When will it happen, Mr. Jones?

Discussion in 'Fan Zone' started by GimmeTheBall!, Jan 27, 2014.

  1. GimmeTheBall!

    GimmeTheBall! Junior College Transfer

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    Mens, womans, TheraFlu takers, misfits, cubicle dwellers and visionaries:
    I was seated on my favorite lawn chair, watching the workmens finish building a culvert near my house when it occurred to me:
    Jerra half always wanted to be the ultimate "football guy." And he is not getting any younger.
    And then this ugly thought occurred to me.
    Ugly, ah tell you. Uglier than a double date with Mayra Angelou and Golda Mier at a Pistol Pete's restaurant. Uglier than Richard Sherman's usage of the englitch language. Uglier than a next year's Pro Bowl (Goodell's idea might be to suit up all owners and GMs for a flag foosball game to hike the TV ratings.)

    It can happen: Jerra as head coach of the Cowboys.

    That is what he half alwlays wanted. What would satisfy him, professionally.
    Bare with me. Because it (echo chamber) can happen.
    Imagine. Jerra would be able to make up his own plays: QB Statue of Liberty with a handoff to a fullback blocked by a wide receiver who laterals to the RB who tosses it to the QB in the end zone. Or, the center snaps the ball to the RB who in turn keeps it on an option play to a tight end. Or his favorite: A student body sweep to the middle, just like the Razorbacks would never do.

    You mens here with NO vision will scoff and say "Gimme don't know nothing!" But I say to you: THIS CAN HAPPEN. (annoying echo chamber again) Crazier things can happen. May I mention the name Campo? May I mention the name Ryan Leaf or "500 coaches could this team"?
    Now I see you all are trembling with the realization that yes, stranger things half happened and will happen.

    But all is not lost if Jerra is HC. Allow me to splain.
    1. He will half to hire a GM (which he can overrule. but still we'd half another GM)
    2. He will at last know the heartbreak of facing the cameras and the press after losing to the Falcons 54-3 ("Ah thought the student body sweep would -- after 15 times -- work. We failed and in the words of Romo, half to do better, and we will."
    3. Jerra will lose so many games we will half the No. 1 draft pick for the next 5 years and boy, won't that be a team made up of 3 1st round RBs and 2 first round receivers.
    4. Jerra will find hisself. At last he will no he is know HC or football guy.
    5. Jerra, by losing so many games, will have many tax deductions if his bill on football loses is carried in congress by our esteamed senators.

    So, accept the mystery of Jerra. When he steps up to the podium and announces he named hisself head coach, you can say, "Gimme predicted THAT and he predicted jet packs for all Texas schoolchildren!"

    Give it a chance: The thought of Jerra coaching the Dallas Cowboys. The more I think about it the more I like it for the draft picks.
    Yes, some of you will say "drugs" or "midlife vices" or "aw, he's off his rocker" or worse.
    But when it happens dont come running to me because I will be in South Oak Cliff under a presumed name and alias.

    Discuss but don't thow stones.

    [​IMG]It be lonely at the top . . .

    But not on the sidelines!
  2. TrailBlazer

    TrailBlazer Well-Known Member

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    If Jerry made himself HC, we'd go 8-8 bc JG would be his asst.
    StarBoyz83 likes this.
  3. GimmeTheBall!

    GimmeTheBall! Junior College Transfer

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    Just remember who predicted this in the year of our board 2014.
  4. Alexander

    Alexander What's it going to be then, eh?

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    It is the same thing that people talked about when Dave Campo was being hired.

    Jones would never do that since he basically can pick and choose when he pulls rank on his head coach with far less hassle.
  5. Risen Star

    Risen Star Likes Collector Zone Supporter

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    He would be stuck as the head coach. He'd never be able to fire himself.
  6. Alexander

    Alexander What's it going to be then, eh?

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    He would certainly lecture the man in the mirror each and every offseason.
  7. Ashwynn

    Ashwynn Well-Known Member

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    Oh god, kill me now.

    Might as well. Hes got his fingers so far in the pie that hes screwing over the other fingers to the detriment of our team. I dont know how Garrett can wake up every day and call himself the Coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Hes a puppet. (and I am beginning to think an "in over his head" puppet, but thats for another thread).

    I have said time and again, maybe not here, that it does not really matter who coaches, what position coaches you bring in, you are going to get 8-8 football out of this team and thats mainly based on the talent level we have in players alone.

    Jones could save a few million by axing Garrett. The other position coaches might leave, but I wager a few to most would stay and it wont be hard to find a no name college up and comer to fill a chair as OC/DC for the Dallas Cowboys.

    Man, and I think we suck right now, that might be more painful to watch then Paul Palmer playing running back for the Cowboys. (there's a trivia question for you boys fans, what year did that happen - no googling? and it did happen. I lived through it.).
  8. Wolfpack

    Wolfpack Well-Known Member

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    Love this thread. Its like watching Dr. Strangelove: how I learned to stop worrying and love the Jerrah.

    Kudos Gimmie.
  9. big dog cowboy

    big dog cowboy THE BIG DOG Staff Member

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    I hate the off season.

    Really anytime this subject comes up.
  10. mrmojo

    mrmojo Well-Known Member

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    Might as well...the old man may surprise us all. Then he would have done everything you could do in the NFL except play and all this with no previous NFL experience.....America is great aint it?
  11. coult44

    coult44 Well-Known Member

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    If you use his logic, it makes total sense!!!
  12. Fredd

    Fredd Well-Known Member

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    remove the "t" on the end and THEN you have it!
    tyke1doe likes this.
  13. Bullflop

    Bullflop Well-Known Member

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    At least, we wouldn't have to worry about Jerrah compromising himself -- he's already there!
  14. WV Cowboy

    WV Cowboy Waitin' on the 6th

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    What would the off-season be like for Jerry when Jerry makes it "uncomfortable"?
  15. tyke1doe

    tyke1doe Well-Known Member

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  16. GimmeTheBall!

    GimmeTheBall! Junior College Transfer

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    Dang, foiled again!
  17. TonyS

    TonyS Well-Known Member

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    I, as a representative of all Cowboys fans (self-proclaimed), would welcome Jerry to a 2-year contract as head coach. Terms of the contract would be that he would resign as GM immediately and if the team didn't deliver an NFC Championship and at least one playoff victory (1st round byes excluded) in those 2 years; that he would resign as HC and be forever unable to resume his GM duties.

    I think I could put up with the shame for 2 years if I knew he would be obligated to leave both positions (HC and GM)...heck I've put up with the shame of this organization this long.

    Whatdya say to my offer JerJer?
  18. dupree89

    dupree89 Well-Known Member

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    This is kind of along the same lines...at least we're talkin about Jerry Jones here.
    WFAN sports talk has tons of guests on during Super Bowl week, so I honestly cant remember which guest was on when this was talked about yesterday. But here was the discussion:

    2 specific types of owners in the NFL can really hinder a team:

    1. First, you have the Daniel Snyder-type in Washington where at least certain players know they have a clear path to the owner and can bypass the head coach and GM. This totally removes the authority that the head coach and GM have.

    2. Then you have the Jerry Jones-type who honestly believes he is the best guy to be in charge of the football decisions. Once the Jimmy Johnson-selected players disappeared from the Dallas roster, how has it worked out for the Cowboys?

    Then they gave examples of the face of a franchise...at an executive or management level.
    When you think Broncos do you think of Pat Bowlen first or John Elway? Of course its Elway.

    When you talk Seahawks, is the owner the first that comes to mind? No. Most cant even name their GM. The face of the team is Pete Carroll.

    Owners getting involved rarely will work. See washington and Dallas.
  19. GimmeTheBall!

    GimmeTheBall! Junior College Transfer

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    All kidding aside, Jerra's ascendancy to HC would be ground-breaking.
    It would set free the HC within him.

    Mens, we all half dreams. Mine is to be postmaster general or some other military higher up. His is to coach a NFL team.

    This is Jerra's.

    I would not beegrudge him that joy he wants. The adulation and the admiration and the actualization.
    If he remains healthy, I truly belief, he will one day name hisself HC.
    And wouldn't that be the top story of the NfL year.

    What, like he could do worser than other of his HCs?
  20. GimmeTheBall!

    GimmeTheBall! Junior College Transfer

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    You remain a true original in your phraseology.

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