Humor: Predicting Jerry’s “State of the Cowboys” speech

• Jerry will break his own Guinness world record of how many times a man can say “uh” in one statement with the stunning record of 21 in one sentence.
• Jerry will also use the term “relative to” at least 10 times in the presser.
• Jerry will be wearing his “coaching gear”, including his coaches hat, coaches polo...everything except the whistle.
• Jerry will say “We’ve had one of the best offseasons we’ve ever had.”
• There will be at least 3 famous “Jerry winks”.
• There will be some crazy animal analogy such as “lower than a cricket’s butt”. Or an oil reference like “Glory ****”
• Stephen will make slightly more sense but may throw in some strange Jones-ism like he did in 2014 with the “secret sauce” reference.
• The head coach of the Dallas Cowboys will have the least to say about the upcoming season.
• At the end of the press conference, most of us will not know much more than what we knew the day before the press conference.

408Cowboy said:

You've actually counted the times he's said "uh" in each statement?

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Reality said:

Years ago someone suggested a drinking game every time he said "uh" ... traffic dropped by 50% on the site the next day, so we don't do that any more

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408Cowboy said:

You've actually counted the times he's said "uh" in each statement?

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IndianaCowboys1994 said:

He will say we have the right guys.
He will also mention how great Belichick thinks Garrett is.

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cowboyblue22 said:

sounds like u got it down pretty pat that's pretty much why I wont watch

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StoneyBurk said:

He will say "in my mind" and "not to sound trite" a few times as well

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Buttermaker said:

He's gonna blindside us with old home movies of his kids.

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Bobhaze said:

Every year before training camp commences, we Cowboys fans are treated to about an hour long press conference with Jerry and Stephen Jones along with Coach Garrett regarding expectations for the upcoming season. It’s often been called the “State of the Cowboys” speech or some such.

Having watched this event countless times, I would like to make some fun predictions on what Jerry will say or do in his annual upcoming press conference to open training camp:

• Jerry will break his own Guinness world record of how many times a man can say “uh” in one statement with the stunning record of 21 in one sentence.
• Jerry will also use the term “relative to” at least 10 times in the presser.
• Jerry will be wearing his “coaching gear”, including his coaches hat, coaches polo...everything except the whistle.
• Jerry will say “We’ve had one of the best offseasons we’ve ever had.”
• There will be at least 3 famous “Jerry winks”.
• There will be some crazy animal analogy such as “lower than a cricket’s butt”. Or an oil reference like “Glory ****”
• Stephen will make slightly more sense but may throw in some strange Jones-ism like he did in 2014 with the “secret sauce” reference.
• The head coach of the Dallas Cowboys will have the least to say about the upcoming season.
• At the end of the press conference, most of us will not know much more than what we knew the day before the press conference.

So what about you my fellow Cowboys fans- what else will Jerry, Stephen and Garrett do at the upcoming press conference? Other predictions?

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Idgit said:

I was told there would be humor.

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Bobhaze said:

“Tough crowd here tonight. I tell ya I don’t get no respect...Yeah...let me tell ya- my wife can’t cook at all...in fact at my house, we pray AFTER we eat!”

Ba-da-boom.

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Reality said:

Years ago someone suggested a drinking game every time he said "uh" ... traffic dropped by 50% on the site the next day, so we don't do that any more

Click to expand...