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Obama's Magic

Discussion in 'Political Zone' started by irvin88, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. irvin88

    irvin88 Active Member

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    Obama's Magic
    Presto, change-o!
    By KIMBERLEY A. STRASSEL


    And now, America, we introduce the Great Obama! The world's most gifted political magician! A thing of wonder. A thing of awe. Just watch him defy politics, economics, even gravity! (And hold your applause until the end, please.)

    To kick off our show tonight, Mr. Obama will give 95% of American working families a tax cut, even though 40% of Americans today don't pay income taxes! How can our star enact such mathemagic? How can he "cut" zero? Abracadabra! It's called a "refundable tax credit." It involves the federal government taking money from those who do pay taxes, and writing checks to those who don't. Yes, yes, in the real world this is known as "welfare," but please try not to ruin the show.

    Ken FallinFor his next trick, the Great Obama will jumpstart the economy, and he'll do it by raising taxes on the very businesses that are today adrift in a financial tsunami! That will include all those among the top 1% of taxpayers who are in fact small-business owners, and the nation's biggest employers who currently pay some of the highest corporate tax rates in the developed world. Mr. Obama will, with a flick of his fingers, show them how to create more jobs with less money. It's simple, really. He has a wand.

    Next up, Mr. Obama will re-regulate the economy, with no ill effects whatsoever! You may have heard that for the past 40 years most politicians believed deregulation was good for the U.S. economy. You might have even heard that much of today's financial mess tracks to loose money policy, or Fannie and Freddie excesses. Our magician will show the fault was instead with our failure to clamp down on innovation and risk-taking, and will fix this with new, all-encompassing rules. Presto!

    Did someone in the audience just shout "Sarbanes Oxley?" Usher, can you remove that man? Thank you. Mr. Obama will now demonstrate how he gives Americans the "choice" of a "voluntary" government health plan, designed in such a way as to crowd out the private market and eliminate all other choice! Don't worry people: You won't have to join, until you do. Mr. Obama will follow this with a demonstration of how his plan will differ from our failing Medicare program. Oops, sorry, folks. The Great Obama just reminded me it is time for an intermission. Maybe we'll get to that marvel later.

    We're back now. And just watch the Great Obama perform a feat never yet managed in all history. He will create that enormous new government health program, spend billions to transform our energy economy, provide financial assistance to former Soviet satellites, invest in infrastructure, increase education spending, provide job training assistance, and give 95% of Americans a tax (ahem) cut -- all without raising the deficit a single penny! And he'll do it in the middle of a financial crisis. And with falling tax revenues! Voila!

    Moving along to a little ventriloquism. Study his mouth carefully, folks: It looks like he's saying "I'll stop the special interests," when in fact the words coming out are "Welcome to Washington, friends!" Wind and solar companies, ethanol makers, tort lawyers, unions, community organizers -- all are welcome to feed at the public trough and to request special favors. From now on "special interests" will only refer to universally despised, if utterly crucial, economic players. Say, oil companies. Hocus Pocus!
    And for tonight's finale, the Great Obama will uphold America's "moral" obligation to "stop genocide" by abandoning Iraq! While teleported to the region, he will simultaneously convince Iranian leaders to peacefully abandon their nuclear pursuits (even as he does not sit down with them), fix Afghanistan with a strategy that does not resemble the Iraqi surge, and (drumroll!) pull Osama bin Laden out of his hat!

    Tada!

    You can clap now. (Applause. Cheers.) We'd like to thank a few people in the audience. Namely, Republican presidential nominee John McCain, who has so admirably restrained himself from running up on stage to debunk any of these illusions and spoil everyone's fun.

    We know he's in a bit of a box, having initially blamed today's financial crisis on corporate "greed," and thus made it that much harder to call for a corporate tax cut, or warn against excessive regulation. Still, there were some pretty big openings up here this evening, and he let them alone! We'd also like to thank Mr. McCain for keeping all the focus on himself these past weeks. It has helped the Great Obama to just get on with the show.

    As for that show, we'd love to invite you all back for next week's performance, when the Great Obama will thrill with new, amazing exploits. He will respect your Second Amendment rights even as he regulates firearms! He will renegotiate Nafta, even as he supports free trade! He will...

    Write to kim@wsj.com
  2. JBond

    JBond Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't of written it better myself.
  3. Trouble

    Trouble New Member

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    Obama the magician, all smoke & mirrors.




    ........................................................................................................
  4. CowboyPrincess

    CowboyPrincess Priceless

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    That was very well written
  5. ConcordCowboy

    ConcordCowboy Mr. Buckeye

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  6. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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  7. adamc91115

    adamc91115 New Member

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  8. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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    Pass it on.
  9. SuspectCorner

    SuspectCorner Bromo

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    Beats the heck outta watching another four years of Republican "52-pickup"...
  10. adamc91115

    adamc91115 New Member

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    Take your time, man... This is the internet.
    No need for such a hurried and sloppy come back.
  11. SuspectCorner

    SuspectCorner Bromo

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    Meanwhile they'll be quoting your classic post for years.
  12. adamc91115

    adamc91115 New Member

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    As they rightly should :).
  13. SuspectCorner

    SuspectCorner Bromo

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    Next you'll be signing an autographed picture of yourself TO yourself.
  14. adamc91115

    adamc91115 New Member

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    My copy is already hanging on my fridge. Don't tell me you don't want a copy for yourself.

    But in all seriousness and relation to the thread...

    If you look at every position that Obama has, and look at what he says about each position, he ALWAYS leaves himself a way to change his position without looking like a flip flopper.

    Example: 11/22/2005 Barack Obama
    "I strongly opposed this war before it began, though many disagreed with me at that time... Voices I respect are calling for a rapid withdrawal of our troops, regardless of events on the ground." Now, next paragraph.

    "I believe that, having waged a war that has unleashed daily carnage and uncertainty in Iraq, we have to manage our exit in a responsible way."

    He always leaves himself with an "exit strategy" if you will. Thats one compliment I will give Obama... He is very good with words, sort of slick I guess you could say.
  15. JBond

    JBond Well-Known Member

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    Lets stop with the PC garbage. The guy is a clown. I am tired of trying not to offend some lib nut job. Barack Hussein Obama is bad for America. I have never seen so many clear cut cases of a guy with horrible judgement.

    PS. I like your post.
  16. SuspectCorner

    SuspectCorner Bromo

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    At $10B per month - Obama isn't the only one seeking an Iraq exit strategy.

    Is he an intentionally slick politician? Maybe.

    He certainly hasn't hemmed himself into corners on a daily basis the way McCain has of late - he's left himself options at almost every turn. Which has him looking "large and in charge" (or Presidential) while McCain continues to swerve just trying to stay between the ditches.

    This is no accident. Obama is setting the steady pace - and this is coming as an absolute shock to John McCain who finally appears to be gaining a full appreciation for just how badly the Bush43 Admin has hamstrung him.
  17. CowboyPrincess

    CowboyPrincess Priceless

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    I'm with you... this PC crap has got to stop.

    Time for my rant

    Osama becoming president is the worst thing that can happen especially with everything else that is going on. The idea of Osama being president is giving me nightmares. And with all that has been discovered about his state voting history and his U.S voting history and coupled with his bedfellows... all I can conclude is that he is being groomed to be the first black president that just happens to have a muslim name at a time when our country is still at war with terrorist that share the same thoughts and actions as those "domestic" terrorist he associates with. All hell is gonna break loose if nothing is done quick
  18. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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    1)That's easy to do when you are a man of positions,not principles.
    2)Associations don't matter,right?
  19. MetalHead

    MetalHead Benched

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    The Bubba Factor.
    We are angry at whats going on.
    We know where this economic disaster came from.
    That's why you are starting to see people at the McCain rallies asking him to fight harder.Show us something Johnny!
    We do not want socialism.We repudiate it.
    Socialism is not what the founding fathers had in mind when they put together one of the greatest documents in the history of mankind.
    WE THE PEOPLE.
  20. adamc91115

    adamc91115 New Member

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    Yup... I believe there are a lot of Independents that WANT to vote for McCain, but he's not showing them ANYTHING. He better pull something off in this debate, or this election is over.

    I also believe McCain has a higher ceiling than Obama... Obama's appears to be around an 8% lead nationally, I can't see it going higher than that.

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