Why Jocks can't have real jobs... Great one from Joe Theismann...

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by jksmith269, Nov 10, 2006.

  1. jksmith269

    jksmith269 Proud Navy Veteran 1990-1995

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    Subject: Why Some Jocks Can't Have Real Jobs

    Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
    "I wan'all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.

    I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

    New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked

    about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000

    or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

    And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over

    my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the

    Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

    Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,

    1996 : "Nobody in football should be called a genius.

    A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

    Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:

    "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how

    long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

    Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys

    line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys

    pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

    Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking

    up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone

    expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for

    three years, not Princeton ." (This one is clever.)

    Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why

    he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's

    so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still

    find my clothes."

    Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime

    of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at

    six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

    Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,

    explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous

    at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I

    don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

    (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in


    Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,

    'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

    He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care." ( My favorite)

    Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what

    he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to

    me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

    Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked

    by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:

    "Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."

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