My Jerry Jones has Locked Out Everyone Out of Draft War Room Cowboys Mock Draft

Discussion in 'Draft Zone' started by timb2, Apr 11, 2017.

  1. waving monkey

    waving monkey Well-Known Member

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    That broken down RB from Ark in 2015 ran the ball 239 times for 1,089 yards 4.6 average. Oh that contract was a two year deal 5.85 so less then 3 million per year.
    Zeek was his replacement in 2016. He did alright.

    You know arrogant ignorance is a fools folly
     
  2. Idgit

    Idgit If you food, you gonna be ate. Staff Member

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    Of the current threads on the board, this is my new favorite.

    I want to see timb2 and CowboyRoy lock horns on a topic so badly, I can taste it. Somebody find a way to make that happen.
     
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  3. GhostOfPelleur

    GhostOfPelleur Well-Known Member

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    Will we be able to understand/follow along?
     
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  4. Idgit

    Idgit If you food, you gonna be ate. Staff Member

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    I imagine it'd be the intellectual equivalent of watching two ducks fighting. Lots of beaks and feathers and honking, no real harm done to anybody. 10/10 would watch again.
     
  5. CIWhitefish

    CIWhitefish Active Member

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    I thought I was Marty McFly here for a second reading this. Then I realized it's 2017.
     
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  6. FuzzyLumpkins

    FuzzyLumpkins The Boognish

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    I did and I have to say you made the better decision.
     
  7. xwalker

    xwalker Well-Known Member

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    Ever hear of the Tex Schramm show?

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...wIGzAA&usg=AFQjCNHAy3SybyiGz447yST5bTcaGUUzmw
     
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  8. xwalker

    xwalker Well-Known Member

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    Jimmie Johnson is a race car driver.

    Jimmy Johnson was the Cowboys coach.
     
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  9. Pants

    Pants Well-Known Member

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    This about sums up the OP lol
     
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  10. Melonfeud

    Melonfeud Well-Known Member

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    Talk about a tough crowd?
    Sheese, I enjoyed reading the o.p.'s thread in its unveiled jocular prose and truth be told there's more fact than fiction in his humorous slant .
     
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  11. haleyrules

    haleyrules Well-Known Member

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    lol. Post of the century!!
     
  12. Biggems

    Biggems White and Nerdy

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    Romo was undrafted.......I can't believe you didn't mention Leon Lett.
     
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  13. timb2

    timb2 Well-Known Member

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    So how did I do?

    1-He loves Arkansas. His Alma Mater and these Razorback players walk on water to Jerry. Don't believe me? Felix Jones 2nd string RB picked in the 1st round over Chris Johnson & Ray Rice.He kept Clint Stoerner & Anthony Lucas on the practice squad for freaking 3 years and they sucked big time Jerry hoping they could blossom with time.I guess Jerry was hoping a decade(((((((-He got Dan Skipper as a UDFA)))))))

    2-Jerry likes weird and silly nicknames. He must think because you have a goofy name or some cute nickname that must mean you are good.-Peppi Zellner never even started at his famed powerhouse college.That Dominant power Fort Hayes State and Jerry selected Zellner in the 4th round. Ebenezer Ekuban,Aqwasi Owusuh-Ansah,Skyler Green.((((((Chidobi Awuzie is a weird name,Taco Charlton silly nickname)))))

    3-He has not drafted one Miami Hurricane since the breakup with Jimmie Johnson. Jerry holds his petty grudges.So no Huricanes.(((((( No Hurricanes again))))

    4-Jerry likes to find that Diamond in the Rough. He wants to find someone that none of the NFL has thought about. He will find some obscure school and think this guy could be good. Devern Johnson(Sacred Heart) Kavika Pittman(McNeese State),Stepfret Williams(I can't even remember this college)etc.((((( Nate Threaker from Wayne State as a UDFA))))

    5-Jerry is fixated in finding pass rushers early-Greg Ellis 1st,Demarcus Ware 1st,Anthony Spencer 1st,Shante Carver 1st,Ebenzer Ekuban 1st,Demarcus Lawrence 2nd,Kavika Pittman 2nd,(((((Taco Charlton)))))

    6-Jerry feels the fans wrath and he will draft some Homer picks.The local kids to appease the fans. Texas A&M and instate Texas players.((((( Wasn't a stink draft so didn't have to pull the Homer card)))

    7-Jerry is fixated by shiney objects. Someone right before the draft rumors that this guy is flying up the boards and Jerry is like a moth to a lightbulb totally hypnotized.(((( Looks like Garrett & Stephen kept him in check))))

    8-Jerry drafts TEs early also-Gavin Escobar 2nd,Martellus Bennett 2nd,Anthony Fasano 2nd,David LaFleur 1st,Jason Witten 3rd,Eric Bjornson ,etc,((((( Surprised me,Witten gets another year under the sun))))

    9- Jerry likes Frankensteins. Big tall guys who can barely move and Jerry thinks you can make it. Sam Young? George Hegamen? Antonio Anderson?(((((Dan Skipper as a UDFA))))

    10-Jerry doesn't mind criminals , lunatics, druggies,and maniacs.(((Not sure Jourdan Lewis falls under this,but does have off field baggage)))

    11-Jerry constantly drafts midgets WRs. Zuriel Smith?,Skyler Green?,Stepfret Williams?(((((He got Ryan Switzer))))


    OK SO HERE IS MY JERRY JONES HAS LOCKED OUT EVERYONE Mock Draft


    1-Taco Charlton DE Michigan-Jerry likes stupid nicknames and likes to draft pass rushers early.----((( I nailed the pick)))

    2-Dan Skipper OT Arkansas- Jerry overrates his favorites. He likes big tall players who have little ability also. You run a forty that could be timed by a sun dial and Jerry is impressed. Also Arkansas so we should be ready for Jerry's favortism.(((( UDFA)))))

    3-Michael Roberts TE Toledo.-Big Tall and his forty is below average. Can't get downfield,couldn't run a forty unless you put a chinese buffet line in front of him.(That's a miss)

    4-Jeremy Sprinkle TE Arkansas-Yes but Jerry just drafted a TE,but this is Jerry we are talking about and Sprinkle can be a boneheaded scumbag thief(which he is),but he played at Arkansas and Jerry is is Heaven right now.(((That's a miss)))

    No 5th round

    6th-Jerelle Carter CB Trinity International.-yes you all have heard of this place right? It has to be some football powerhouse you don't know then?(NADA)))

    7thA-Speedy Noll WR Texas A&M. Covers 3 things Homer crowd ,midget, and stupid nickname.(NOPE)

    7thB- FREAKING KICKER!!! Actually this is low we draft kickers higher and if the kicker can a be a specialist I don't know he does something like he outruns our safeties or designated kicker every other time with the regular kicker, Jerry will do this.((( NO THANK GOD)))!!!!!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
  14. timb2

    timb2 Well-Known Member

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    Some other Jerry Jones rules for drafting that I forgot about...


    ***-He likes to double dip from schools. Got Greg Ellis from North Carolina and next year grabbed Ebenezer Ekuban from North Carolina..(((Taco and Lewis could have been this))

    ****Don't be hatin!!! They like to draft white token players hoping they make it. If they can play I'm OK with it,but some we have drafted have been total stinkbombs. Danny Coale? Matt Johnson??? Ben Gardner??? Oh by the way I am a white guy.(((( Ivie & Switzer)))

    **** Jerry will trade down when in the low part of the 1st round to the 2nd round.He could gather 15 7th rounders and Jerry would do it. Drives me nuts waiting for the pick,just for them to move down again and again....They have kept him in check the last couple of years(Glad he didn't do it this year))
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
  15. Melonfeud

    Melonfeud Well-Known Member

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    Ha,ha,ha I remember this it was funny then and it's funny now,,,and yes you called #1 that's a screamer,and ,,GOOD JOB.
     
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  16. haleyrules

    haleyrules Well-Known Member

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    lol. I thought it was the same guy....learned to drive fast cars...so he could get away from Jerry has fast as he could!;).
     
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  17. bodi

    bodi Well-Known Member

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    I would have gone with

    1 Tyus Bowser - DE
    2 Taylor Moton - OT
    3 -Desmond King - S/CB
    4 Damontae Kazee - CB
    6 Jeremy Sprinkle - TE
    7 Josh Holsey - CB
    7 Carroll Phillips - LB
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
    timb2 likes this.

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