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Only Drunk People Should Do Mocks...

Discussion in 'Draft Zone' started by fishspill, Apr 6, 2005.

  1. fishspill

    fishspill Well-Known Member

    1,364 Messages
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    ...though this isn't really a mock as many would point out. I guess it could be called "Guys This Dude Would Draft In About The Position He's Seen Real Mocks Draft Them In'. GTDWDIATPHSRMDTI. There, it's abbreviated; I've started a freakin' internet revolution. He's my concept. Please insult me (*Note: No trades here. Makes my head hurt.):

    #11 Marcus Spears
    People hate this pick. I hate people. Doesn't matter what the rabble thinks, Bill and I love drafting defensive linemen early. Bill's this guy I used to... oh, nevermind.

    #20 David Pollack
    Does he fall this far. Yes. Based only on my need to have been wanting him to. Have your 4th grader diagram that last sentence.

    #42 Marlin Jackson
    You wanna free safety? I've got your free safety right here. Gosselin says this is kinda high, I retort that I'm kinda high.

    #109 Darren Sproles
    Day 2 and Cowboys' fans lament the lack of offensive punch. This is one sum***** of a roundhouse on opponents' hind cheeks. Too small? Not the first time I've heard that, and yes I mean in that way!

    #148 Johnathan Goddard
    It's mighty swell to get a 2nd Team All-American pass rusher in round 5, some would say fanciful. Well, rouge my cheeks, hand me a feather boa and call me Ethel Merman, I believe!

    #208 Sione Pouha
    The odds he lasts this long are long. The end of that last sentence has too much repetition. He'll love DFW. He can troll Euless for breadfruit and hot Tongan babes. They still live in Euless, right?

    #209 Sam Mayes
    He's big. He's black. He plays OG. He also can expedite the egress of Gurode.

    #224 Maurice Clarett
    He didn't land on Plymouth Rock; Plymouth Rock landed on him, and his $10,000 car stereo set-up. Even the guy I knew in college that slung drugs didn't have this level of electronics opulence. That's a helluva summer job.

    Well, I've done the damage I can do. Now I must have a Pop Tart.
  2. Tio

    Tio Armchair QB

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    Good luck living this down...
  3. JGleas

    JGleas Draft Expert

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    No doubt you were drunk.
  4. trickblue

    trickblue Old Testament...

    29,493 Messages
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    Heed TIO's warnings... has knows a thing or two about this area... ;)
  5. Tio

    Tio Armchair QB

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    What, are ya stalking me now? Freak!!!
  6. trickblue

    trickblue Old Testament...

    29,493 Messages
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    No... not at all...

    There are just those pesky "rumors" floating around... glad I don't have to deal with them...
  7. Tio

    Tio Armchair QB

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    Yeah, your rumors were verified long ago when you kept showing 80's disco pictures and Juke got a hold of you XXX rated diary.
    If I ever catch you staring at me again Im leavin....
  8. InmanRoshi

    InmanRoshi Zone Scribe

    18,334 Messages
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    This is how a mock draft should be.
  9. trickblue

    trickblue Old Testament...

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    I'm with you... I could live with this draft sans Clarette...

    I like the fact that Marlin Jackson has stated he doesn't care what position he plays... he was a bonified first rounder at CB a couple of months back... now his stock has dropped for some reason...

    He would be an EXCELLENT pick for free safety... we need Roy in the box...

    Sproles, Goddard and Pouha can play in this league... they may even challenge some starters... Mayes can be a solid back-up...
  10. Nors

    Nors Benched

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