Hostile
The Duke
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I have always admired Yakuza Rich and dbair1967's post game thoughts threads. I always wanted to do one and call it "A Touch of Hostility" but I just never seem to find the time. There's too much turmoil after every game.
Forgive the rant I am about to go on. I hope that you will see the attempts at humor mixed with the rant.
First off to Wade Phillips. I put the lion's share of the blame right at your feet fat man. Why given the fact you are only part of the upper crust who is developing this team? Because the part of the crust you are in charge of is sucking like a Hoover vacuum. I have never seen you naked Wade (no, I don't want to) so I have no proof whatsoever that you are a man. I have my doubts because you do not have any balls. None, zero, zip, nada.
I would blame your father for that, but I happen to respect him quite a bit. I refrain from calling him in Goliad and urging him to drive to Irving to whip your *** like he promised to do when you were a lad. You need something similar so you quit acting like a snot nosed punk whose feelings are hurt. If you can't figure out what is wrong get out of the way.
Your coaching staff are not getting the job done and it is directly proportional to your attitude about the job at hand. Where is your sense of urgency? The weekly jellyfish press conferences where you whine about a lack of respect are tired. Open up your Sears catalog and order a spine. You ought to shop for your coaching attire from this section of the Cowboys Pro Shop.
Link to Wade's new Wardrobe section.
Better yet, how about you try walking in your daddy's boots and kick a little lazy ***? You can start with your right hand man at Defensive Coordinator. He was your hand picked choice to come here and assist you. Quit holding his hand and demand he earn his paycheck. Right now he's nothing but a damned thief. He may be great on Madden, but he sucks on Sundays.
When you get done with him you might want to kick your Special Teams Coach right in the ***. Be careful not to hit his head which is lodged up there. On second that that might help Bruce "Lloyd Christmas" Read so go ahead. I hope the Limo driver industry isn't hurting as bad as some others are so he can return to what he does best, falling off the jetway. Either get a jaws of life to remove his head from that dark, smelly place, or have a window installed in his stomach so he can at least see where he is going.
Cowboys fans have grown to hate ESPN and their endless desire to point out every flaw in Dallas. Know why we hate them right now Wade? Because they are right. Your friggin' ineptitude is making Skip Bayless look like a genius. Do you have any grasp of how hard that task actually is? You are transforming a complete moron into someone people should pay attention to. That is a stupid goal. Mission accomplished.
Jerry Jones, I have a word to you about "Hard Knocks." Instead of primping for the cameras how about you apply some hard knocks upside the melons of your employees? Okay, so you went in the locker room and yelled. Big friggin' deal. That and 3 bucks will buy you a coffee at Starbucks. Why don't you reach over and pimp slap your Head Coach and let him know you're pissed off that his tricks aren't paying off.
I never have liked Brad Johnson's signing. I so wanted Tony Romo to gut it out and play yesterday. That is until I saw the footage of his wobbly passes. Still, those ducks would have to be better than the rainbows and lollipops I saw yesterday from that noddle armed dinosaur. Get me a playbook Jerry. I guaran-friggin-tee you I can make better throws than that piece of crap you had out there yesterday.
If Tony Can't go please use Brooks Bollinger. I don't like him either, but at least the ball might actually arrive on time. If those passes yesterday had any more air under them you could attach a gondola and give hot air balloon rides. Tony doesn't have the strongest arm I have ever seen, but he can throw it underhand with more velocity than those snails had. I was actually hoping the guy would get hurt. I don't do that. That is how bad it was.
I have seen more heart in a watermelon than I saw on the field yesterday from a vast majority of the starters. If they can't step up and do their jobs bench them and put the backups in. I don't care if everyone and their Dutch uncle on this forum hates Bobby Carpenter. Give him a shot if Bradie James can't play any better than that. Same goes for every guy out there drawing a paycheck. They act like they are on Government welfare and are waiting for this month's cheese.
If we can't have 53 guys with pride, if we can't have 45 active guys with pride, just give us 22 guys with pride. Put 11 starters on both sides of the ball who take this crap personal. 1 game over .500 is not acceptable. Sorry if that hurts your lace panties feelings but it just isn't.
Look I know we have a beat up team right now. The problem is you let a bunch of panty wastes like the Cardinals, Commanders, and Rams beat you up. Hell, you let the winless Bengals pound on you. Great teams overcome injuries. They do it by showing heart. If you need to know what that is peel an artichoke.
Forgive the rant I am about to go on. I hope that you will see the attempts at humor mixed with the rant.
First off to Wade Phillips. I put the lion's share of the blame right at your feet fat man. Why given the fact you are only part of the upper crust who is developing this team? Because the part of the crust you are in charge of is sucking like a Hoover vacuum. I have never seen you naked Wade (no, I don't want to) so I have no proof whatsoever that you are a man. I have my doubts because you do not have any balls. None, zero, zip, nada.
I would blame your father for that, but I happen to respect him quite a bit. I refrain from calling him in Goliad and urging him to drive to Irving to whip your *** like he promised to do when you were a lad. You need something similar so you quit acting like a snot nosed punk whose feelings are hurt. If you can't figure out what is wrong get out of the way.
Your coaching staff are not getting the job done and it is directly proportional to your attitude about the job at hand. Where is your sense of urgency? The weekly jellyfish press conferences where you whine about a lack of respect are tired. Open up your Sears catalog and order a spine. You ought to shop for your coaching attire from this section of the Cowboys Pro Shop.
Link to Wade's new Wardrobe section.
Better yet, how about you try walking in your daddy's boots and kick a little lazy ***? You can start with your right hand man at Defensive Coordinator. He was your hand picked choice to come here and assist you. Quit holding his hand and demand he earn his paycheck. Right now he's nothing but a damned thief. He may be great on Madden, but he sucks on Sundays.
When you get done with him you might want to kick your Special Teams Coach right in the ***. Be careful not to hit his head which is lodged up there. On second that that might help Bruce "Lloyd Christmas" Read so go ahead. I hope the Limo driver industry isn't hurting as bad as some others are so he can return to what he does best, falling off the jetway. Either get a jaws of life to remove his head from that dark, smelly place, or have a window installed in his stomach so he can at least see where he is going.
Cowboys fans have grown to hate ESPN and their endless desire to point out every flaw in Dallas. Know why we hate them right now Wade? Because they are right. Your friggin' ineptitude is making Skip Bayless look like a genius. Do you have any grasp of how hard that task actually is? You are transforming a complete moron into someone people should pay attention to. That is a stupid goal. Mission accomplished.
Jerry Jones, I have a word to you about "Hard Knocks." Instead of primping for the cameras how about you apply some hard knocks upside the melons of your employees? Okay, so you went in the locker room and yelled. Big friggin' deal. That and 3 bucks will buy you a coffee at Starbucks. Why don't you reach over and pimp slap your Head Coach and let him know you're pissed off that his tricks aren't paying off.
I never have liked Brad Johnson's signing. I so wanted Tony Romo to gut it out and play yesterday. That is until I saw the footage of his wobbly passes. Still, those ducks would have to be better than the rainbows and lollipops I saw yesterday from that noddle armed dinosaur. Get me a playbook Jerry. I guaran-friggin-tee you I can make better throws than that piece of crap you had out there yesterday.
If Tony Can't go please use Brooks Bollinger. I don't like him either, but at least the ball might actually arrive on time. If those passes yesterday had any more air under them you could attach a gondola and give hot air balloon rides. Tony doesn't have the strongest arm I have ever seen, but he can throw it underhand with more velocity than those snails had. I was actually hoping the guy would get hurt. I don't do that. That is how bad it was.
I have seen more heart in a watermelon than I saw on the field yesterday from a vast majority of the starters. If they can't step up and do their jobs bench them and put the backups in. I don't care if everyone and their Dutch uncle on this forum hates Bobby Carpenter. Give him a shot if Bradie James can't play any better than that. Same goes for every guy out there drawing a paycheck. They act like they are on Government welfare and are waiting for this month's cheese.
If we can't have 53 guys with pride, if we can't have 45 active guys with pride, just give us 22 guys with pride. Put 11 starters on both sides of the ball who take this crap personal. 1 game over .500 is not acceptable. Sorry if that hurts your lace panties feelings but it just isn't.
Look I know we have a beat up team right now. The problem is you let a bunch of panty wastes like the Cardinals, Commanders, and Rams beat you up. Hell, you let the winless Bengals pound on you. Great teams overcome injuries. They do it by showing heart. If you need to know what that is peel an artichoke.
