I might go off to fight dragons in France

Reverend Conehead

Reverend Conehead

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I've been having online conversations with the Queen of France, some chick named Marie Antoinette, and she says they keep having problems of these dragons attacking their castles there. She said she thinks some good ol' fighting spirit of an American cowboy might be able to help. I have a Colt .45, but I didn't have the heart to tell her I've never actually been in a gunfight. Still, she's offered me a lot of money to go over to France and fight against their dragons there. It's really hard to say no to. Plus, she'll give me a royalty title if I kill at least 5 dragons. I'll be known as "Le duc de Lille" or "The Duke of Lille" in English. What do you think? Should I do it?
 
nobody

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Reverend Conehead said:
I've been having online conversations with the Queen of France, some chick named Marie Antoinette, and she says they keep having problems of these dragons attacking their castles there. She said she thinks some good ol' fighting spirit of an American cowboy might be able to help. I have a Colt .45, but I didn't have the heart to tell her I've never actually been in a gunfight. Still, she's offered me a lot of money to go over to France and fight against their dragons there. It's really hard to say no to. Plus, she'll give me a royalty title if I kill at least 5 dragons. I'll be known as "Le duc de Lille" or "The Duke of Lille" in English. What do you think? Should I do it?
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Hold out for her to offer you your weight in gold and a beautiful maiden's hand in marriage.
 
Oz-of-Cowboy-Country

Oz-of-Cowboy-Country

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What the Queen of France isn't telling you is that she was raped by a dragon 600 years ago. Causing their DNA to cross mutate. And that's why the dragons are only attacking her castle. They are trying to kill her daughter who is a human/dragon abomination. So if I were you I'd go there under the cloak of a hero and kill her daughter. That'll put an end to the whole situation. Then the dragons will just go back to living in the Mariana trench.
 
Reverend Conehead

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Thanks for the replies. Now I know a lot more about the situation. Sounds like I need to be very careful. Just one more question. If this Marie Antoinette lady comes onto me, is it safe to enjoy a night with her? Or would that put my life in danger?
 
darthseinfeld

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Reverend Conehead said:
Thanks for the replies. Now I know a lot more about the situation. Sounds like I need to be very careful. Just one more question. If this Marie Antoinette lady comes onto me, is it safe to enjoy a night with her? Or would that put my life in danger?
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Are we talking Kirsten Dunst Marie Antoinette?
 
darthseinfeld

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Reverend Conehead said:
Thanks for the replies. Now I know a lot more about the situation. Sounds like I need to be very careful. Just one more question. If this Marie Antoinette lady comes onto me, is it safe to enjoy a night with her? Or would that put my life in danger?
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Im pretty sure Ben Franklin hit it with no consequences. If that's true, then he probably gave her syphilis.
 
cowboyec

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bring Elvis back when you come....and Coach Landry.
:thumbup:PLEASE AND THANK YOU:thumbup:
 
Reverend Conehead

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cowboyec said:
bring Elvis back when you come....and Coach Landry.
:thumbup:PLEASE AND THANK YOU:thumbup:
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Elvis isn't in Europe. He faked his own death and is living as a Buddhist monk in Tibet. Coach Landry faked his own death and is now a Pop Warner football coach in West Texas.
 
DallasEast

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Meanwhile, Marie and Hiccup have been texting each other. He has almost talked her into the idea of training her dragons. Better take her offer now before it is too late.
 
nobody

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Runwildboys said:
And did she ask for his social?
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hahaha..so I got a voicemail on my phone today... a robo call from the "Federal Crime Department" about my social security number (that wasn't stated in the message) being involved in a crime.

lol. Why do these criminals not even research the names of real agencies to use in their scams?
 

Chrispierce

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No offense Reverend,but I think you already have. It’s ok,I’m in the other hemisphere fighting my own shadow,and damned if he’s not kicking my rear in the little jerk.
 
csirl

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Reverend Conehead said:
I've been having online conversations with the Queen of France, some chick named Marie Antoinette, and she says they keep having problems of these dragons attacking their castles there. She said she thinks some good ol' fighting spirit of an American cowboy might be able to help. I have a Colt .45, but I didn't have the heart to tell her I've never actually been in a gunfight. Still, she's offered me a lot of money to go over to France and fight against their dragons there. It's really hard to say no to. Plus, she'll give me a royalty title if I kill at least 5 dragons. I'll be known as "Le duc de Lille" or "The Duke of Lille" in English. What do you think? Should I do it?
Click to expand...

Lille is a run down rust belt town with bad weather - ask to be the Duke of somewhere nice, like Nice.
 
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