are struggling, but that really is the key to coping with it.

    Whenever I called my Dad I would say, "hello you old outlaw." I miss that. We have his picture hanging in the hallway. Sometimes when I pass by I stop and say, "hello you old outlaw." I know he appreciates it. Focus on the joy you shared.

    I know that is hard, but it also is how to beat the pain.
  4. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    thank you for your words.
  5. silverbear

    silverbear Semi-Official Loose Cannon

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    Lane, just tell Kimberly that she's gone through so much garbage here lately that the pendulum is bound to swing her way real soon, so she should just hang in the best she can...

    Those would be my words of encouragement, a different riff on the old cliche "tough times don't last, tough people do"...
  6. windward

    windward NFL Historian

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    That is true. I'd also add that the people that we're closest to play a huge part indeveloping who we are (values and what not) Think of a positive way in which someone close to you affected you and cherish that as thierlasting gift to you.
  7. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    thank you so much...
  8. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    thank you..my wife is reading each and everyone of these posts..
  9. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    thank you windward.
  10. DragonCowboy

    DragonCowboy Well-Known Member

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    This is great advice, I can't do any better than this.

    I hope your wife pulls through this, and I wish her the best of luck.
  11. seniorette

    seniorette New Member

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    What a blessing you are to many of us out here who take our good times for granted. You and your strength show us that we have so much to be thankful for and never stop to smell the roses while they bloom.
    Thank the Lord for using you as a witness of true strength to all of us sinners.
  12. BrAinPaiNt

    BrAinPaiNt Brotherhood of the Beard Staff Member

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    I don't know what it is but this year really has hit a great deal of people in a bad way. Nothing can take the pain away but I wish the best for your wife during a hard time. As time passes it will be a little easier, but as others have said, just focus on the good times to help her through it.
  13. Joe Rod

    Joe Rod When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

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    Kimberly,

    I don't know if words could help after such a devastating year mentally, but I will offer what I can.

    Two years ago my wife and I uprooted from Washington DC to move back here to Texas to be by my Dad's side because the Doctor's felt he only had a few good years left. We sacrificed a great amount of money and future job opportunities to do this, but my Dad was my best friend and I wanted to be there for him and allow him to see his grandson grow up while there was still time (my Son was two when we moved).

    Roughly a month after we moved, my Dad passed away unexpectedly. At the same time, my wife and I also gave up on having a second child due to her having severe endometriosis, which threw her into a major depression. Shortly after that, I developed a severely herniated disk that pinched two of my nerves and I couldn't even make to the back of a grocery store without using a grocery cart to prop me up. Through this, I still had to take care of my Grandmother, which included taking her to visit my Dad's grave about two hours away in San Antonio no matter how much it hurt me to make the drive. She was suicidal at the time and her grief was so heavy that it simply blinded her to my pain and everything else in life. My stepmother immediately burned through my Dad's money that he had left for her to live the rest of her life on and refused to help out with my Grandmother.

    I was taking 2000 mg of Hydrocodone for my back, which helped the pain little, but did end up getting me very addicted. My wife was depressed, my son was neglected and I started to slip into a depression.

    One morning I decided I had had enough and took back control of my life. I researched and found another Doctor who operated on me and fixed my back. Immediately after the surgery, I put down the hydrocodone and worked through the pain and withdrawal on my own. I rehabbed myself physically and rededicated myself to Christ to heal spiritually. My wife and I adopted a beautiful baby girl from Guatemala to fill the missing piece of our family and I dedicated time every day to do things with my children no matter how tired I was.

    The last two years proved to be the most difficult in my life, but I feel that I emerged a better father, husband and person. Although my Dad passed away, I was blessed that I got to spend that month with him and that he was able to spend time with my son. My son still talks about his Popo and how much he loved him. My Grandmother has decided to live rather than die and, although I am estranged from my stepmother, she pitches in to help out with my grandmother's needs.

    I guess the moral of the story is that, perhaps the darker days will give way to brighter ones with time and perseverance. Keep faith and God Bless.
  14. Rampage

    Rampage Benched

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    you're the key to this my brother from another mother. that is a rough stretch your wife is going through so just be there for her. also a nice suprise of flowers or taking her out to dinner could help brighten things up a little bit. Hang in there Kim. after all you're married to big Lane so you got something good going on.
  15. CowboyPrincess

    CowboyPrincess Priceless

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    Hey Lane and Kimberly

    I am so sorry for your sorrows. I know that everyone has a story they could tell you, but a lot of people know what I've been through in my past and know that as hard as it was, I made it through. I lost my husband to a heart attack, 16 days later lost my grandma to alheimers , mother in law to lung cancer, best friend (brain cancer) and my husbands best friend (pulminary paralysis) within six months and lost my home, possessions and 1/2 my income in that same time. 911 happened 3 mos after losing my husband and I had to talk to dozens of clients that lost friends, family, spouses and jobs in those towers and cried on my shoulder and told me what they saw that day. There have been other tramatic things that have happened since including my daughters illness that has caused her to be hospitalized since she was 14.

    When I thought I couldn't take anymore and had to deal with the first set of holidays following all my loss, I had an emotional break down. My momma and daddy told me that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle and that I needed to remember how strong he made me. It was hard but I got through it and found my smile again. You never get over the loss, you just learn how to deal with it and get past the pain.

    I know the pain you are feeling in your heart and I know how painfull it really is. It will get better. Appreciate every moment you have with those you love and know that it does get better... it really does

    I have a pretty strong shoulder and if you ever need someone to listen that has been there, I'm here.

    Look inside and find your strength... You are stronger than you know Kimberly...

    In my prayers,
    Tammy
  16. REDVOLUTION

    REDVOLUTION Return to Dominance

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    Lane/Kimberly.

    Stay STRONG.

    For each other. For yourselves, individually.



    Celebrate the lives of the ones who have passed. As time goes by you will remember MOSTLY good things/times with them.


    All the best!
  17. bbgun

    bbgun Benched

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    I don't know what to say, but I'm pretty sure the answer isn't on Oprah or in a book. Her only consolation is that somewhere, someone else has it worse.
  18. lane

    lane The Chairman

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    my wife and i would like to thank everyone for your thoughts.

    it means alot.

    one thing i neglected to mention....

    there was no way in hell that her mother was going to outlive her dad before he got that cancer.

    kim's mother has emphysema and heart disease..

    i'm afraid this might be the straw that broke the camel's back with her.

    she misses her husband so much and for her to lose her daughter two months later....well you can imagine.

    anyway...i thank you so much for caring.

    i'm glad to be a member of the cowboy zone.
  19. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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    Kimberly,my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

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