ultron
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The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team. Forget that game - Here's my expert analysis:
QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.
HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.
WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.
TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.
OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.
Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).
Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).
I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.
Go Cowboys.
QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.
HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.
WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.
TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.
OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.
Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).
Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).
I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.
Go Cowboys.
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