Contract requirements of rock stars, politicians and more at each appearance.

[TruBlueCowboy]

Bruce Springsteen

Time to take a trip backstage with Bruce Springsteen and his E Street Band confederates. Below you'll find entertaining excerpts from the band's 2002-3 tour rider detailing the group's concert requirements--from a guitar security guard (don't want anyone to pinch Bruce's Fender Esquire) to sax player Clarence Clemons's need for a whole roasted chicken to be delivered, mid-concert, to his dressing room. We also love how Bruce stocks his private dressing room (wife Patti Scialfa has her own backstage digs) with soy milk, green tea, various protein and energy supplements--and all that crappy finger food for his kids. Finally, a memo to the Big Man: Clarence, the Beluga caviar and Carr's water crackers kinda fly in the face of the band's working class image. (8 pages)

Dick Cheney

MARCH 23--After posting the performance contracts of artists like Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, and U2, The Smoking Gun has finally obtained the backstage demands of a real rock star. That's right, below you'll find a copy of Vice President Dick Cheney's standard "tour" rider. The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol's "Downtime Suite" needs to be outfitted. While the vice president's requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite. And when Cheney is traveling with his wife Lynne, the second family's suite needs an additional two bottles of sparkling water. Mrs. Cheney's H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers. The document, prepared by the vice president's advance team, was obtained by TSG after it was provided to a hotel employee prior to a Cheney visit. When we asked Cheney spokesperson Jenny Mayfield about the document's reference to gifts that hotels might leave in the suite for the vice president, she told us she was unable to address that question since she had not seen the "downtime requirements" rider (she asked for a copy, which we declined to provide in advance of its publication here). At our source's request, we've blacked out the handwritten name and Washington, D.C. phone number of a Cheney staffer. As for the notations regarding extra lamps, specific newspapers, and a carafe, it is unclear whether they were added by an advance team staffer or a hotel official. (1 page)

Rolling Stones

JANUARY 17--While aware that members of the aging Rolling Stones were no longer shooting heroin and gallivanting with groupies before a concert, we were still crushed to learn that Mick Jagger passes his pre-gig time watching cricket on satellite TV. That's one of the more amusing requirements found in the group's concert rider for their ongoing "A Bigger Bang" world tour (an excerpt from the Stones rider can be found below). Jagger and his bandmates (Keith Richards, Ron Wood, and Charlie Watts) each get their own dressing room, which carry cute names like "Cotton Club" (Watts) and "Recovery" (Wood). But Keith's room, of course, has the best handle: "Camp X-Ray," an apparent reference to the similarly named Guantanamo Bay detention facility. When it comes to flowers, Mick declines an infusion of color in his dressing room, though Keith and Ronnie each opt for a $45 "medium white Casablanca lilly arrangement with weeping eucalyptus" to mask the vomit smell. Mick, however, does demand the construction of a small "running area" that needs to be shielded off by drapes. And, as with previous tours, the Stones are again carrying their own snooker table, which is set up in its own backstage room. So when the group arrives in Detroit next month to perform at the Super Bowl XL halftime show, don't expect Jagger to be watching the first half of the Broncos-Panthers game. He'll likely be enjoying the first inning of a match between the Essex Eagles and the Kent Spitfires. (8 pages)

Ruben Studdard

Ruben Studdard has his own idol. Colonel Sanders. Each night on tour, the 2003 "American Idol" winner has the chicken giant's "large bucket" waiting in his dressing room. And what better way to wash down a pile of fried poultry than with a dozen Miller long necks, a bottle of Moet, and a fifth of tequila. The large fruit tray must be for dessert. (3 pages)

James Brown

A five-star hotel, a hooded hair dryer, and an oxygen tank--it's all de rigeur for the Godfather of Soul. But we were a bit surprised to see that James needs a special room for his mistress--the wardrobe mistress, that is. (4 pages)

Shania Twain

Until we obtained her rider, TSG had not been a big Shania Twain fan. But then we read about her security dog and those K9 bomb sweeps. Then we learned about her devotion to both Silken Style Soft tofu and Orange cheese popcorn. Not to mention her juicing habits (which were even more extreme--10 pounds of carrots!--during her 1998 tour). And how Shania stays so slinky while polishing off two dozen pre-show cookies is a mystery to us. But the one thing in Twain's rider that dampens our enthusiasm for the Canadian songbird is the paltry spread she offers in the dressing room set up for the local choir performing with her that night. Twelve lousy cans of soda and some spring water for 18 performers? Hey, Shania: How about

Christina Aguilera

This Christina Aguilera is TSG's kind of girl. How can't you love someone who demands a police escort because she just can't bother to "encounter any delays due to traffic." And you gotta salute the young gal for her heartfelt concern for the state of the environment. But our favorite part of Aguilera's contract rider is her massive (and highly entertaining) list of items required for her dressing room. Soy cheese and Oreos. Flintstones chewables and votive candles. Nesquick and dried cranberries. Not to mention an organic smorgasboard that would make Sir Paul McCartney proud. All this healthy stuff for a singer who admits her favorite meal is a Wendy's Big Bacon Classic, and whose own manager calls her a "fast food queen." Apparently what a girl wants/needs is just about everything. (4 pages)

Busta Rhymes

Busta sure knows the key ingredients needed for some backstage fun:

1) Moet champagne.
2) A bucket of KFC.
3) Ribbed condoms.

Let the fun begin! (2 pages)

Carrot Top

Careful attention to pyrotechnic detail leads us to conclude that Carrot Top's red mane is, indeed, more flammable than the average head of hair. And why is it that his request for a female masseuse makes our skin crawl? But the highlight of the comic's rider is the prohibition on one particular dessert: "Please No Carrot Cake--It's Still Not Funny!" (5 pages)

More at:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html

 

[joseephuss]

I remember hearing a theory on the Van Halen brown M&M requirement. The requirement seems small and inconsiquential, but it is easily verified. You look at the bowl and see no brown M&Ms and you know the other side read the entire contract. It gives the band confidence that all their other more important requirements reqgarding money are met. Just a theory I heard listening to the radio years ago.

 

[Mavs Man]

I thought the brown M&M gag was just something from Wayne's World 2.

 

[Yeagermeister]

I remember hearing a theory on the Van Halen brown M&M requirement. The requirement seems small and inconsiquential, but it is easily verified. You look at the bowl and see no brown M&Ms and you know the other side read the entire contract. It gives the band confidence that all their other more important requirements reqgarding money are met. Just a theory I heard listening to the radio years ago.

The way I heard it they wanted all green m&m's but it was just a way of making sure they paid attention to detail.

 

[TruBlueCowboy]

The way I heard it they wanted all green m&m's but it was just a way of making sure they paid attention to detail.

From the same site:

Van Halen

While Van Halen no longer asks to have the brown M&Ms removed from the backstage candy bowl (they now seem to prefer peanut butter cups), the group's booze list remains a thing to behold--from tequila ("the best you've got!") to Jack Daniel's (Black Label) to Bacardi Anejo rum. And that backstage celery ("to be trimmed, but not peeled") seems to serve a dual purpose--as an ingredient for organic vegetable juice drinks and as a Bloody Mary component. (4 pages)

 

[superpunk]

LMAO at Dick and Fox News....that's a riot.