Pittman4Two
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You've seen the CBS power rankings, you've seen the ESPN "power rankings", and now the football magazines are all coming out on the magazine stands at your local grocery store wherever you buy groceries. It's important for you to view these other power rankings first to get an idea of how "out there" these publications are. They haven't done the research, they don't have the sources, and they don't have the eyes for talent like yours truly. I'm not much for blowing my horn, but I think I nailed it this year. What you see below are my power rankings for the NFL League. Yes, these are for the preseason as they might change between now and the regular season which is after the preseason.
So, go ahead a paroose these rankings with a tooth comb. I believe you'll see there, obviously, unbiased while not being biased at all. Chances are that you will find your team in the rankings.
The Official Pittman4Two NFL League Preseasonal Power Rankings
1. The Tampa Bay Buccanneers (Super Bowl XXXIIIX Champs) - With Gruden at the controls of this hot rod, the sky's the limit for this offense. Jeff Garthia has been named the started by Gruden. An undefeated season will only be hindered by losses. Look for Cadillac to continue to be tutoled by Pittman.
2. The Seattle Seahawks - Mike Holmgren appears to be set on getting a younger ballclub. His continual use of Just for Men hair coloring will only accelerate this process. Shaun Alexander should still see the majority of the carries for this offense.
3. The New England Patriots - Whenever I think of a role model, I think of Tom Brady. Even when faced with adversity off of the football field, he continues to make all the right moves. Look for the NFL Man of the Year candidate to continue to quarterback this offense. The question here is: Will the loss of Seau keep this team from making the postseason? All questions should be answered by the end of the season.
4. The Cincinnati Bengals - I'll be honest, the toughness of this footall team will ultimately lead it to its destiny. The front office continues to impress with key moves like sitting half the offense for 8 games so they're fresh and ready for the postseason.
5. The Indianapolis Colts - This ranking seems low but history indicates that repeat SB (Super Bowl) winners are a thing of the past. Manning's continual publicity through commercials as well as advertisements will cause him undue exhaustion by the season's beginning. With Shaun King at backup, Dungy already has two QB's with championship experience. Look for that to spill over to the defense as well.
6. The Dallas Cowboys - The Boys appear ready to ride the wave of Romo-mentum all the way to Miami. Bill Parcells laid the groundwork for the foundation of the Cowboys. Terry Glenn and TO (Terrell Owens) are a WR tandem that requires coverage by a defensive back. Wade Phillips looks to emerge from his dad's shadows.
7. The Chicago Bears - I like Rex Grossman. His incomplete passes only happen when either A) A receiver drops the ball or B) they get intercepted because the receiver failed to try and make a play. It was evident that the Super Bowl atmosphere got to the Bears OL. The forgetfulness of the unit forgot to wipe the football before snapping it to Rex who was then forced to lay the ball on the ground before throwing a wobbly pass that could be intercepted. Spurrier taught this kid right.
8. The Tennessee Titans - Jeff Fisher runs a tight ship up north. Look for him to reign in young Vince Young. It's important for the young man to become more of a pocket passer where he's more valuable. Running around scared will only get you highlights on SportsCenter, not championships. Young has the respect of players around the league. It was nice to see that one Giants player play two-hand tag and then let Young go before any serious injury came about. Goodell's on the right track as commissioner.
9. The Houston Texans - The Falcons know how much of a loss Matt Schwab will be. He will take this Texan team by storm and lead them to a win without question. Demeco Ryans and Mario Williams play defense.
10. The New Orleans Saints - Rounding out the top 10 is the Saints. I was pretty right on with the Saints last season as I was laughed at by fans of all ages and sizes. Now who's laughing? Jim Mora's aura still runs through the superdome and it's the Mora Aura that will springboard this team to more success in the future.
11. The Minnesota Vikings - A new head coach, new uniforms, new fans, and a new coach...it all adds up to W's in the win column. Jackson does it all...one-step drops, three-step drops, 5-step drops, throws to the left AND throws to the right, he can also scramble well when has to. Good draft pick by Red.
12. The Cleveland Browns - Brady Quinn needs to start right away if the Browns want any chance of getting to Super Bowl XXXXII. The kid has yet to throw an interception. Where else will you find pedigrees like that?
13. The Miami Dolphins - The Culpepper saga continues in Florida. Why not release the guy is in contract so he can play in the CFL with best friend Quincy Carter? Whatever happened to loyalty to owners. Roger Goodell will settle this. If Culpepper is release by this posting, that means Lemon will be the starter for the forseeable preseason.
14. The Washington Commanders - Santana Moss was noticeably absent from games last season when he was injured. The trainers should have done the right thing and shot him full of HGH before gametime. HGH only appears to be illegal in Australia. No worries there. Without Moss, the Commanders will be forced to use a different receiver.
15. The Atlanta Falcons - I've never seen a player with more stature and pressure than Michael Wayne Vick. With distractions aplenty, Vick still leads this Falcons football team. Wherever Vick goes, the Falcons follow. I'd like to see more leadership by Vick however. Keeping the entire NFL League in the dark during these wildlife entertainment events does nothing to help credability. Players around the league may want to volunteer their pets as well. C'mon Mike, share and share alike.
16. The Jacksonville Jaguars – Looks like we have a touch of a QB controversy down in the Jax’Ville. Del Rio has a decision to make. Luckily Greg Jones returns to form this season after failing to make an impact last year.
17. The Philadelphia Eagles – Reports are that McNabb will, in fact, practice throughout the preseason with the potential of seeing some action during the 2007 season. Kevin Kolb appears to be the future at quarterback, however this is his first year of play in the NFL League, therefore there will be a lack of experience if McNabb doesn’t become starter once again, so it’s important for Coach Reid to nurture Kolb into the quarterback he wants him to be, yet it’s also important to keep McNabb happy by letting him have the starters job if he’s healthy, however if McNabb doesn’t perform well, the Philly fans will boo him in an attempt to let him know they do not approve and aren’t going to just standby while the season goes down the tubes.
18. The Arizona Cardinals – Edgerrin James, Matt Leinhart, and Larry Fitzgerald hope to continue on the tradition of Neil Lomax and Rich Camarillo. Both of these Cardinal legends were successful during their run. I see similar futures for the young trio as well. Don’t be surprised to see Cardinal red in the postseason.
19. The San Diego Chargers – Wow, what a game to end the season for the Chargers! It was a very exciting matchup between them and the Patriots. I only wish the Pewter Pirates could’ve been involved in that one as well. Phil Rivers will again put the team on his shoulders and try to earn another postseason trip. Tomlinson plays running back.
20. The Green Bay Packers – Brett Favre is now on the wrong side of 30. The bright side is that he’s on the right side of 40. Good news for Packers fans. Go Pack Go!
21. The St. Louis Rams – Mike Martz and staff have really nothing to do with this team anymore. I’d like to see Stephen Jackson become more of a focus on offense.
22. The Detroit Lions – I like the colors of their uniforms. Garthia was a leader of this ball club and that’s why they’re ranked in the top ¾ of the league.
23. The Oakland Raiders – Moss is gone, Evans is gone, now a rookie lines up under center. Has Al Davis really lossed it? This team hasn’t been competitive since you know who was coach.
24. The San Francisco 49ers – I like what Nolan’s doing over on the other side of the country. No matter how bad his team plays, he needs to look presentable on the sidelines. Look for the players to wear shirts and ties during photoshoots so they can look like college football players from higher echelon programs. Like when the Gators lineup is shown on TV, you see all the players in shirt and ties. Very classy…and now they’re National Champs. Nolan’s not an idiot.
25. The Carolina Panthers – The league has finally figured out Delhommme. I was always amazed at how amazing the guy could, under duress, throw the rainbow and somehow his WR would catch it in between three defenders who all knocked each other out of the way. Apparently, now defenses do not rush Jake and he’s forced to make good decisions rather than throw it over his left shoulder while running backwards. This is a smart league.
26. The Kansas City Chiefs – Arrowhead Stadium is an intimidating force. Looking from above in the blimp shot you can see nothing but red. It’s a shame the Chiefs fans don’t all travel together to each stadium and cover it all red. Trent Green was let go in the offseason so look for, at least, one quarterback to be in the rotation. This is a rebuilding project, but the head coach will see this through.
27. The New York Giants – This is the year for the G-Men. Eli Manning is coming into his own, Tiki Barber has retired, and now Brandon Jacobs gets to show why he’s a running back and not a backup long snapper. Get your popcorn in the oven and put it on 4 minutes, Giants fans!
28. The Buffalo Bills – Daryl Talley, Cornelius Bennett, Phil Hansen, and Steve Christie have not played a game in years, yet the Bills fans still cheer this team on each and every week. JP Losman has yet another season of experience under his belt. I like his understandment of the game. He always throws completions when asked to do so for the betterment of the team (similar to Mark Brunell).
29. The Denver Broncos – I really forgot all about these guys, but that’s not my fault. If the Broncos public relations department would do a better job of advertising their team, I might have remembered them in time of these rankings. Champ Bailey will continue to cover opposing WR’s despite not having an interception since 2006.
30. The Baltimore Ravens – This team in it’s young franchisement has had an abundant history. Trent Dilfer once led this team to a Super Bowl victory. Trent is with San Francisco now, therefore the Ravens will now have to deal with yet another season of mediocrity.
31. The Waste Management Irrigators – This is a team I created on Madden Football 2003 last week. It’s a good team and I believe I could definitely beat the real life New York Jets and the Stealers.
32. The New York Jets – I really feel for Camp Mangini recruits. I hear they will practice twice a day during training camp. This will udderly stighme the young kids but the veterans will come away more battle-hardened then ever. Chad Pennington will now begin throwing with his left arm since all of this talk has arisen about his right arm strength. Go for it Chad. You have a fresh left arm that’s never thrown a football. The first switch-thrower in history (save Delhomme).
33. The Pittsburgh Steelers – Rounding out this portion of the power rankings is the Steelers. 2007 will be the year we see the rise and fall of Big Ben. Oh wait, that was 2006. I hear Ben R. will ask Roger Goodell if he can leave his helmet on the sidelines this season because he really doesn’t see the need for one. I’m sure we’ll hear more on this when we do.
So there you have it football fans…a legit ranking of all 32 NFL League football teams. Hopefully some feathers aren’t ruffled. Keep in mind that I am not Claire Voyant and yet cannot see the future.
I’m interested to read your thoughts of these rankings. Is your team ranked correctly? I’ll answer that one. Yes, they are.
Thoughts?
So, go ahead a paroose these rankings with a tooth comb. I believe you'll see there, obviously, unbiased while not being biased at all. Chances are that you will find your team in the rankings.
The Official Pittman4Two NFL League Preseasonal Power Rankings
1. The Tampa Bay Buccanneers (Super Bowl XXXIIIX Champs) - With Gruden at the controls of this hot rod, the sky's the limit for this offense. Jeff Garthia has been named the started by Gruden. An undefeated season will only be hindered by losses. Look for Cadillac to continue to be tutoled by Pittman.
2. The Seattle Seahawks - Mike Holmgren appears to be set on getting a younger ballclub. His continual use of Just for Men hair coloring will only accelerate this process. Shaun Alexander should still see the majority of the carries for this offense.
3. The New England Patriots - Whenever I think of a role model, I think of Tom Brady. Even when faced with adversity off of the football field, he continues to make all the right moves. Look for the NFL Man of the Year candidate to continue to quarterback this offense. The question here is: Will the loss of Seau keep this team from making the postseason? All questions should be answered by the end of the season.
4. The Cincinnati Bengals - I'll be honest, the toughness of this footall team will ultimately lead it to its destiny. The front office continues to impress with key moves like sitting half the offense for 8 games so they're fresh and ready for the postseason.
5. The Indianapolis Colts - This ranking seems low but history indicates that repeat SB (Super Bowl) winners are a thing of the past. Manning's continual publicity through commercials as well as advertisements will cause him undue exhaustion by the season's beginning. With Shaun King at backup, Dungy already has two QB's with championship experience. Look for that to spill over to the defense as well.
6. The Dallas Cowboys - The Boys appear ready to ride the wave of Romo-mentum all the way to Miami. Bill Parcells laid the groundwork for the foundation of the Cowboys. Terry Glenn and TO (Terrell Owens) are a WR tandem that requires coverage by a defensive back. Wade Phillips looks to emerge from his dad's shadows.
7. The Chicago Bears - I like Rex Grossman. His incomplete passes only happen when either A) A receiver drops the ball or B) they get intercepted because the receiver failed to try and make a play. It was evident that the Super Bowl atmosphere got to the Bears OL. The forgetfulness of the unit forgot to wipe the football before snapping it to Rex who was then forced to lay the ball on the ground before throwing a wobbly pass that could be intercepted. Spurrier taught this kid right.
8. The Tennessee Titans - Jeff Fisher runs a tight ship up north. Look for him to reign in young Vince Young. It's important for the young man to become more of a pocket passer where he's more valuable. Running around scared will only get you highlights on SportsCenter, not championships. Young has the respect of players around the league. It was nice to see that one Giants player play two-hand tag and then let Young go before any serious injury came about. Goodell's on the right track as commissioner.
9. The Houston Texans - The Falcons know how much of a loss Matt Schwab will be. He will take this Texan team by storm and lead them to a win without question. Demeco Ryans and Mario Williams play defense.
10. The New Orleans Saints - Rounding out the top 10 is the Saints. I was pretty right on with the Saints last season as I was laughed at by fans of all ages and sizes. Now who's laughing? Jim Mora's aura still runs through the superdome and it's the Mora Aura that will springboard this team to more success in the future.
11. The Minnesota Vikings - A new head coach, new uniforms, new fans, and a new coach...it all adds up to W's in the win column. Jackson does it all...one-step drops, three-step drops, 5-step drops, throws to the left AND throws to the right, he can also scramble well when has to. Good draft pick by Red.
12. The Cleveland Browns - Brady Quinn needs to start right away if the Browns want any chance of getting to Super Bowl XXXXII. The kid has yet to throw an interception. Where else will you find pedigrees like that?
13. The Miami Dolphins - The Culpepper saga continues in Florida. Why not release the guy is in contract so he can play in the CFL with best friend Quincy Carter? Whatever happened to loyalty to owners. Roger Goodell will settle this. If Culpepper is release by this posting, that means Lemon will be the starter for the forseeable preseason.
14. The Washington Commanders - Santana Moss was noticeably absent from games last season when he was injured. The trainers should have done the right thing and shot him full of HGH before gametime. HGH only appears to be illegal in Australia. No worries there. Without Moss, the Commanders will be forced to use a different receiver.
15. The Atlanta Falcons - I've never seen a player with more stature and pressure than Michael Wayne Vick. With distractions aplenty, Vick still leads this Falcons football team. Wherever Vick goes, the Falcons follow. I'd like to see more leadership by Vick however. Keeping the entire NFL League in the dark during these wildlife entertainment events does nothing to help credability. Players around the league may want to volunteer their pets as well. C'mon Mike, share and share alike.
16. The Jacksonville Jaguars – Looks like we have a touch of a QB controversy down in the Jax’Ville. Del Rio has a decision to make. Luckily Greg Jones returns to form this season after failing to make an impact last year.
17. The Philadelphia Eagles – Reports are that McNabb will, in fact, practice throughout the preseason with the potential of seeing some action during the 2007 season. Kevin Kolb appears to be the future at quarterback, however this is his first year of play in the NFL League, therefore there will be a lack of experience if McNabb doesn’t become starter once again, so it’s important for Coach Reid to nurture Kolb into the quarterback he wants him to be, yet it’s also important to keep McNabb happy by letting him have the starters job if he’s healthy, however if McNabb doesn’t perform well, the Philly fans will boo him in an attempt to let him know they do not approve and aren’t going to just standby while the season goes down the tubes.
18. The Arizona Cardinals – Edgerrin James, Matt Leinhart, and Larry Fitzgerald hope to continue on the tradition of Neil Lomax and Rich Camarillo. Both of these Cardinal legends were successful during their run. I see similar futures for the young trio as well. Don’t be surprised to see Cardinal red in the postseason.
19. The San Diego Chargers – Wow, what a game to end the season for the Chargers! It was a very exciting matchup between them and the Patriots. I only wish the Pewter Pirates could’ve been involved in that one as well. Phil Rivers will again put the team on his shoulders and try to earn another postseason trip. Tomlinson plays running back.
20. The Green Bay Packers – Brett Favre is now on the wrong side of 30. The bright side is that he’s on the right side of 40. Good news for Packers fans. Go Pack Go!
21. The St. Louis Rams – Mike Martz and staff have really nothing to do with this team anymore. I’d like to see Stephen Jackson become more of a focus on offense.
22. The Detroit Lions – I like the colors of their uniforms. Garthia was a leader of this ball club and that’s why they’re ranked in the top ¾ of the league.
23. The Oakland Raiders – Moss is gone, Evans is gone, now a rookie lines up under center. Has Al Davis really lossed it? This team hasn’t been competitive since you know who was coach.
24. The San Francisco 49ers – I like what Nolan’s doing over on the other side of the country. No matter how bad his team plays, he needs to look presentable on the sidelines. Look for the players to wear shirts and ties during photoshoots so they can look like college football players from higher echelon programs. Like when the Gators lineup is shown on TV, you see all the players in shirt and ties. Very classy…and now they’re National Champs. Nolan’s not an idiot.
25. The Carolina Panthers – The league has finally figured out Delhommme. I was always amazed at how amazing the guy could, under duress, throw the rainbow and somehow his WR would catch it in between three defenders who all knocked each other out of the way. Apparently, now defenses do not rush Jake and he’s forced to make good decisions rather than throw it over his left shoulder while running backwards. This is a smart league.
26. The Kansas City Chiefs – Arrowhead Stadium is an intimidating force. Looking from above in the blimp shot you can see nothing but red. It’s a shame the Chiefs fans don’t all travel together to each stadium and cover it all red. Trent Green was let go in the offseason so look for, at least, one quarterback to be in the rotation. This is a rebuilding project, but the head coach will see this through.
27. The New York Giants – This is the year for the G-Men. Eli Manning is coming into his own, Tiki Barber has retired, and now Brandon Jacobs gets to show why he’s a running back and not a backup long snapper. Get your popcorn in the oven and put it on 4 minutes, Giants fans!
28. The Buffalo Bills – Daryl Talley, Cornelius Bennett, Phil Hansen, and Steve Christie have not played a game in years, yet the Bills fans still cheer this team on each and every week. JP Losman has yet another season of experience under his belt. I like his understandment of the game. He always throws completions when asked to do so for the betterment of the team (similar to Mark Brunell).
29. The Denver Broncos – I really forgot all about these guys, but that’s not my fault. If the Broncos public relations department would do a better job of advertising their team, I might have remembered them in time of these rankings. Champ Bailey will continue to cover opposing WR’s despite not having an interception since 2006.
30. The Baltimore Ravens – This team in it’s young franchisement has had an abundant history. Trent Dilfer once led this team to a Super Bowl victory. Trent is with San Francisco now, therefore the Ravens will now have to deal with yet another season of mediocrity.
31. The Waste Management Irrigators – This is a team I created on Madden Football 2003 last week. It’s a good team and I believe I could definitely beat the real life New York Jets and the Stealers.
32. The New York Jets – I really feel for Camp Mangini recruits. I hear they will practice twice a day during training camp. This will udderly stighme the young kids but the veterans will come away more battle-hardened then ever. Chad Pennington will now begin throwing with his left arm since all of this talk has arisen about his right arm strength. Go for it Chad. You have a fresh left arm that’s never thrown a football. The first switch-thrower in history (save Delhomme).
33. The Pittsburgh Steelers – Rounding out this portion of the power rankings is the Steelers. 2007 will be the year we see the rise and fall of Big Ben. Oh wait, that was 2006. I hear Ben R. will ask Roger Goodell if he can leave his helmet on the sidelines this season because he really doesn’t see the need for one. I’m sure we’ll hear more on this when we do.
So there you have it football fans…a legit ranking of all 32 NFL League football teams. Hopefully some feathers aren’t ruffled. Keep in mind that I am not Claire Voyant and yet cannot see the future.
I’m interested to read your thoughts of these rankings. Is your team ranked correctly? I’ll answer that one. Yes, they are.
Thoughts?
