Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Muhast, Feb 7, 2013.
Don't know who bullied you when you were a kid, but you REALLY REALLY need to get over it.
...I never was.
But I do work alot with youth in sports teams and often in their personal lives as their personal problems cross over into the clubhouse and locker room.
Also my wife works in the education system primarly in Grades 6-8 where children are very vunerable as they are entering into their teen years.
There's nothing for me to get over, but every reason in my personal life to ensure that attitudes and comments such as what you have posted are countered and not accepted as the only truth to this societal problem.
Nothing to get over, but every reason to counter and stop it.
It's my perogative, but I believe my perogative is in the best interest of society and young people who are caught in bad situations.
Funny thing I have noticed as I have attended anti bullying lectures and training sessions and wwatched kids on the football and soccer teams I have coached.
People/kids who are bullied tend to condone bullying and are some of the biggest and nastiest bullies in life. A bad situation at home with a parent or a sibling leads to incredibly bad behavior and attitudes with their own peer group and the public.
That's what makes this issue so insipid and pervasive. The bullying in public oftens reveals a hidden bully in the background.
They learn to accept bad behavior and poor attitude as a way to regain control in their personal lives that they lose when they are exposed to their own bully.
This is all good and fine, save for the fact that you've yet to discern what "bullying" actually is if you're comparing the two situations.
It's not as simple as choosing not to log into a facebook fan page when it's actually happening in real life or even via the web.
Again people, Bears fans were mocking her because she represented the Packers as a cheerleader. Had she been wearing ANYTHING else, then she would not have been part of this story.
That's not the case with REAL ACTUAL bullying victims. It's scary that some of you work with troubled youth if you can't even comprehend the situation here.
I know this is in mostly in jest, but it's actually spot on.
"Bullying" is normally done to the innocent, to those that do not provoke it, to those that are singled out and picked on, ... not to those that continually bring it on themselves.
I believe there is a difference there.
I also believe there are many different levels of bullying, and each victim could react differently to each level.
For example, if we scaled bullying from 1-10, .. someone could get bullied at a level 8, but not be affected as much as someone else who is more upset about getting bullied at a level 5.
Each person could/would be impacted differently.
Therefore, bullying, at any level, should not be seen as "ok", and should never be tolerated.
I like this thread. I opened days ago, clicked 'play' on the youtube viewer, rolled my eyes when I saw the poster board, and then closed it immediately. But I shouldn't have.
First off, good for her for standing up to the sophomoric responses to her pic. I'd be proud of her if she were my daughter, and I think the effort she made to keep everything in context was important.
I don't agree that what happened to her constitutes bullying. It was unwanted unflattering and harsh criticism of a picture of her. It was rude, and the sort of thing that happens in a desensitized environment like the internet. I'd hope the posters who posted the crudest comments, if they had the chance to see her response, were sufficiently embarrassed. They should be. But it's not bullying. It's just low-class. Bullying it typically a habitual pattern, and directed at more than one incident, and it's typically more personal than just a rude appraisal of a person's appearance in a single picture.
Still, good for the Chicago Bears Fan page for taking it down. There's no good reason to allow hurtful content to persist on a regular fan page.
...is scary that you can't even find it in yourself to condone this behavior.
Sports teams or not I don't beleive anyone has the right to say the things they posted to her on the fan page.
I never during any of my posts declared or called the act "bullying". But in my opinion much of the actions of the nameless, hidden internet posters resembles the societal attitudes that occur when people marginalize others for their race, economic and social situations.
Is it so important to you to win the bullying argument that you can't just accept or acknowledge the inappropriateness and the troubling nature of the behavior?
I never said that I condone that kind of behavior. Those comments were out of line and I acknowledged that long ago (even stating that I would never personally say those things), but that's the typical behavior of a large percentage of any commentariat on the internet. Even sites for more "educated" adults usually have comment sections where someone spins blame onto a political figure, then the whole thing blows up into a race war filled with vile nonsense.
You implied that this was bullying by comparing it to your personal experiences, but you're still having a hard time dissociating "her" from the sports team. If you think this girl would have been bullied by all those fans if she were not wearing Packers gear, then you are wrong.
I lived in Chicago for many years, and trust me, Bears fans aren't some group of misogynist jerks just out to pick on ugly girls. This is purely Packer-related vitriol. For years (even before the internet) people have gone to stadiums and said way worse things about rival opponents and anyone associated with them.
Cyber bullying is an ACTUAL wayy more serious thing than this.
I believe bullying has some form of harrassment in the element of it. I don't see this girl being harassed. I see it as people who saw a picture of a cheerleader from their rival team and called her ugly. It also appears she had to go out of her way to find the picture and read the comments. In fact, it appears that not one person even knew the girl's name or went any further than calling her ugly or whatever was involved in those posts.
I see people talk about 'moral obligation', but 'morals' have nothing to do with it. I've seen a lot of people here call other people on the forum 'stupid' or the like. Does that mean those people are immoral?
Of course not.
And it doesn't mean they are bullies either.
It means that in this situation they were mean and rude; most likely due to her cheering for a hated rival. Something tells me if she was wearing a Bears jacket, nobody would have said a word or it would have been very positive.
I believe it's a very good trait to have is to ignore criticism and people who are being mean to you. Nobody is condoning that behavior. But, there's really not much you can do and giving those people attention is what they wanted in the first place. And if you're going to let every mean or rude comment towards you get you bent out of shape, you're going to have a tough life.
No, everyone has the right. It's in our Constitution.
The comment about what the guy would do to her, from behind, with a bag over her head.
Say what you want, call it what you want, .. but I hope our society never reaches a point when that is accepted.
Maybe it already has, ..sad.
...tough life when you have to go through unfortunate incidents.
But I do believe in giving back to people the negative attention they never expected in the first place.
Earlier in this thread I wondered aloud what would happen if the poster who wrote what he would do to this girl with a paper bag was exposed to society.
It's not attention they crave. It's the power of anonimity given by the internet to say whatever they want with impunity.
I don't think that as a society we should give that to them.
You want to say I hate the Packers. Fine that is acceptable as it is an entity that is typically faceless and always changing. (never the same players nor the same employees/cheerleaders for that matter)
But to post this lady's picture and then write the things on the fan page. That to me is stepping over bounds.
I just don't think it is right to let that happen and that behavior should be shouted down.
Defending the defenceless is a noble cause and IMO core to our humanity.
Odd there seems to be more vitriol thrown at the lady who attack the service dog in another thread, but not a lot of empathy for this lady who happens to be a human being.
We consider the service dog as defenceless and this lady as someone who should know better or should learn to suck it up.
Is there not something disturbing to you about this?
Do you live in America? Just turn on the TV and you will see we are way past that point.
...aren't alarmed by this, but are mortified by a woman beating a dog with a metal pole.
When did we begin to value one and not the other no matter how different the two circumstances are.
Not the TV I watch, ... I guess that's why I don't watch much TV.
...I travel to the US all the time and it is a good country.
One worth fighting this kind of behavior. It doesn't have to be acceptable.
If she had posted her photo, then it's fair game to some degree. But that photo was posted on the Bears' site against her will.
At that point, the bullying began.
I'll agree to an extent, but this kind of internet behavior is still uncalled for and the people who do it occasionally end up having a tough life.
I already noted the troller Michael Brutsch, but one does not have to be so extreme to have consequences.
Most of us will be looking for a job again at some point - employers do Google applicants. If the search reveals they did stupid and crazy things, including the bile directed at this cheerleader, they mysteriously get dropped from consideration. I have no sympathy for such people.
It's called emotional intelligence - save your wrath for something real like being physically attacked.
You don't need anyone's permission to post a picture of them. If you did, the paparazzi would be out of a job.
who hasn't said that about some woman at some point in his life?