Plankton
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http://mmqb.si.com/mmqb/2016/11/29/nfl-directv-red-zone-channel-andrew-siciliano-embed
LOS ANGELES — The early Sunday slate for Week 8 is in its waning minutes, and the soundtrack for tens of thousands of NFL fans emanates from a dark room in the middle of a non-descript Southern California office park. Andrew Siciliano, in a suit and glossy dress shoes, paces his circular stage, no larger than a college dorm room. He picks at a leafy salad from a styrofoam container as his eyes dart across the wall in front of him: monitors showing all seven live NFL games. This is the DirectTV Red Zone, where there’s no time for nuance and little respect for downs before the 50. In the span of 90 seconds, Siciliano guides viewers through five scenes with a familiar, if dizzying, rhythm.
“After a beautiful play by David Johnson, Carson Palmer and company are now threatening. Two and a half to go, third quarter.”
“Now this is Raymond James in the right side of your screen, the Buccaneers, after a 42-yard play to Adam Humphries, they are in the red zone…”
“Carson Palmer second down, incomplete.”
“Now Jameis Winston, back of the end zone, that’s Cameron Brate, and that’s a touchdown.”
“Nick Foles just connected with Chris Conley for 33 yards, they are now at the Indianapolis 38 yard line; Alex Smith has been ruled out for the rest of the day.”
Ten minutes later, action has picked up and Siciliano puts his lunch aside. As seven quarterbacks march on scoring drives, Siciliano consults the two research assistants standing beside him and the producer in a faraway room. “Hey Bill, what’s happening on [screen] one?” Siciliano asks off-air, looking at the Patriots-Bills tilt. “Get ready for one.”
“No, wait,” the host interjects, directing his attention to screen six: Detroit at Houston, where the Lions are about to kick a field goal. “Let’s show six.” He takes three steps to the left and takes a look at the Buccaneers game on screen four. “Or wait, four! There’s a two point conversion!” Siciliano shouts. “Can we show four? Four, four, four!”
The feed can’t switch fast enough. The director has already cut to screen six, Houston. Siciliano stomps his foot and mouths “******!” They didn’t show the more exciting play live. No time for regrets, though: Siciliano jumps back into the flow to narrate Matt Prater’s 34-yard field goal and then a quick replay of the Tampa Bay conversion.
“Let’s go here, this is Houston, this is a field goal to make it a one-score game. That field goal is good, so it’s 20-13. But the Buccaneers just got a two-point conversion to extend the lead to seven. Mike Evans there from Jameis Winston and we will go to Carolina….”
Off air again, Siciliano lets out an exaggerated sigh. “That was my bad,” he says. He glances across the spread of screens and fixes on Colts-Chiefs, which is coming back from commercial. “Wait, is that a monkey?” Siciliano asks. “Can somebody find out if that’s a monkey on the screen?” And now he has another decision to make.
LOS ANGELES — The early Sunday slate for Week 8 is in its waning minutes, and the soundtrack for tens of thousands of NFL fans emanates from a dark room in the middle of a non-descript Southern California office park. Andrew Siciliano, in a suit and glossy dress shoes, paces his circular stage, no larger than a college dorm room. He picks at a leafy salad from a styrofoam container as his eyes dart across the wall in front of him: monitors showing all seven live NFL games. This is the DirectTV Red Zone, where there’s no time for nuance and little respect for downs before the 50. In the span of 90 seconds, Siciliano guides viewers through five scenes with a familiar, if dizzying, rhythm.
“After a beautiful play by David Johnson, Carson Palmer and company are now threatening. Two and a half to go, third quarter.”
“Now this is Raymond James in the right side of your screen, the Buccaneers, after a 42-yard play to Adam Humphries, they are in the red zone…”
“Carson Palmer second down, incomplete.”
“Now Jameis Winston, back of the end zone, that’s Cameron Brate, and that’s a touchdown.”
“Nick Foles just connected with Chris Conley for 33 yards, they are now at the Indianapolis 38 yard line; Alex Smith has been ruled out for the rest of the day.”
Ten minutes later, action has picked up and Siciliano puts his lunch aside. As seven quarterbacks march on scoring drives, Siciliano consults the two research assistants standing beside him and the producer in a faraway room. “Hey Bill, what’s happening on [screen] one?” Siciliano asks off-air, looking at the Patriots-Bills tilt. “Get ready for one.”
“No, wait,” the host interjects, directing his attention to screen six: Detroit at Houston, where the Lions are about to kick a field goal. “Let’s show six.” He takes three steps to the left and takes a look at the Buccaneers game on screen four. “Or wait, four! There’s a two point conversion!” Siciliano shouts. “Can we show four? Four, four, four!”
The feed can’t switch fast enough. The director has already cut to screen six, Houston. Siciliano stomps his foot and mouths “******!” They didn’t show the more exciting play live. No time for regrets, though: Siciliano jumps back into the flow to narrate Matt Prater’s 34-yard field goal and then a quick replay of the Tampa Bay conversion.
“Let’s go here, this is Houston, this is a field goal to make it a one-score game. That field goal is good, so it’s 20-13. But the Buccaneers just got a two-point conversion to extend the lead to seven. Mike Evans there from Jameis Winston and we will go to Carolina….”
Off air again, Siciliano lets out an exaggerated sigh. “That was my bad,” he says. He glances across the spread of screens and fixes on Colts-Chiefs, which is coming back from commercial. “Wait, is that a monkey?” Siciliano asks. “Can somebody find out if that’s a monkey on the screen?” And now he has another decision to make.