- Messages
- 79,281
- Reaction score
- 45,652
Mike Tanier
FootballOutsiders.com, Updated 15 hours ago STORY TOOLS:
There's an insect sitting on my shoulder. He has a top hat and an umbrella. He appears to be a member of species Gryllidae Gryllinae: the common cricket.
He says his name is Jiminy. Last name is "Cricket."
JIMINY: I am your conscience.
RUNDOWN: No wonder you look so darned small and malnourished.
JIMINY: Never use illegal videotape to gain a competitive edge.
RUNDOWN: Lesson learned, my six-legged compadre. Those cameras have been shut off and dismantled.
JIMINY: Don't sign Derek Anderson in your fantasy league. Last week was a fluke.
RUNDOWN: So, are you supposed to be my conscience or Captain Obvious?
JIMINY: Don't be so hard on the Texans. They are 2-0. They have a good coach and an exciting young defense. Matt Schaub is the real deal.
RUNDOWN: Your legs are moving, kid, but I don't hear anything. Rundown has been around since before you were hatched. Lots of teams start out 2-0 and then fade. Let's see how the Texans fare against a great team. Maybe then I will give them some props.
JIMINY: You'll get your chance this week. The Colts have all sorts of trouble against division foes on the road. They can't handle what the Texans bring to the table.
RUNDOWN: And you can't handle what my friend Chuck Taylor, All-Star sneaker, will do to your segmented exoskeleton. Wish upon this star, shorty!
JIMINY: I regret nothing!
(Splat.)
Games worth watching
Cowboys at Bears: Wham! Pow! Kazaam! The Cowboys offense is so good that it needs Batman sound effects. The Bears have their own sound effects: Devin Hester goes "Whoosh," the defense goes "Crunch," and the offense goes "thpppt."
Yes, Rundown is harping on Grossman and the Bears offense again. The Bears netted just 104 passing yards against the Chiefs, and Grossman threw two picks to go with his first touchdown of the season. The offense produced one good drive all game. The Bears rode their "Hester, defense, and prayers" attack to the Super Bowl last year, but it won't work twice in a row. The division has gotten tougher. The schedule offers few respites. Opponents are wise to Grossman's legion of shortcomings.
The Cowboys offense is good enough to put up 24 points against the Bears defense. Can the Bears score 24 points? Only if Hester does his cape-and-phone booth routine yet again. Look for the Cowboys to emerge from Soldier Field with a 3-0 record, then brace for Tony Romo's picture on every magazine cover.
Colts at Texans The Texans have a young defensive nucleus in place: cornerback Dunta Robinson, end Mario Williams, star linebacker DeMeco Ryans and rookie tackle Amobi Okoye.
Ryans picked up where he left off last season with 16 tackles in two games. Williams had two sacks against the Chiefs. Okoye, who will be of legal drinking age next June, had two sacks in the eye-opening rout of the Panthers. Robinson has two interceptions. And the Texans offense now has that Broncos South look that we expected when Gary Kubiak took over: cutback running, efficient passing, ample scoring.
So the Texans are off the scrap heap. They're not bad. But they aren't great. It's a little premature to give their defense a catchy nickname ("Raging Bull Defense," the Houston Chronicle's John McClain suggests). It's too soon to write sonnets to the glory of Matt Schaub ("Our quarterback is phenomenal," Ephraim Salaam said). It's too soon to talk playoffs or even a winning record in a division that features the defending champs, the unpredictable-but-dangerous Jaguars and the scrappy Titans.
The Texans beat those defending champs in Houston last season during the Colts' December "No Defense, No Worries" tour. The Texans haven't lost since. They don't have to beat the Colts to prove that they've made progress. If they play the Colts close — if Ryans and company stop the run and generate a pass rush, if Schaub can move the ball without injured receiver Andre Johnson — they'll silence some doubters.
Chargers at Packers: The Chargers' offense looks predictable, sloppy and out of sync this season. Their defense, which fared well against the Bears' spitball offense, looked undisciplined and inept against the Patriots. An inveterate Norv Turner basher would suggest that the Turner malaise is already setting in: The playbook fools no one, players are getting lax about technique, and the less motivated guys in the locker room are already starting to backslide. Such allegations would be horribly premature and irresponsible. We're going to wait at least two more weeks before saying stuff like that.
Turner's Chargers have their hands full this week. The new guy getting all the buzz in Green Bay is named DeShawn Wynn. He's a rookie running back splitting time with fellow rookie Brandon Jackson. Jackson was the higher draft pick, but Wynn can do things that Jackson cannot. Like block. And catch. And score. And generate some excitement. Jackson is still the starter, and Noah Herron still plays some, but Wynn can balance the Packers offense, making them good enough to go 10-6 and sneak away with a division title.
Wynn doesn't close the talent gap between the Packers and Chargers, whose front seven will overpower the youthful Green Bay line and harass Brett Favre into some mistakes. Still, this is your third straight chance to pick a solid Packers team and get some points — as many as 4.5 according to some early lines. Enjoy the underdog plays while you can.
Niners at Steelers: Their defense swarms. They blitz from all angles. They're aggressive, tenacious, and loaded with exciting youngsters and distinguished veterans. But enough about the 49ers.
What, you think we were talking Steelers? Yeah, their defense is still among the league's best and a thrill to watch. But the Niners put on a show, too. They attack with safety blitzes, corner blitzes, seven-man blitzes and wacky stunts that tie offensive lines into French braids. There are stars, like free agent Nate Clements and ageless Bryant Young, and there are exciting newcomers like rookie Patrick Willis. Mike Nolan's defensive game plans are bold, and the Niners are 2-0 after shutting down two offenses loaded with skill position stars.
The Niners defense is just a notch below Pittsburgh's acclaimed unit. But the offenses are miles apart. The Niners are still trying to get Alex Smith on track, get Darrell Jackson more involved and clear room for Frank Gore. The Steelers new offense isn't operating at full throttle just yet, but Ben Roethlisberger seems more focused than he did last year, Willie Parker is grinding out yards, and the line is playing well. Throw in the fact that the Steelers don't muff every third punt, and they've found their winning groove again.
The Steelers will win on Sunday, but that nine-point spread is an overreaction to their two blowout victories. The Niners will slow down their offense and force some turnovers. This game will be close. If you are bold, take the Niners and you'll be content with a 19-16 final score.
Rams at Bucs: Oh no. That rumble. That siren. It's started. It's rolling. Here comes the Jeff Garcia bandwagon again.
"There's some fire in the belly of this guy," wrote Roger Mooney in the Bradenton Herald. "That's what the Bucs need, a quarterback who leads by example." Mooney liked the fact that Garcia dove head first to pick up a first down. So did the head coach. "No disrespect to the previous quarterbacks we've had here, but that was the biggest play of the football game," Jon Gruden said after the game "It sends a message. I think it's a healthy, exciting change."
Yeah, coach, that last quarterback never did anything courageous to try to win. Except play with a ruptured spleen. Remember that?
Bucs defensive tackle Chris Hovan thinks that "Jeff Garcia and Joey Galloway are a very scary combination." Yep, and they are a combined 72 years of age. Barrett Ruud compared Garcia's dive to John Elway's fourth quarter scramble against the Packers in the Super Bowl. Not to get carried away or anything.
The Jeff Garcia bandwagon is a curious thing. It is built from the scrap left over from the Doug Flutie bandwagon. Garcia, a short, feisty CFL refugee like Flutie, gets credit not only for his own achievements but for somehow inspiring his teammates to further greatness. Great blocking is a testament to Garcia's charisma. Great defense is due to Garcia's no-nonsense attitude. Are the uniforms extra springtime fresh? Garcia's presence compelled the laundry guy to use extra fabric softener.
The Garcia Bandwagon nearly ran Donovan McNabb over last year. This year, Chris Simms was merely a speed bump, so the Garcia bandwagon will coast for most of the year. This week, Garcia will be able to pick apart a vulnerable Rams defense. The beatable Titans and Lions are next on the agenda. The Bucs should be 3-2 by the time defenses adjust to Garcia's Mumble the Penguin routine in the pocket. By then, Garcia will have a free pass; when he goes 12-of-25 for 160 yards and a pick, he'll be praised for being "a winner, not a numbers guy."
It's a crowded bandwagon, and it's very rickety. Climb aboard at your own peril.
Nutshells
Lions at Eagles: Jon Kitna is a changed man after suffering a brutal blow to the head against the Vikings. After a recovery that he described as "a miracle," leading the Lions to a 10-win season is small potatoes. Kitna now plans to assemble a French army and invade England. He has even started calling Matt Millen "the Dauphin." Kitna's head injury and late-game heroics are either a sign a) of extremely belated divine intervention into the Lions' plight, or b) that the NFL's concussion policy may be a wee bit too easy to circumvent.
True believers may be inclined to take the Lions and their six points on Sunday. After all, the Eagles are 0-2 and couldn't find the end zone if Sacagawea showed them the way (we're going all historic teenage girls with this capsule). But the Lions hot start probably has a lot in common with Kitna's head trauma: a few hours of euphoria, several months of headaches.
Cardinals at Ravens: The Cardinals currently start two rookies on the offensive line: first-round pick Levi Brown at right tackle and undrafted rookie Lyle Sendlein at center. Neither is picture-perfect technically, but both got the job done against the Seahawks. The Ravens defense, of course, presents a bigger challenge.
The Cardinals scaled back their game plan after their Week 1 loss to the Niners. The simpler scheme — plus extra film room time for Matt Leinart — paid off with a 299-yard effort against Seattle. "He answered the call," coach Ken Whisenhunt said. "I think Matt, in a short week after a tough game, put an extremely large amount of work in for this."
Sean Morey caught two passes and blocked a punt against the Seahawks. The Ivy League-educated Morey studied Seattle's long snapper before the game and mastered the timing of the snap.
Steve McNair will be back under center for the Ravens, but defensive end Trevor Pryce is out for about a month with a broken wrist. Dwan Edwards replaces Pryce. Don't expect the Ravens defense to miss a beat.
The Ravens were furious when Todd Heap's potential game-tying touchdown against the Bengals was called back by a ticky-tack penalty. But they were thrilled when officials reviewed a close call in the corner of the end zone before halftime, giving Heap a touchdown instead of an out-of-bounds incompletion. "It was nice," quipped Brian Billick after the game. "I love replay. It's my favorite thing. Can I have my money back now?"
This is only the fourth meeting between the Ravens and Cardinals. The Ravens lead the series 2-1, and they will make it 3-1 on Sunday. Their defense is too fast, aggressive and experienced for Arizona's young line and quarterback.
Dolphins at Jets: The Dolphins coughed up five turnovers on Sunday and allowed 37 points, their highest total since 2004. No one is happy with the team's 0-2 start. "Some of the most embarrassing stuff I've ever been a part of," Joey Porter said after the game. That means something from a guy whose dogs once killed a neighbor's horse. The Dolphins can't even count on a win against a winless Jets team with an injured quarterback. Kellen Clemens played well in relief of Chad Pennington (whose status was unclear as of this writing), and the Jets retained some cautious optimism even though their late rally fell short against the Ravens. "We just kind of got in a rhythm," tight end Chris Baker said. "We just need to start the game like that." The Jets will win this game and be in second place in the AFC East with a 1-2 record. It's not the start they wanted, but it will help them find that rhythm.
Vikings at Chiefs: Brad Childress says that Tarvaris Jackson is still his starter, assuming that Jackson can recover from the pummeling he took at the hands of the Lions. Despite Jackson's four-interception effort, Childress sees progress. "It's just a matter of him taking care of the football. I see him making a lot of good plays out there and I see him see a lot of things and get us into the right plays." Herm Edwards is sticking with Damon Huard under center in Kansas City. "I have faith in Damon," Edwards told the Kansas City Star. Faith. Visions. When your backup quarterbacks are Brooks Bollinger and Brodie Croyle, coaching can be a religious experience.
Bengals at Seahawks: The Bengals didn't mince words after last week's game debacle against the Browns. "We were terrible," Justin Smith said. "You guys were talking about how good we were the first week, and now you're going to talk about how crappy we are." The Bengals could really use a soft opponent right now to regroup. Instead, they face a Seahawks team angry for losing a game on a botched handoff, a blown coverage (Deon Grant was so pumped to stuff Edgerrin James that he forgot to cover tight end Leonard Pope), and a subpar effort by the front seven. Take the Seahawks: The Bengals could cut their points allowed in half and still lose 26-24.
Jaguars at Broncos: Jack Del Rio really sweated out last week's win against the Falcons. "Whew, we needed that big time," Del Rio said after the game. "I had a buddy call me last week, and he said 'just make sure you win baby, win.' We just had to find a way to win somehow, someway." So Del Rio's buddies quote Al Davis and offer dumb, obvious advice. We must share the same social circle. As usual, the Jaguars are a cork, bobbing up and down to match their opposition, so they will play up to the Broncos this week. Expect tons of handoffs, plenty of defense, and a game-winning Jason Elam field goal.
Browns at Raiders: A 51-point offensive performance is sure to bring out some colorful metaphors. Hey, Kellen Winslow, what do you think of Derek Anderson? "He's got a gun. He was awesome." How would you describe the Browns offense, Braylon Edwards? "The bomb definitely went off." So, Joe Jurevicius, can you describe your team's efforts without going ballistic? "Our big dogs came out today and they bit hard." Ouch. Get it out of your systems now, guys. In a week or so, when Anderson returns to earth, we'll be back to pop guns and poodles.
Titans at Saints: Surprised by the poor Saints defense? Keep in mind that their defense wasn't very good last year, either. The Saints ranked 19th in the NFL in defensive DVOA and were a smidge below average in most categories. Granted, they didn't let Joey Galloway streak untouched across the middle of the field very often. But the Saints' offensive problems are far more shocking than their defensive woes.
The Titans believe that Vince Young gives them an edge in close games. "At the end of the game, any time the ball is in Vince's hands everybody feels like we are going to win," Kyle Vanden Bosch said. "We were just waiting for something magical to happen." Maybe someone should conjure up some better receivers.
The Crescent City press was philosophical after the loss to Indy. After Sunday's loss to the Bucs, the panic button has been stomped upon. "They stink in the flat-out, no-doubt-about-it, the-season-could-rot-through-and-through kind of way," wrote John DeShazier in the New Orleans Times-Picayune.
The last time these teams met was 2003. The Titans won, 27-12. Steve McNair outdueled Aaron Brooks. Jerome Pathon led the Saints in receiving. It seems like eight trillion years ago.
Jeff Fisher's new contract will keep him in Tennessee until 2011. Pacman Jones will be reinstated and suspended at least three more times before then.
Stay away from this game. DeShazier's stink-stank-stunk analysis aside, the Saints can't be as bad as they looked against the Bucs. Let's reserve judgment until they settle down.
Bills at Patriots: As "Patriots Act" allegations and recriminations pile up, Bill Belichick looks more and more like Richard Nixon. Rundown's first impulse was to imitate Gerald Ford by pardoning him. But charges of illicit microphones and secret-frequency transmitters make that hard to do. Leaving controversial issues aside for a moment, the Patriots don't need the Stasi to tell them to keep a deep safety over Lee Evans, rush J.P. Losman from the edge so he can't scramble, and run the ball to beat the Bills. That's all we'll say on the record. Someone may be listening.
Giants at Commanders: Instead of playing out the rest of the football season, the Giants are going to film a remake of the seminal 1981 film Taps. Tom Couglin will reprise George C. Scott's role as General Bache, who dooms his cadets with an outmoded sense of bulletproof, burglar-proof, hundred proof honor. Eli Manning plays Timothy Hutton's role as Cadet Major Moreland, the loyal Bache disciple who valiantly leads the young soldiers to their tragic end. Mathias Kiwanuka plays Tom Cruise's David Shawn, who cracks under the strain and starts shooting the bejesus out of everything. The cadets defended the academy for about two hours in the film, but the Giants can't defend the end zone for more than about 10 minutes. The Commanders are all beat up on the offensive line, so the 4.5-point spread is risky, but they should prevail.
Panthers at Falcons: Our Rundown Time Machine spat out a Falcons game recap from the year 2063 on Monday morning:
"The Falcons lost to the Brunei Sultans 13-7 on Sunday at Brian Brohm Stadium in Atlanta. The Falcons could have won, but Tim Mazetti III, their 22-year old undrafted rookie kicker, missed attempts of 19 and 19.5 yards and injured quarterback Peyton Obama-Hasselbeck by accidentally tripping him on the sidelines. The Falcons signed 103-year old Morten Anderson, who has been living inside a humidor near Savannah, after the game to replace Mazetti."
Wow. Those who don't remember the past really are doomed to repeat it.
LINK
FootballOutsiders.com, Updated 15 hours ago STORY TOOLS:
There's an insect sitting on my shoulder. He has a top hat and an umbrella. He appears to be a member of species Gryllidae Gryllinae: the common cricket.
He says his name is Jiminy. Last name is "Cricket."
JIMINY: I am your conscience.
RUNDOWN: No wonder you look so darned small and malnourished.
JIMINY: Never use illegal videotape to gain a competitive edge.
RUNDOWN: Lesson learned, my six-legged compadre. Those cameras have been shut off and dismantled.
JIMINY: Don't sign Derek Anderson in your fantasy league. Last week was a fluke.
RUNDOWN: So, are you supposed to be my conscience or Captain Obvious?
JIMINY: Don't be so hard on the Texans. They are 2-0. They have a good coach and an exciting young defense. Matt Schaub is the real deal.
RUNDOWN: Your legs are moving, kid, but I don't hear anything. Rundown has been around since before you were hatched. Lots of teams start out 2-0 and then fade. Let's see how the Texans fare against a great team. Maybe then I will give them some props.
JIMINY: You'll get your chance this week. The Colts have all sorts of trouble against division foes on the road. They can't handle what the Texans bring to the table.
RUNDOWN: And you can't handle what my friend Chuck Taylor, All-Star sneaker, will do to your segmented exoskeleton. Wish upon this star, shorty!
JIMINY: I regret nothing!
(Splat.)
Games worth watching
Cowboys at Bears: Wham! Pow! Kazaam! The Cowboys offense is so good that it needs Batman sound effects. The Bears have their own sound effects: Devin Hester goes "Whoosh," the defense goes "Crunch," and the offense goes "thpppt."
Yes, Rundown is harping on Grossman and the Bears offense again. The Bears netted just 104 passing yards against the Chiefs, and Grossman threw two picks to go with his first touchdown of the season. The offense produced one good drive all game. The Bears rode their "Hester, defense, and prayers" attack to the Super Bowl last year, but it won't work twice in a row. The division has gotten tougher. The schedule offers few respites. Opponents are wise to Grossman's legion of shortcomings.
The Cowboys offense is good enough to put up 24 points against the Bears defense. Can the Bears score 24 points? Only if Hester does his cape-and-phone booth routine yet again. Look for the Cowboys to emerge from Soldier Field with a 3-0 record, then brace for Tony Romo's picture on every magazine cover.
Colts at Texans The Texans have a young defensive nucleus in place: cornerback Dunta Robinson, end Mario Williams, star linebacker DeMeco Ryans and rookie tackle Amobi Okoye.
Ryans picked up where he left off last season with 16 tackles in two games. Williams had two sacks against the Chiefs. Okoye, who will be of legal drinking age next June, had two sacks in the eye-opening rout of the Panthers. Robinson has two interceptions. And the Texans offense now has that Broncos South look that we expected when Gary Kubiak took over: cutback running, efficient passing, ample scoring.
So the Texans are off the scrap heap. They're not bad. But they aren't great. It's a little premature to give their defense a catchy nickname ("Raging Bull Defense," the Houston Chronicle's John McClain suggests). It's too soon to write sonnets to the glory of Matt Schaub ("Our quarterback is phenomenal," Ephraim Salaam said). It's too soon to talk playoffs or even a winning record in a division that features the defending champs, the unpredictable-but-dangerous Jaguars and the scrappy Titans.
The Texans beat those defending champs in Houston last season during the Colts' December "No Defense, No Worries" tour. The Texans haven't lost since. They don't have to beat the Colts to prove that they've made progress. If they play the Colts close — if Ryans and company stop the run and generate a pass rush, if Schaub can move the ball without injured receiver Andre Johnson — they'll silence some doubters.
Chargers at Packers: The Chargers' offense looks predictable, sloppy and out of sync this season. Their defense, which fared well against the Bears' spitball offense, looked undisciplined and inept against the Patriots. An inveterate Norv Turner basher would suggest that the Turner malaise is already setting in: The playbook fools no one, players are getting lax about technique, and the less motivated guys in the locker room are already starting to backslide. Such allegations would be horribly premature and irresponsible. We're going to wait at least two more weeks before saying stuff like that.
Turner's Chargers have their hands full this week. The new guy getting all the buzz in Green Bay is named DeShawn Wynn. He's a rookie running back splitting time with fellow rookie Brandon Jackson. Jackson was the higher draft pick, but Wynn can do things that Jackson cannot. Like block. And catch. And score. And generate some excitement. Jackson is still the starter, and Noah Herron still plays some, but Wynn can balance the Packers offense, making them good enough to go 10-6 and sneak away with a division title.
Wynn doesn't close the talent gap between the Packers and Chargers, whose front seven will overpower the youthful Green Bay line and harass Brett Favre into some mistakes. Still, this is your third straight chance to pick a solid Packers team and get some points — as many as 4.5 according to some early lines. Enjoy the underdog plays while you can.
Niners at Steelers: Their defense swarms. They blitz from all angles. They're aggressive, tenacious, and loaded with exciting youngsters and distinguished veterans. But enough about the 49ers.
What, you think we were talking Steelers? Yeah, their defense is still among the league's best and a thrill to watch. But the Niners put on a show, too. They attack with safety blitzes, corner blitzes, seven-man blitzes and wacky stunts that tie offensive lines into French braids. There are stars, like free agent Nate Clements and ageless Bryant Young, and there are exciting newcomers like rookie Patrick Willis. Mike Nolan's defensive game plans are bold, and the Niners are 2-0 after shutting down two offenses loaded with skill position stars.
The Niners defense is just a notch below Pittsburgh's acclaimed unit. But the offenses are miles apart. The Niners are still trying to get Alex Smith on track, get Darrell Jackson more involved and clear room for Frank Gore. The Steelers new offense isn't operating at full throttle just yet, but Ben Roethlisberger seems more focused than he did last year, Willie Parker is grinding out yards, and the line is playing well. Throw in the fact that the Steelers don't muff every third punt, and they've found their winning groove again.
The Steelers will win on Sunday, but that nine-point spread is an overreaction to their two blowout victories. The Niners will slow down their offense and force some turnovers. This game will be close. If you are bold, take the Niners and you'll be content with a 19-16 final score.
Rams at Bucs: Oh no. That rumble. That siren. It's started. It's rolling. Here comes the Jeff Garcia bandwagon again.
"There's some fire in the belly of this guy," wrote Roger Mooney in the Bradenton Herald. "That's what the Bucs need, a quarterback who leads by example." Mooney liked the fact that Garcia dove head first to pick up a first down. So did the head coach. "No disrespect to the previous quarterbacks we've had here, but that was the biggest play of the football game," Jon Gruden said after the game "It sends a message. I think it's a healthy, exciting change."
Yeah, coach, that last quarterback never did anything courageous to try to win. Except play with a ruptured spleen. Remember that?
Bucs defensive tackle Chris Hovan thinks that "Jeff Garcia and Joey Galloway are a very scary combination." Yep, and they are a combined 72 years of age. Barrett Ruud compared Garcia's dive to John Elway's fourth quarter scramble against the Packers in the Super Bowl. Not to get carried away or anything.
The Jeff Garcia bandwagon is a curious thing. It is built from the scrap left over from the Doug Flutie bandwagon. Garcia, a short, feisty CFL refugee like Flutie, gets credit not only for his own achievements but for somehow inspiring his teammates to further greatness. Great blocking is a testament to Garcia's charisma. Great defense is due to Garcia's no-nonsense attitude. Are the uniforms extra springtime fresh? Garcia's presence compelled the laundry guy to use extra fabric softener.
The Garcia Bandwagon nearly ran Donovan McNabb over last year. This year, Chris Simms was merely a speed bump, so the Garcia bandwagon will coast for most of the year. This week, Garcia will be able to pick apart a vulnerable Rams defense. The beatable Titans and Lions are next on the agenda. The Bucs should be 3-2 by the time defenses adjust to Garcia's Mumble the Penguin routine in the pocket. By then, Garcia will have a free pass; when he goes 12-of-25 for 160 yards and a pick, he'll be praised for being "a winner, not a numbers guy."
It's a crowded bandwagon, and it's very rickety. Climb aboard at your own peril.
Nutshells
Lions at Eagles: Jon Kitna is a changed man after suffering a brutal blow to the head against the Vikings. After a recovery that he described as "a miracle," leading the Lions to a 10-win season is small potatoes. Kitna now plans to assemble a French army and invade England. He has even started calling Matt Millen "the Dauphin." Kitna's head injury and late-game heroics are either a sign a) of extremely belated divine intervention into the Lions' plight, or b) that the NFL's concussion policy may be a wee bit too easy to circumvent.
True believers may be inclined to take the Lions and their six points on Sunday. After all, the Eagles are 0-2 and couldn't find the end zone if Sacagawea showed them the way (we're going all historic teenage girls with this capsule). But the Lions hot start probably has a lot in common with Kitna's head trauma: a few hours of euphoria, several months of headaches.
Cardinals at Ravens: The Cardinals currently start two rookies on the offensive line: first-round pick Levi Brown at right tackle and undrafted rookie Lyle Sendlein at center. Neither is picture-perfect technically, but both got the job done against the Seahawks. The Ravens defense, of course, presents a bigger challenge.
The Cardinals scaled back their game plan after their Week 1 loss to the Niners. The simpler scheme — plus extra film room time for Matt Leinart — paid off with a 299-yard effort against Seattle. "He answered the call," coach Ken Whisenhunt said. "I think Matt, in a short week after a tough game, put an extremely large amount of work in for this."
Sean Morey caught two passes and blocked a punt against the Seahawks. The Ivy League-educated Morey studied Seattle's long snapper before the game and mastered the timing of the snap.
Steve McNair will be back under center for the Ravens, but defensive end Trevor Pryce is out for about a month with a broken wrist. Dwan Edwards replaces Pryce. Don't expect the Ravens defense to miss a beat.
The Ravens were furious when Todd Heap's potential game-tying touchdown against the Bengals was called back by a ticky-tack penalty. But they were thrilled when officials reviewed a close call in the corner of the end zone before halftime, giving Heap a touchdown instead of an out-of-bounds incompletion. "It was nice," quipped Brian Billick after the game. "I love replay. It's my favorite thing. Can I have my money back now?"
This is only the fourth meeting between the Ravens and Cardinals. The Ravens lead the series 2-1, and they will make it 3-1 on Sunday. Their defense is too fast, aggressive and experienced for Arizona's young line and quarterback.
Dolphins at Jets: The Dolphins coughed up five turnovers on Sunday and allowed 37 points, their highest total since 2004. No one is happy with the team's 0-2 start. "Some of the most embarrassing stuff I've ever been a part of," Joey Porter said after the game. That means something from a guy whose dogs once killed a neighbor's horse. The Dolphins can't even count on a win against a winless Jets team with an injured quarterback. Kellen Clemens played well in relief of Chad Pennington (whose status was unclear as of this writing), and the Jets retained some cautious optimism even though their late rally fell short against the Ravens. "We just kind of got in a rhythm," tight end Chris Baker said. "We just need to start the game like that." The Jets will win this game and be in second place in the AFC East with a 1-2 record. It's not the start they wanted, but it will help them find that rhythm.
Vikings at Chiefs: Brad Childress says that Tarvaris Jackson is still his starter, assuming that Jackson can recover from the pummeling he took at the hands of the Lions. Despite Jackson's four-interception effort, Childress sees progress. "It's just a matter of him taking care of the football. I see him making a lot of good plays out there and I see him see a lot of things and get us into the right plays." Herm Edwards is sticking with Damon Huard under center in Kansas City. "I have faith in Damon," Edwards told the Kansas City Star. Faith. Visions. When your backup quarterbacks are Brooks Bollinger and Brodie Croyle, coaching can be a religious experience.
Bengals at Seahawks: The Bengals didn't mince words after last week's game debacle against the Browns. "We were terrible," Justin Smith said. "You guys were talking about how good we were the first week, and now you're going to talk about how crappy we are." The Bengals could really use a soft opponent right now to regroup. Instead, they face a Seahawks team angry for losing a game on a botched handoff, a blown coverage (Deon Grant was so pumped to stuff Edgerrin James that he forgot to cover tight end Leonard Pope), and a subpar effort by the front seven. Take the Seahawks: The Bengals could cut their points allowed in half and still lose 26-24.
Jaguars at Broncos: Jack Del Rio really sweated out last week's win against the Falcons. "Whew, we needed that big time," Del Rio said after the game. "I had a buddy call me last week, and he said 'just make sure you win baby, win.' We just had to find a way to win somehow, someway." So Del Rio's buddies quote Al Davis and offer dumb, obvious advice. We must share the same social circle. As usual, the Jaguars are a cork, bobbing up and down to match their opposition, so they will play up to the Broncos this week. Expect tons of handoffs, plenty of defense, and a game-winning Jason Elam field goal.
Browns at Raiders: A 51-point offensive performance is sure to bring out some colorful metaphors. Hey, Kellen Winslow, what do you think of Derek Anderson? "He's got a gun. He was awesome." How would you describe the Browns offense, Braylon Edwards? "The bomb definitely went off." So, Joe Jurevicius, can you describe your team's efforts without going ballistic? "Our big dogs came out today and they bit hard." Ouch. Get it out of your systems now, guys. In a week or so, when Anderson returns to earth, we'll be back to pop guns and poodles.
Titans at Saints: Surprised by the poor Saints defense? Keep in mind that their defense wasn't very good last year, either. The Saints ranked 19th in the NFL in defensive DVOA and were a smidge below average in most categories. Granted, they didn't let Joey Galloway streak untouched across the middle of the field very often. But the Saints' offensive problems are far more shocking than their defensive woes.
The Titans believe that Vince Young gives them an edge in close games. "At the end of the game, any time the ball is in Vince's hands everybody feels like we are going to win," Kyle Vanden Bosch said. "We were just waiting for something magical to happen." Maybe someone should conjure up some better receivers.
The Crescent City press was philosophical after the loss to Indy. After Sunday's loss to the Bucs, the panic button has been stomped upon. "They stink in the flat-out, no-doubt-about-it, the-season-could-rot-through-and-through kind of way," wrote John DeShazier in the New Orleans Times-Picayune.
The last time these teams met was 2003. The Titans won, 27-12. Steve McNair outdueled Aaron Brooks. Jerome Pathon led the Saints in receiving. It seems like eight trillion years ago.
Jeff Fisher's new contract will keep him in Tennessee until 2011. Pacman Jones will be reinstated and suspended at least three more times before then.
Stay away from this game. DeShazier's stink-stank-stunk analysis aside, the Saints can't be as bad as they looked against the Bucs. Let's reserve judgment until they settle down.
Bills at Patriots: As "Patriots Act" allegations and recriminations pile up, Bill Belichick looks more and more like Richard Nixon. Rundown's first impulse was to imitate Gerald Ford by pardoning him. But charges of illicit microphones and secret-frequency transmitters make that hard to do. Leaving controversial issues aside for a moment, the Patriots don't need the Stasi to tell them to keep a deep safety over Lee Evans, rush J.P. Losman from the edge so he can't scramble, and run the ball to beat the Bills. That's all we'll say on the record. Someone may be listening.
Giants at Commanders: Instead of playing out the rest of the football season, the Giants are going to film a remake of the seminal 1981 film Taps. Tom Couglin will reprise George C. Scott's role as General Bache, who dooms his cadets with an outmoded sense of bulletproof, burglar-proof, hundred proof honor. Eli Manning plays Timothy Hutton's role as Cadet Major Moreland, the loyal Bache disciple who valiantly leads the young soldiers to their tragic end. Mathias Kiwanuka plays Tom Cruise's David Shawn, who cracks under the strain and starts shooting the bejesus out of everything. The cadets defended the academy for about two hours in the film, but the Giants can't defend the end zone for more than about 10 minutes. The Commanders are all beat up on the offensive line, so the 4.5-point spread is risky, but they should prevail.
Panthers at Falcons: Our Rundown Time Machine spat out a Falcons game recap from the year 2063 on Monday morning:
"The Falcons lost to the Brunei Sultans 13-7 on Sunday at Brian Brohm Stadium in Atlanta. The Falcons could have won, but Tim Mazetti III, their 22-year old undrafted rookie kicker, missed attempts of 19 and 19.5 yards and injured quarterback Peyton Obama-Hasselbeck by accidentally tripping him on the sidelines. The Falcons signed 103-year old Morten Anderson, who has been living inside a humidor near Savannah, after the game to replace Mazetti."
Wow. Those who don't remember the past really are doomed to repeat it.
LINK