DasSchnitzel
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Hello my fellow "bad fans", "loser mentalities", etc.!
Welcome to Week 11 Tank Watch!
This is not the place for you dreamers, sensitive ones, or division champ celebrators. This thread is for those of us actively hoping to lose every remaining game, because you know what's more fun than getting roflstomped by a wildcard team? Watching the front office decide which top talent's career we're gonna waste next! So if you wanna argue the morality or ethics or whatever overblown mess you've created, there's a thread for that, and it ain't this one, bub.
Currently we're picking 4th.
Washington, also at 2-7, slipped in front of us with a SOS of .470 to our .473.
We got a few!
CIN (2-6-1) AT WASH (2-7)
Obviously we want a WASH win here but a CIN win isn't awful, just a little more insurance on that top 5 pick. I think WASH wins it for us at home.
NYJ (0-9) AT LAC (2-7)
Honestly NYJ needs to win at least 2 for the first overall to be in play and that just doesn't seem likely. LAC on the other hand is .034 SOS points from moving ahead of us. Personally I'm giving up on #1 overall and hoping/predicting LAC gets the win.
NE (4-5) AT HOU (2-7)
We've got a sizable .089 SOS lead on HOU (their SOS is currently ranked 3rd, in fact) but some extra insurance in the win column would be nice. Unfortunately they can't stop the run and the Hoodie is gonna blast em by committee. I think NE gets the win here.
PIT (9-0) AT JAX (1-8)
I know you're not convinced here, and neither am I, but PIT sure looked beatable against us and JAX looked alright against GB. Maybe, very doubtful, and so I can't pick this upset and take myself seriously. I'm only mentioning it because JAX is the only other team ahead of us that I haven't discussed yet.
Finally, our game:
DAL (2-7) AT MIN (4-5)
Personally I will be shocked if we are disappointed. Here's a stat for you:
Rushing yards/game given up this year:
32: HOU, 167
31: DAL, 157
30: DET, 141
Cook just put up over 200 rushing yards on DET, who's giving up 16 fewer per game than DAL. That margin would be a lot bigger if Detroit didn't just get Cooked to well done status. I don’t care if Dallas has played better on defense recently, I'm not convinced enough yet to pick this run defense against the bad man in purple with 33 on his chest.
I'll be surprised if Cook gets less than 175 on the ground and less than 200 all purpose, and that's gonna carry MIN to the win, 31-13.
Predicted tank status by end of week 11: Pick 3
Putting it altogether, I think we see CIN stay a half game ahead, WASH and LAC climb a game ahead, JAX, NYJ, and HOU stay put. That would make DAL and HOU the only 2-8 teams, with HOU way above DAL in SOS, and we'd be looking alright to stay in the top 3 as long as we don't do the unthinkable and actually win like a respectable franchise down the road.
Remember: JUST LOSE, BABY!
Tanker Das OUT.
Welcome to Week 11 Tank Watch!
This is not the place for you dreamers, sensitive ones, or division champ celebrators. This thread is for those of us actively hoping to lose every remaining game, because you know what's more fun than getting roflstomped by a wildcard team? Watching the front office decide which top talent's career we're gonna waste next! So if you wanna argue the morality or ethics or whatever overblown mess you've created, there's a thread for that, and it ain't this one, bub.
Currently we're picking 4th.
Washington, also at 2-7, slipped in front of us with a SOS of .470 to our .473.
- NYJ
- JAX
- WASH
- AMERICA'S TEAM **** YEAH
- LAC
- MIA, via HOU
- CIN
- NYG
- CAR
- ATL
We got a few!
CIN (2-6-1) AT WASH (2-7)
Obviously we want a WASH win here but a CIN win isn't awful, just a little more insurance on that top 5 pick. I think WASH wins it for us at home.
NYJ (0-9) AT LAC (2-7)
Honestly NYJ needs to win at least 2 for the first overall to be in play and that just doesn't seem likely. LAC on the other hand is .034 SOS points from moving ahead of us. Personally I'm giving up on #1 overall and hoping/predicting LAC gets the win.
NE (4-5) AT HOU (2-7)
We've got a sizable .089 SOS lead on HOU (their SOS is currently ranked 3rd, in fact) but some extra insurance in the win column would be nice. Unfortunately they can't stop the run and the Hoodie is gonna blast em by committee. I think NE gets the win here.
PIT (9-0) AT JAX (1-8)
I know you're not convinced here, and neither am I, but PIT sure looked beatable against us and JAX looked alright against GB. Maybe, very doubtful, and so I can't pick this upset and take myself seriously. I'm only mentioning it because JAX is the only other team ahead of us that I haven't discussed yet.
Finally, our game:
DAL (2-7) AT MIN (4-5)
Personally I will be shocked if we are disappointed. Here's a stat for you:
Rushing yards/game given up this year:
32: HOU, 167
31: DAL, 157
30: DET, 141
Cook just put up over 200 rushing yards on DET, who's giving up 16 fewer per game than DAL. That margin would be a lot bigger if Detroit didn't just get Cooked to well done status. I don’t care if Dallas has played better on defense recently, I'm not convinced enough yet to pick this run defense against the bad man in purple with 33 on his chest.
I'll be surprised if Cook gets less than 175 on the ground and less than 200 all purpose, and that's gonna carry MIN to the win, 31-13.
Predicted tank status by end of week 11: Pick 3
Putting it altogether, I think we see CIN stay a half game ahead, WASH and LAC climb a game ahead, JAX, NYJ, and HOU stay put. That would make DAL and HOU the only 2-8 teams, with HOU way above DAL in SOS, and we'd be looking alright to stay in the top 3 as long as we don't do the unthinkable and actually win like a respectable franchise down the road.
Remember: JUST LOSE, BABY!
Tanker Das OUT.
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