My Plan - How To Draft An Elite QB and win a Super Bowl

[Corso]

It's gonna be a long off season.

I'm still here... for now.

 

[J817]

After reading the comments it’s a little shocking how many posters are not understanding this thread.

 

[GMO415]

Daks the QB of this team for the next eight years.

 

[Londonboy]

I'm still here... for now.

Hang in there Bruv, Our theatre of the absurd may have discovered a new scriptwriter.

 

[Pantone282C]

Buckle up guys it's going to be a long offseason

My sides hurt from laughter!

 

[Jake]

After reading the comments it’s a little shocking how many posters are not understanding this thread.

Too many people:

 

[Pantone282C]

How to find the next Elite QB and win a Super Bowl

Year One

1. Draft a QB in the first round. Rookie contracts are great. We’ve only sunk 17 million into this guy over the next four years
2. Our pick pick is now QB1.
3. Whoever was QB1 is not QB2. Sucks to be you bro

Year Two

1. Draft a QB in the second round. Too soon to know if QB1 is going to be elite but hey, he we’re still high on him. He could turn out to be Pat Mahomes
2. Continue to start QB1. Watch QB2 on the scout team. He’s looking pretty good. Could he be the next Aaron Rodgers?
3. Might have been nice to have a new starting defensive tackle in the 2nd round but that’s ok QB2 could be elite one day

Year Three

1. QB1 was just ok in his second year but definitely showed signs of growth. Still, he hasn’t proven he’s elite and we don’t know anything about QB2 except he tears it up on the Scout Team and looks great in shorts.
2. Drafting another QB in the 1st round. Trust the Process.
   
3. Crap, we better cut or try to trade QB1 because we have to find out if QB 2 or QB3 can play.
4. Wait, you mean we still have to pay QB1 millions of dollars for two more years because he was a first round pick? No one will offer us better than a 3rd round pick? Ok, fine, we’ll take #103 overall. Hope QB2 is elite
5. QB2 is now QB1! Woohoo!
6. Wait, we have to pay lo the “new” QB2 first round contract money? Isn’t that why we dumped last years QB1?
7. Since QB2 only gets reps with the scout team and was a first round pick, we need to elevate his profile. After all, we’re paying him 6 million dollars. Let’s call his job QB1a-Scout Team Commander
8. Didn’t someone say we needed a starting top tier cornerback?

Year Four

1. Crap. The new QB1 looks like a bust in year 2. All that promise he showed on the scout team was just an illusion.
2. Gonna promote QB1a-Scout Team Commander to QB1
3. Better try to trade “last years QB1 for a 4th round pick. Either that or just bench him and Call him QB2-1st round BackUpEdition
4. Gotta stick with the plan. None of these guys are looking like Dan Marino. Better draft a QB in the third round just in casE. We’re being smart this time. Only a third rounder.
5. Hahaha, I’m a genius level GM! This new guy is going to break our scout team records. I can feel it.
6. Dang it - QB1 got sacked 23 times because we haven’t drafted a first or second round O-Lineman in years and our staring left tackle is 37 years old
7. The new, new, QB1a-Scout Team Commander Commander is clearly an Elite Scout Team player. Maybe he’s going to be Tom Brady some day. He looked good with some of his passes yesterday to Hingle McCringleberry. Should we start him for the last half of the season?
8. The new, new, new QB1 is all beat to hell and hasn’t looked like Montana quite yet

Year Five

1. We’re 4-12. Gonna have the fifth overall pick. Please let it be Elway Jr
2. Fans at Cowboys Zone are *pissed*. I think one of them is parked in that tinted out Crown Vic. I’m not sure if he’s part of the “QB1 Mob” or the “QB1aScot Team Commander Mob”. Hell, he could be a Member if the “Romo Mob” still pissed about the Dak draft
3. Got lit up on Cowboys Fan Zone today. A bunch of them want to know why we’re not trading our next three years of first round picks to move up from #5 to first overall.
4. Didd my GM homework. The highest rated QB on yhe board is D'Glester Hardunkichud. He was a test tube baby formed by a blend of DNA from Troy and Roger using eggs from Serena Williams. They grew him in a lab, some of the Cowboys Zone posters are saying that neither Troy nor Eoger were elite and that I’m just a homer trying to cash in on past glories and nostalgia
5. D'Glester Hardunkichud Is in the hizzouse! Those two future firsts were a steep price to swap the #5 for the first overall but I need to stick with The Process.
   
6. Not sure who is QB1 or QB2 anymore. Pretty sure Rowdy is now taking snaps as the QB1a-Scout Team Commander.
7. Went down to the parking lot across from Home Depot and found some guys who will worn for the minimum. Hope none of them are killed by our opponents actual NFL players

Year Six

1. "The Fan Zone has taken the Star. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes... Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The ghost of Jason Garrett moves in the dark... We cannot get out... They are coming."

Seriously, everyone. Laugh a little.
OP, you crack me up. Good stuff.

 

[InTheZone]

So are you a hater or not?

 

[Kwyn]

After reading the comments it’s a little shocking how many posters are not understanding this thread.

No doubt!

Maybe they didn’t do anyone but read the first few lines. Anyone, and I repeat *anyone*, who made it to year 5 of The Plan and didn’t get it, needs to seriously work on their sense of humor.

or maybe I do

 

[kskboys]

No doubt!

Maybe they didn’t do anyone but read the first few lines. Anyone, and I repeat *anyone*, who made it to year 5 of The Plan and didn’t get it, needs to seriously work on their sense of humor.

or maybe I do

Or just do what I do when I try to be funny. Take shots first!!!!!!!

 

[mfiggs18]

I haven't had a good laugh in awhile thank you for this.

 

[jaythecowboy]

funniest thing I have seen in a while

 

[kskboys]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the irony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the exaggeration to point out how ridiculous threads such as "Trade up to get the Lions pick" are.