Things Not to Say to a Cop or a Judge

jsb357 · Apr 1, 2020

cop... do you realize you were speeding?

me...well I was on the way to the donut shop

:muttley:

BigStar · Apr 1, 2020

From Seinfeld,

Cop: I have you clocked as going 85 mph
Jerry: Well you must've caught me as I was hitting that turn, because I was going well over 100

timb2 · Apr 1, 2020

Yo officer all these cool blue and red flashing lights .What disco club am I at right now?

timb2 · Apr 1, 2020

Sir I have you on radar going 75 miles mph No way Officier, my speedometer says I was going a good 85 mph

joseephuss · Apr 1, 2020

Aren't you the guy who is married to my girlfriend?

Ranched · Apr 1, 2020

timb2 · Apr 1, 2020

TRUE STORY
I had a buddy that was a cop he pulled over girl one time for a speeding ticket .He went back to write her the ticket, when he came back to her car. She had hiked her skirt up and showed a little more cleavage and she said" Officer I thought beautiful women didn't' get speeding tickets"? He said back "They don't, here's your ticket and you might want to pull your skirt down before you catch a cold".

Ranched · Apr 1, 2020

timb2 said:
TRUE STORY
I had a buddy that was a cop he pulled over girl one time for a speeding ticket .He went back to write her the ticket, when he came back to her car. She had hiked her skirt up and showed a little more cleavage and she said" Officer I thought beautiful women didn't' get speeding tickets"? He said back "They don't, here's your ticket and you might want to pull your skirt down before you catch a cold".

MWH1967 · Apr 1, 2020

I cant recite my ABC's backwards when I'm sober .

LittleBoyBlue · Apr 1, 2020

You guys were great in the movie police academy .... you your honor, in Night Court..... where is Bull anyways?

CF74 · Apr 1, 2020

Is that thing loaded?

CF74 · Apr 1, 2020

Cop pulls a guy over that’s speeding in a Lamborghini and asks the driver:

“You know why I pulled you over?”

Driver: Because I let you....

YosemiteSam · Apr 1, 2020

Oodgay afternoonyay officeryay , asway iyay eedingspay?

Reverend Conehead · Apr 1, 2020

When my niece was 16, a cop pulled her over for speeding. She was going significantly over the limit, probably about 30 MPH over, so the cop lectured her about the danger.
She answered that with, "Well, my daddy said that they deliberately set the speed limits way too slow and they do it just to pick on people."
Didn't go over so well.

Reverend Conehead · Apr 1, 2020

There's also Stephen Wright's joke.

Cop: Don't you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
Stephen: I know, but I'm not going to be out that long.

Ranched · Apr 1, 2020

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

Them · Apr 1, 2020

When you get pulled over, say...
"What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

timb2 · Apr 1, 2020

That's a bad call judge ! You stink ! Are you blind or something ? Just pretend you're at a sporting event.

timb2 · Apr 1, 2020

I actually did this ." Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha you gonna do when they come for you ". The officers laughed .My old work had forklift operators a lot were temps and these guys must have come from a halfway house.Cops constantly looking for someone.

Oz-of-Cowboy-Country · Apr 1, 2020

What would happen if you pointed at a cops holster and yelled "GUN" as loud as you could?

I mean it wouldn't be a lie.

Things Not to Say to a Cop or a Judge

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