Humor: Some Marketing Ideas for Jerry this offseason

[Bobhaze]

We all know Jerry is a marketing genius. He’s used his business skills to build the most valuable sports franchise in America as well as earning himself a bust in Canton. There’s very little when it comes to making money that he hasn’t taken advantage of. Like many of you have the seen the “Cowboys 2021 Draft Hat” to be donned during this year’s draft. That’s real.

But just for grins, let’s assume there are some ideas he’s left on the table, lol. So...here are some marketing gems JJ could still take advantage of this offseason:

• The “Cowboys Free Agency Hat”- Very, very cheap. Only .99 cents.
• The “Cowboys Draft Beer”- The first round is usually good but the second round usually has something wrong with it, lol.
• The “Silver Anniversary Since our Last Super Bowl” hat commemorating 25 years since the Cowboys last SB appearance. $250. Because some people will pay for it.
• The “Sky Mirror Compact” for female Cowboys fans who like to keep a compact in their purse.

What else?

 

[Hagman]

"The Party Bus Kids Toy by Fisher-Price" Now your kids can pretend that they're travelling in style just like Jerry and league officials. (Barbie strippers sold separately").
"The Jerry Jones Bathtub Boat" Forget how much you suck at the end of your day by floating the JerryBoat while you soak in the tub.
"The Official Dallas Cowboys Stripper Pole for the Home." Now your daughters can pretend play that they're pole dancers at AT and T Stadium.
"The Rowdy Rock 'em, Sock 'em Punching Doll" Relieve your frustrations by punching the Rowdy Punching Doll. (Jerry Jones Punch 'em Doll sold separately).

 

[Bobhaze]

"The Party Bus Kids Toy by Fisher-Price" Now your kids can pretend that they're travelling in style just like Jerry and league officials. (Barbie strippers sold separately").
"The Jerry Jones Bathtub Boat" Forget how much you suck at the end of your day by floating the JerryBoat while you soak in the tub.
"The Official Dallas Cowboys Stripper Pole for the Home." Now your daughters can pretend play that they're pole dancers at AT and T Stadium.
"The Rowdy Rock 'em, Sock 'em Punching Doll" Relieve your frustrations by punching the Rowdy Punching Doll. (Jerry Jones Punch 'em Doll sold separately).

Yes!
I might buy the Rowdy Rock-em Sock-em! Lol!

 

[AmericasTeam81]

If there is something to market, Jerry will find it

 

[fivetwos]

How about the "be your own NFL GM" board game?

 

[Bobhaze]

How about the "be your own NFL GM" board game?

There has to be a move where you can buy a team and name all your kids to lifetime executive positions.

 

[Hagman]

The Dallas Cowboys Officially Licensed Sour Suckers Candy. They always leave a sour taste in your mouth, but the suckers always come back for more.

 

[Bobhaze]

The Dallas Cowboys Officially Licensed Sour Suckers Candy. They always leave a sour taste in your mouth, but the suckers always come back for more.

“Gene Jones Jeans- they can make any person’s rear end look like a piece of art”.

 

[DallasEast]

"The Rowdy Rock 'em, Sock 'em Punching Doll" Relieve your frustrations by punching the Rowdy Punching Doll.

SOLD!

Is that cash, check or credit card?

Is there same day shipping?

 

[Hagman]

Dallas Cowboys Officially Licensed Haterade. You’ll want to open and knock back a cold one while posting on your favorite fan forum.

 

[TwoCentPlain]

How about the "be your own NFL GM" board game?

I had that game as a kid. It was called 'Pro Draft.' It was awesome. Loved that game. Still have it.

 

[Hagman]

You’ll enjoy the experience of watching America’s Team play much more while wearing the officially licensed Homer Glasses! (as endorsed by Rockport!)

 

[TwoCentPlain]

@Bobhaze Yes, Jerry may 'take advantage' of things like Draft Day hats, but, remember Jerry doesn't need the little money he gets from that comparatively speaking to his wealth. However, the people who make the hats and sell the hats need the money and appreciate Jerry providing them the opportunity to make some money they do need.

 

[Bobhaze]

@Bobhaze Yes, Jerry may 'take advantage' of things like Draft Day hats, but, remember Jerry doesn't need the little money he gets from that comparatively speaking to his wealth. However, the people who make the hats and sell the hats need the money and appreciate Jerry providing them the opportunity to make some money they do need.

I understand. Good point. Just having some fun here.

 

[TequilaCowboy]

Yes!
I might buy the Rowdy Rock-em Sock-em! Lol!

LOL, I'll buy that for a dollar.

 

[maryquality]

Yes!
I might buy the Rowdy Rock-em Sock-em! Lol!

I still can't believe someone thought it was a good idea to have Rowdy as our mascot!! Epic fail!!!! Why is he still around?? He has to go!!

 

[Motorola]

Some personal care products....
The Star Toothpaste
DCC - Dallas Cowboys Condoms
Jerry Jones Breath Mints
Hot Boyz Hemorrhoids Cream
America's Team Toilet Paper

 

[MarcusRock]

DCC - Dallas Cowboys Condoms

"Make your futility last as long as the Cowboys' "

 

[cowboyec]

every time COOOOOOOOP scores a td this year....fans get 19% off set of
COOOOOOOOOOPer tires.
i kill me sometimes.

 

[ArtClink]

Great thread Hazey! Here are my ideas.

1. Tarnished cowboys star deputy sheriff's badge for youngsters to commemorate 25+ years of playoff irrelevance
2. America's Team 1975-1995 ball cap
3. Where's Spaulding kid's book (similar to Where's Waldo)
4. Jerry Jones youth size training camp coaching outfit (exactly like Jerry's training camp head coach outfit sans the whistle) so kids can aspire to be a pretend head coach like Jerry
5. 2021-22 Season coloring and activity book - Kids can try to locate players who won a divisional playoff game in the past 25 years
6. Fans crossword puzzle book featuring names from all draft & FA misses by the Jones boys in the past 25 years. Kids can locate draft & FA busts like Ebenezer Eckuban, Drew Hansen, Chutch, QCar, Barbie Carpenter, cold weather kicker specialist, all players from special teams draft, Martelius Bennet, Greg Hardy, Kellen "The Hammer" Moore, Taco Charleston, and many more!
7. A fan's book of excuses for lack of playoff runs which include injuries, changing head coaches, different defensive schemes, bad luck, ref's cheated us, Romo hurt, Dak hurt, need better backup QB, NFL conspiracy to keep the Jones boys down, and others
8. A guide to hooking up with one of the Jones boys
9. Wade Phillips vintage offseason gag order replica souvenir
10. The Game of Life Jones edition - players compete for the big prize of "being competitive" as a real NFL GM, can buy stripper lawsuit insurance, hire attorneys, get married and have kids, have affairs, emasculate head coaches, buy yachts, undermine every coaching decision made, and overpay for players not deserving of fat extended contracts.
11. Jerry's big book of felons - Fans can enjoy all the great character people Jerry has signed over the past 25 years
12. How to alienate a complete generation of fans by remaining an irrelevant team the past quarter of a century
13. Jerry Titanic Color Forms Book - Kids can rearrange the deck chairs and give the upcoming Cowboys season a fresh coat of paint while gambling on the date that the Cowboys ship sinks.