...though this isn't really a mock as many would point out. I guess it could be called "Guys This Dude Would Draft In About The Position He's Seen Real Mocks Draft Them In'. GTDWDIATPHSRMDTI. There, it's abbreviated; I've started a freakin' internet revolution. He's my concept. Please insult me (*Note: No trades here. Makes my head hurt.): #11 Marcus Spears People hate this pick. I hate people. Doesn't matter what the rabble thinks, Bill and I love drafting defensive linemen early. Bill's this guy I used to... oh, nevermind. #20 David Pollack Does he fall this far. Yes. Based only on my need to have been wanting him to. Have your 4th grader diagram that last sentence. #42 Marlin Jackson You wanna free safety? I've got your free safety right here. Gosselin says this is kinda high, I retort that I'm kinda high. #109 Darren Sproles Day 2 and Cowboys' fans lament the lack of offensive punch. This is one sum***** of a roundhouse on opponents' hind cheeks. Too small? Not the first time I've heard that, and yes I mean in that way! #148 Johnathan Goddard It's mighty swell to get a 2nd Team All-American pass rusher in round 5, some would say fanciful. Well, rouge my cheeks, hand me a feather boa and call me Ethel Merman, I believe! #208 Sione Pouha The odds he lasts this long are long. The end of that last sentence has too much repetition. He'll love DFW. He can troll Euless for breadfruit and hot Tongan babes. They still live in Euless, right? #209 Sam Mayes He's big. He's black. He plays OG. He also can expedite the egress of Gurode. #224 Maurice Clarett He didn't land on Plymouth Rock; Plymouth Rock landed on him, and his $10,000 car stereo set-up. Even the guy I knew in college that slung drugs didn't have this level of electronics opulence. That's a helluva summer job. Well, I've done the damage I can do. Now I must have a Pop Tart.