I am the candidate of change. What change I'll bring you, I don't know. But I figure if I say change enough, you will believe me. Now in unison, like sheep, change, change, bah, bah, change, bah, change. I promise to bring economic change, foreign change, and spare change. Do you have spare change? Good. Because you'll need it when I raise taxes to foot the bill for my programs. Socia.....err....My economic policies call for free health care. Not sure how I'll pay for it, but I imagine at some point I will talk to economic experts and they'll figure it out. All I have to do is sign on the dotted line (hell, even Bush can do that. Though he did sign it upside down once). (It should be noted that during his speech, he did legitimately call out the Bush administration for its spending.... at which point I nearly died laughing. Pot. Meet Kettle.) I promise to end our dependency on foreign oil with the help of my magical wand. And by wand of course, I mean Bill Clinton's staff. Hillary ain't using it anyway.... I will create jobs in America by raising minimum wage and taxes. Its been proven scientifically that raising taxes + raising minimum wage = job creation; proven by scientists studying science and stuff. McCain will fail. Look at Bush. He failed. We now have $4 a gallon for gas, global warming, permanent bases in Iraq, and Sasquatch threatening ANWR. Additionally, public perception of Bush is low. Both here and overseas. Bush has been a failure. We cannot afford to re-elect President Bus.....errr.... elect John McCain. I will bring change. Change and unity. Unity and Change. Obama '08 _______________ McCain saw this speech and was pissed. He was ready to give a speech in response, but fortunately, his aids came to the rescue. They gave him some warm milk and put him down for his nap.