My time machine date stood me up!

[Reverend Conehead]

I can make phone calls through time and also travel through time. I had a date set up with Catherine Deneuve for Paris on July 16, 1966 at this nice little cafe that used to exist. You can check out the photos of her from that time period. She was hot. However, I went through all the trouble to show up and she wasn't even there. I even did my regular travel in 1966. Big mistake. Back then they allowed for smoking on airline flights. You can be seated in non-smoking, but it doesn't make much difference. I don't know why she stood me up. I would think I would be high status, being a time traveler and all. Those goonie French actors from the 60s have nothing on me. Well, I'm bummed. Maybe I'll set up a date with Brigitte Bardot.

 

[Runwildboys]

Maybe she has a time machine too and went forward to see what you look like....and talked to your exes?

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Maybe she has a time machine too and went forward to see what you look like....and talked to your exes?

Maybe. If she talked with my exes and found out about my whipped cream and motor oil fetish, I'm done for.

 

[Runwildboys]

Maybe. If she talked with my exes and found out about my whipped cream and motor oil fetish, I'm done for.

Especially if you insist on using one of these:

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Especially if you insist on using one of these:

Man, you guys always figure me out. Yes, I insist on that with whipped cream. Must have scared her away. Crap. I was dating in the 60s so that women can't look me up online, but she found me out anyway. I can't win.

 

[timb2]

I can make phone calls through time and also travel through time. I had a date set up with Catherine Deneuve for Paris on July 16, 1966 at this nice little cafe that used to exist. You can check out the photos of her from that time period. She was hot. However, I went through all the trouble to show up and she wasn't even there. I even did my regular travel in 1966. Big mistake. Back then they allowed for smoking on airline flights. You can be seated in non-smoking, but it doesn't make much difference. I don't know why she stood me up. I would think I would be high status, being a time traveler and all. Those goonie French actors from the 60s have nothing on me. Well, I'm bummed. Maybe I'll set up a date with Brigitte Bardot.

Your real name wouldn't be D.B. Cooper flying all the time?

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Your real name wouldn't be D.B. Cooper flying all the time?

Sssssshhhhhhhhhh!

 

[cowboyec]

if you can make calls thru time...call Elvis and tell him i said...thank you.

also...dial up Coach Landry and give him a heads up and tell him to draft Joe Montana in '79...or Dan Marino in '83...his call.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

if you can make calls thru time...call Elvis and tell him i said...thank you.

also...dial up Coach Landry and give him a heads up and tell him to draft Joe Montana in '79...or Dan Marino in '83...his call.

Landry drafted Montana in the original timeline, but some dirtbag 9er fan went back in time and changed things.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Landry drafted Montana in the original timeline, but some dirtbag 9er fan went back in time and changed things.

I should clarify things. Landry drafted Montana in '79 and the Cowboys won two-straight Super Bowl Championships in '81 and '82. He also had also traded for Ronnie Lott. Then in '83, Landry drafted Marino unexpectedly even though the team was doing great under Montana. Marino was his understudy for a couple years, then Marino started when Montana got hurt and did amazing, winning us our third Super Bowl in the 80s. This ended up causing the greatest quarterback controversy in NFL history, Montana versus Marino, with Marino eventually winning out. Montana went to the Buffalo Bills and end up facing the Cowboys in Super Bowl 27. He caused a huge stir when he said to the press, "The Cowboys are just a bunch of scumbag communists. I 100 percent for sure positively guarantee without any doubts that we will win this game." And then he flipped off the camera and bent over and mooned it. He later apologized, saying that someone had put some funny shrooms in his drink. The Cowboys ended up winning 68 to 10 in the biggest route in Super Bowl history. The score could have been even higher if Leon Lett hadn't showboated and had a TD turned into a touchback from a fumble recovery.

This was a really cool timeline, which I might go back and restore, but then the whole Aikman/Irvin/Smith era would not happen. Aikman plays for the Packers in the other timeline and Brett Favre plays for the Browns. Danny White plays for the 49ers.