Is this a socially acceptable use for duct tape?

Reverend Conehead

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This lady in the breakroom had this annoying, whiny, nasaly voice, saying crap like, "My husband does't touch me enough." I don't know the personal lives of my coworkers and I like it that way. There's some stuff I just don't need to know. What's worse, her mouth just runs non-stop with that shrill, annoying voice, babbling trivialities. I don't need to know that her husband's trying to cut back on salt or that her granddaughter tripped and fell in the mud, but her squawky voice with her irritating twang just drones on, "My husband had the nerve to say I annoy him; I never annoy anyone." I'm sitting there thinking, "That poor man."

In any event, there's no end to the creative ways to use duct tape. I've fixed all kinds of stuff with duct tape. It's amazing stuff. What I'm wondering is, would I get in trouble if I brought a roll of duct tape to work and then, when she's babbling again, I just tear off a nice big piece of it and secure it over her mouth. It seems it would benefit both myself and the other coworkers. Let me know if you think this is a good solution. Thanks.
 

Rockport

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This lady in the breakroom had this annoying, whiny, nasaly voice, saying crap like, "My husband does't touch me enough." I don't know the personal lives of my coworkers and I like it that way. There's some stuff I just don't need to know. What's worse, her mouth just runs non-stop with that shrill, annoying voice, babbling trivialities. I don't need to know that her husband's trying to cut back on salt or that her granddaughter tripped and fell in the mud, but her squawky voice with her irritating twang just drones on, "My husband had the nerve to say I annoy him; I never annoy anyone." I'm sitting there thinking, "That poor man."

In any event, there's no end to the creative ways to use duct tape. I've fixed all kinds of stuff with duct tape. It's amazing stuff. What I'm wondering is, would I get in trouble if I brought a roll of duct tape to work and then, when she's babbling again, I just tear off a nice big piece of it and secure it over her mouth. It seems it would benefit both myself and the other coworkers. Let me know if you think this is a good solution. Thanks.
We must work at the same company.
 

DallasEast

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This lady in the breakroom had this annoying, whiny, nasaly voice, saying crap like, "My husband does't touch me enough." I don't know the personal lives of my coworkers and I like it that way. There's some stuff I just don't need to know. What's worse, her mouth just runs non-stop with that shrill, annoying voice, babbling trivialities. I don't need to know that her husband's trying to cut back on salt or that her granddaughter tripped and fell in the mud, but her squawky voice with her irritating twang just drones on, "My husband had the nerve to say I annoy him; I never annoy anyone." I'm sitting there thinking, "That poor man."

In any event, there's no end to the creative ways to use duct tape. I've fixed all kinds of stuff with duct tape. It's amazing stuff. What I'm wondering is, would I get in trouble if I brought a roll of duct tape to work and then, when she's babbling again, I just tear off a nice big piece of it and secure it over her mouth. It seems it would benefit both myself and the other coworkers. Let me know if you think this is a good solution. Thanks.
Go with duct tape. At the same time remember the most important part of being read your Miranda rights is "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you." You will have options after the deed is done.
 

CF74

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Cut off a piece and leave note with it on her desk, anonymously of course...
 

Reverend Conehead

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Go with duct tape. At the same time remember the most important part of being read your Miranda rights is "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you." You will have options after the deed is done.

I hear that the lawyer is provided for free. Cool. I didn't realize this was a way to get free stuff.
 

Xelda

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I have a feeling this woman has worn out her story on everyone she knows and is assaulting co-workers now. I like the duct tape idea, but these days you may end up on the evening news for it. I have lots of ideas on how to handle things, but none are polite. Get with the others and have a coffee drinking game when she says certain words. All look at the clock then pass a dollar around begrudgingly as though everyone was betting on when she'd start or broach certain subjects. I think these are my two nicest options.
 

ABQCOWBOY

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This lady in the breakroom had this annoying, whiny, nasaly voice, saying crap like, "My husband does't touch me enough." I don't know the personal lives of my coworkers and I like it that way. There's some stuff I just don't need to know. What's worse, her mouth just runs non-stop with that shrill, annoying voice, babbling trivialities. I don't need to know that her husband's trying to cut back on salt or that her granddaughter tripped and fell in the mud, but her squawky voice with her irritating twang just drones on, "My husband had the nerve to say I annoy him; I never annoy anyone." I'm sitting there thinking, "That poor man."

In any event, there's no end to the creative ways to use duct tape. I've fixed all kinds of stuff with duct tape. It's amazing stuff. What I'm wondering is, would I get in trouble if I brought a roll of duct tape to work and then, when she's babbling again, I just tear off a nice big piece of it and secure it over her mouth. It seems it would benefit both myself and the other coworkers. Let me know if you think this is a good solution. Thanks.

I'm telling ya, a roll of Duct Tape and some Windex and your probably good for life.
 

CouchCoach

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She can file charges for assault. If an old woman can spill coffee in her own lap and sue and win, this woman will show pics of herself being stalked by a pack of wolves unable to scream for help because you duct taped her mouth. Her husband will thank you but then sue you for loss of consortium even though he will admit, under oath, that was all her mouth was good for.

I like the Woman in the Iron Mask idea. What? Ok, I am suggesting putting an iron mask on her
 

Reverend Conehead

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She can file charges for assault. If an old woman can spill coffee in her own lap and sue and win, this woman will show pics of herself being stalked by a pack of wolves unable to scream for help because you duct taped her mouth. Her husband will thank you but then sue you for loss of consortium even though he will admit, under oath, that was all her mouth was good for.

I like the Woman in the Iron Mask idea. What? Ok, I am suggesting putting an iron mask on her

If I don't use duct tape, what about just shoving an old athletic sock in her mouth?
 

CouchCoach

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If I don't use duct tape, what about just shoving an old athletic sock in her mouth?
Get rid of the matching sock so there won't be evidence.

I think her husband might be open to joining you in your plot if it doesn't involve him having to touch her. He probably doesn't touch her for fear of losing control with a firm loving touch around her neck as she slowly loses consciousness.
 

Reverend Conehead

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Get rid of the matching sock so there won't be evidence.

I think her husband might be open to joining you in your plot if it doesn't involve him having to touch her. He probably doesn't touch her for fear of losing control with a firm loving touch around her neck as she slowly loses consciousness.

I've already got a sock that is missing its mate. I'll use that one. I'm getting the feeling that others can identify with my experience. What a surprise it is to learn that I'm not the only person with an annoying coworker. She has no idea how annoying she is, but she will soon find out. Hee hee.
 

The Fonz

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My desk is right next to the break room. There’sa group of 3-4 of them and when they get together it sounds like a bunch of chickens cackling. Can’t say anything or they’ll go to HR.
These days you can' t even look
 
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