Funniest One Liner Quotes by Cowboys

[Bobhaze]

Having been a fan of the Cowboys since the early days, one thing I’ve really enjoyed about following the team is how many funny things have been said by players, coaches, owners, etc. Being a fan of the Cowboys has provided us some good laughs.

So here are some of the funniest quotes from the old days in my memory…

• Someone asked the great Walt Garrison once, “Hey, Walt, have you ever seen Coach Landry smile?” Walt said, “No. But I’ve only been here nine years.”
• From the clever former Dallas QB great Don Meredith on Tom Landry, “Coach Landry was a perfectionist. If he was married to Raquel Welch he would still expect her to cook.”
• Speaking of Walt Garrison, Meredith famously described the slow but tough RB this way, “If it was third down, and you needed four yards, Walt would get you five. And if it was third down and you needed twenty yards, by God, Walt would get you five.”
• From the great Hollywood Henderson, “Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the A.”
• Former Cowboys owner Bum Bright, who sold the team to Jerry, “I can relax with bums because I am a bum.”
• Former Wash head coach George Allen talked about the vicious hits Cowboys HOF safety Cliff Harris delivered, “He was a rolling ball of butcher knives.”

These are just a few. Please add some of the more recent funny quotes you can find.

 

[shabazz]

"If we had picked Manziel, he'd guarantee our relevance for 10 years."

Jerry Jones

 

[Pokes12]

Having been a fan of the Cowboys since the early days, one thing I’ve really enjoyed about following the team is how many funny things have been said by players, coaches, owners, etc. Being a fan of the Cowboys has provided us some good laughs.

So here are some of the funniest quotes from the old days in my memory…

• Someone asked the great Walt Garrison once, “Hey, Walt, have you ever seen Coach Landry smile?” Walt said, “No. But I’ve only been here nine years.”
• From the clever former Dallas QB great Don Meredith on Tom Landry, “Coach Landry was a perfectionist. If he was married to Raquel Welch he would still expect her to cook.”
• Speaking of Walt Garrison, Meredith famously described the slow but tough RB this way, “If it was third down, and you needed four yards, Walt would get you five. And if it was third down and you needed twenty yards, by God, Walt would get you five.”
• From the great Hollywood Henderson, “Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the A.”
• Former Cowboys owner Bum Bright, who sold the team to Jerry, “I can relax with bums because I am a bum.”
• Former Wash head coach George Allen talked about the vicious hits Cowboys HOF safety Cliff Harris delivered, “He was a rolling ball of butcher knives.”

These are just a few. Please add some of the more recent funny quotes you can find.

Don Meredith as the Cowboys plane hit some turbulence coming out of NYC, the team was panicked, everyone thought the plane was crashing, Don said, "Well its been a good'un>"

 

[Bobhaze]

"If we had picked Manziel, he'd guarantee our relevance for 10 years."

Jerry Jones

• “Lower than a cricket’s butt.” —Jerry Jones
• “We’ve gotten down to circumcising mosquitoes.” —Jerry Jones

 

[Pass2Run]

"It's a process." -- Jason Garrett

That time Jerry Jones told Pacman he still had his arse out in the street.

 

[Praxit]

"Its just like anything" Coach McCarthy, that phrase was injected every time.

 

[ShortRound]

There are so many but this one will haunt the team

 

[fivetwos]

The kid….

“Cap is real”

“I always chuckle when I’m asked about that (cap space).”

We think we have the secret sauce….”

The old man…..

(on why he doesn’t invest in the OL)….”I shouldn’t have to. Hudson Houck is the highest paid OL coach in the NFL.”

“Five hundred coaches…..”

Endless actually.

 

[Pass2Run]

"Its just like anything" Coach McCarthy, that phrase was injected every time.

This. But, to me, it was never funny. It told me he didn't really have any substance or any substantive direction. Any time he said that, which was often, that's what he really meant.

'I think it's just like anything else." . . . was the phrase.

Not one single press conference exists in which Mike McCarthy didn't say "I think it's just like anything else."

 

[Praxit]

This. But, to me, it was never funny. It told me he didn't really have any substance or any substantive direction. Any time he said that, which was often, that's what he really meant.

'I think it's just like anything else." . . . was the phrase.

Not one single press conference exists in which Mike McCarthy didn't say "I think it's just like anything else."

....yep, me too. I got the jeebee's with that phrase. ITs like having no ammo, and you put in slugs.

 

[FaSho]

"That's my teammate, that's my quarterback"

 

[Jipper]

"That's my teammate, that's my quarterback"

Damn beat me to it!

 

[Coogiguy03]

We're a Superbowl team!

 

[big dog cowboy]

It's a process.

 

[Khartun]

Consider yourself sucked. - Bill Parcells

 

[beware_d-ware]

Credit where credit is due in Houston. Bum Phillips was an expert at these.

A reporter asked him if Earl Campbell was in a class of his own. "He may not be in a class by himself, but it sure doesn't take long to call roll."

 

[mrmojo]

"If its the ultimate game why are they playing it again next year?" Duane Thomas on the SB

 

[Flamma]

When asked why he was wearing his sunglasses indoors, Hollywood Henderson said, "when you're cool, the sun is always shining".

 

[Ranching]

All time classic....please share your thoughts! Almost as good as Garrett Sucks!

 

[Plankton]

What do voluntary mean?

- Darren Hambrick