My Jerry Jones has Locked Out Everyone Out of Draft War Room Cowboys Mock Draft

[timb2]

I love the draft but every year I have to do a gutcheck because Jerry Jones has given me plenty of ulcers over his draft picks over the years. I do believe Jason Garrett and Stephen Jones have Jerry on a very short leash so they can make some decent picks,but I expect the worse and envision what Jerry Jones would do if he locked out everyone from the draft war room and made all the picks. Believe me if I heard the rumors to be true Jerry the last 2 years 1st round picks would have been Johnny Manzeil and Randy Gregory at #4 overall. They had to talk him out of it.I have studied Jerry and it gives me brain cramps to think of his idiotic logic.,but here are a few things I do know.

1-He loves Arkansas. His Alma Mater and these Razorback players walk on water to Jerry. Don't believe me? Felix Jones 2nd string RB picked in the 1st round over Chris Johnson & Ray Rice.He kept Clint Stoerner & Anthony Lucas on the practice squad for freaking 3 years and they sucked big time Jerry hoping they could blossom with time.I guess Jerry was hoping a decade

2-Jerry likes weird and silly nicknames. He must think because you have a goofy name or some cute nickname that must mean you are good.-Peppi Zellner never even started at his famed powerhouse college.That Dominant power Fort Hayes State and Jerry selected Zellner in the 4th round. Ebenezer Ekuban,Aqwasi Owusuh-Ansah,Skyler Green.

3-He has not drafted one Miami Hurricane since the breakup with Jimmie Johnson. Jerry holds his petty grudges.So no Huricanes.

4-Jerry likes to find that Diamond in the Rough. He wants to find someone that none of the NFL has thought about. He will find some obscure school and think this guy could be good. Devern Johnson(Sacred Heart) Kavika Pittman(McNeese State),Stepfret Williams(I can't even remember this college)etc.

5-Jerry is fixated in finding pass rushers early-Greg Ellis 1st,Demarcus Ware 1st,Anthony Spencer 1st,Shante Carver 1st,Ebenzer Ekuban 1st,Demarcus Lawrence 2nd,Kavika Pittman 2nd,

6-Jerry feels the fans wrath and he will draft some Homer picks.The local kids to appease the fans. Texas A&M and instate Texas players.

7-Jerry is fixated by shiney objects. Someone right before the draft rumors that this guy is flying up the boards and Jerry is like a moth to a lightbulb totally hypnotized.

8-Jerry drafts TEs early also-Gavin Escobar 2nd,Martellus Bennett 2nd,Anthony Fasano 2nd,David LaFleur 1st,Jason Witten 3rd,Eric Bjornson ,etc,

9- Jerry likes Frankensteins. Big tall guys who can barely move and Jerry thinks you can make it. Sam Young? George Hegamen? Antonio Anderson?

10-Jerry doesn't mind criminals , lunatics, druggies,and maniacs.

11-Jerry constantly drafts midgets WRs. Zuriel Smith?,Skyler Green?,Stepfret Williams?


OK SO HERE IS MY JERRY JONES HAS LOCKED OUT EVERYONE Mock Draft


1-Taco Charlton DE Michigan-Jerry likes stupid nicknames and likes to draft pass rushers early.

2-Dan Skipper OT Arkansas- Jerry overrates his favorites. He likes big tall players who have little ability also. You run a forty that could be timed by a sun dial and Jerry is impressed. Also Arkansas so we should be ready for Jerry's favortism.

3-Michael Roberts TE Toledo.-Big Tall and his forty is below average. Can't get downfield,couldn't run a forty unless you put a chinese buffet line in front of him.

4-Jeremy Sprinkle TE Arkansas-Yes but Jerry just drafted a TE,but this is Jerry we are talking about and Sprinkle can be a boneheaded scumbag thief(which he is),but he played at Arkansas and Jerry is is Heaven right now.

No 5th round

6th-Jerelle Carter CB Trinity International.-yes you all have heard of this place right? It has to be some football powerhouse you don't know then?

7thA-Speedy Noll WR Texas A&M. Covers 3 things Homer crowd ,midget, and stupid nickname.

7thB- FREAKING KICKER!!! Actually this is low we draft kickers higher and if the kicker can a be a specialist I don't know he does something like he outruns our safeties or designated kicker every other time with the regular kicker, Jerry will do this.


So there we have it. So hope this softens the blow if Jerry gets his way. Hopefully you prepare for the worse and hope the best. Please somebody take the door off the Cowboys draft war room before jerry gets the idea to lock out everyone.

 

[AsthmaField]

Those time are (thankfully) gone.

Been different since about 2010.

 

[UncleOscar]

Only flaw is you didn't have a trade up, and over trading, for the TE. Also, couldn't you have traded a 6 and both 7s for a real late 5th?

 

[Rogerthat12]

I love the draft but every year I have to do a gutcheck because Jerry Jones has given me plenty of ulcers over his draft picks over the years. I do believe Jason Garrett and Stephen Jones have Jerry on a very short leash so they can make some decent picks,but I expect the worse and envision what Jerry Jones would do if he locked out everyone from the draft war room and made all the picks. Believe me if I heard the rumors to be true Jerry the last 2 years 1st round picks would have been Johnny Manzeil and Randy Gregory at #4 overall. They had to talk him out of it.I have studied Jerry and it gives me brain cramps to think of his idiotic logic.,but here are a few things I do know.

1-He loves Arkansas. His Alma Mater and these Razorback players walk on water to Jerry. Don't believe me? Felix Jones 2nd string RB picked in the 1st round over Chris Johnson & Ray Rice.He kept Clint Stoerner & Anthony Lucas on the practice squad for freaking 3 years and they sucked big time Jerry hoping they could blossom with time.I guess Jerry was hoping a decade

2-Jerry likes weird and silly nicknames. He must think because you have a goofy name or some cute nickname that must mean you are good.-Peppi Zellner never even started at his famed powerhouse college.That Dominant power Fort Hayes State and Jerry selected Zellner in the 4th round. Ebenezer Ekuban,Aqwasi Owusuh-Ansah,Skyler Green.

3-He has not drafted one Miami Hurricane since the breakup with Jimmie Johnson. Jerry holds his petty grudges.So no Huricanes.

4-Jerry likes to find that Diamond in the Rough. He wants to find someone that none of the NFL has thought about. He will find some obscure school and think this guy could be good. Devern Johnson(Sacred Heart) Kavika Pittman(McNeese State),Stepfret Williams(I can't even remember this college)etc.

5-Jerry is fixated in finding pass rushers early-Greg Ellis 1st,Demarcus Ware 1st,Anthony Spencer 1st,Shante Carver 1st,Ebenzer Ekuban 1st,Demarcus Lawrence 2nd,Kavika Pittman 2nd,

6-Jerry feels the fans wrath and he will draft some Homer picks.The local kids to appease the fans. Texas A&M and instate Texas players.

7-Jerry is fixated by shiney objects. Someone right before the draft rumors that this guy is flying up the boards and Jerry is like a moth to a lightbulb totally hypnotized.

8-Jerry drafts TEs early also-Gavin Escobar 2nd,Martellus Bennett 2nd,Anthony Fasano 2nd,David LaFleur 1st,Jason Witten 3rd,Eric Bjornson ,etc,

9- Jerry likes Frankensteins. Big tall guys who can barely move and Jerry thinks you can make it. Sam Young? George Hegamen? Antonio Anderson?

10-Jerry doesn't mind criminals , lunatics, druggies,and maniacs.

11-Jerry constantly drafts midgets WRs. Zuriel Smith?,Skyler Green?,Stepfret Williams?


OK SO HERE IS MY JERRY JONES HAS LOCKED OUT EVERYONE Mock Draft


1-Taco Charlton DE Michigan-Jerry likes stupid nicknames and likes to draft pass rushers early.

2-Dan Skipper OT Arkansas- Jerry overrates his favorites. He likes big tall players who have little ability also. You run a forty that could be timed by a sun dial and Jerry is impressed. Also Arkansas so we should be ready for Jerry's favortism.

3-Michael Roberts TE Toledo.-Big Tall and his forty is below average. Can't get downfield,couldn't run a forty unless you put a chinese buffet line in front of him.

4-Jeremy Sprinkle TE Arkansas-Yes but Jerry just drafted a TE,but this is Jerry we are talking about and Sprinkle can be a boneheaded scumbag thief(which he is),but he played at Arkansas and Jerry is is Heaven right now.

No 5th round

6th-Jerelle Carter CB Trinity International.-yes you all have heard of this place right? It has to be some football powerhouse you don't know then?

7thA-Speedy Noll WR Texas A&M. Covers 3 things Homer crowd ,midget, and stupid nickname.

7thB- FREAKING KICKER!!! Actually this is low we draft kickers higher and if the kicker can a be a specialist I don't know he does something like he outruns our safeties or designated kicker every other time with the regular kicker, Jerry will do this.


So there we have it. So hope this softens the blow if Jerry gets his way. Hopefully you prepare for the worse and hope the best. Please somebody take the door off the Cowboys draft war room before jerry gets the idea to lock out everyone.

But....Deep in the confines of the Star in Frisco...http://i1133.***BLOCKED***/albums/m600/DWAREZIZ/image_11.jpeg

 

[conner01]

Jerry has drafted a grand total of on razorback
Lucas sustain a serious injury and he heptachlor him around to take care of him. Didn't take a roster spot and he did the same thing for other players

 

[waving monkey]

I couldn't read past Jerry loves his Arkansas players

 

[Angus12]

I couldn't read past Jerry loves his Arkansas players

Yeah, I stopped there too. I can maybe understand when an uninformed moron of another team tries to play up that falsehood, but an actual fan of the team? C'MON, MAN!

 

[xwalker]

I love the draft but every year I have to do a gutcheck because Jerry Jones has given me plenty of ulcers over his draft picks over the years. I do believe Jason Garrett and Stephen Jones have Jerry on a very short leash so they can make some decent picks,but I expect the worse and envision what Jerry Jones would do if he locked out everyone from the draft war room and made all the picks. Believe me if I heard the rumors to be true Jerry the last 2 years 1st round picks would have been Johnny Manzeil and Randy Gregory at #4 overall. They had to talk him out of it.I have studied Jerry and it gives me brain cramps to think of his idiotic logic.,but here are a few things I do know.

1-He loves Arkansas. His Alma Mater and these Razorback players walk on water to Jerry. Don't believe me? Felix Jones 2nd string RB picked in the 1st round over Chris Johnson & Ray Rice.He kept Clint Stoerner & Anthony Lucas on the practice squad for freaking 3 years and they sucked big time Jerry hoping they could blossom with time.I guess Jerry was hoping a decade

2-Jerry likes weird and silly nicknames. He must think because you have a goofy name or some cute nickname that must mean you are good.-Peppi Zellner never even started at his famed powerhouse college.That Dominant power Fort Hayes State and Jerry selected Zellner in the 4th round. Ebenezer Ekuban,Aqwasi Owusuh-Ansah,Skyler Green.

3-He has not drafted one Miami Hurricane since the breakup with Jimmie Johnson. Jerry holds his petty grudges.So no Huricanes.

4-Jerry likes to find that Diamond in the Rough. He wants to find someone that none of the NFL has thought about. He will find some obscure school and think this guy could be good. Devern Johnson(Sacred Heart) Kavika Pittman(McNeese State),Stepfret Williams(I can't even remember this college)etc.

5-Jerry is fixated in finding pass rushers early-Greg Ellis 1st,Demarcus Ware 1st,Anthony Spencer 1st,Shante Carver 1st,Ebenzer Ekuban 1st,Demarcus Lawrence 2nd,Kavika Pittman 2nd,

6-Jerry feels the fans wrath and he will draft some Homer picks.The local kids to appease the fans. Texas A&M and instate Texas players.

7-Jerry is fixated by shiney objects. Someone right before the draft rumors that this guy is flying up the boards and Jerry is like a moth to a lightbulb totally hypnotized.

8-Jerry drafts TEs early also-Gavin Escobar 2nd,Martellus Bennett 2nd,Anthony Fasano 2nd,David LaFleur 1st,Jason Witten 3rd,Eric Bjornson ,etc,

9- Jerry likes Frankensteins. Big tall guys who can barely move and Jerry thinks you can make it. Sam Young? George Hegamen? Antonio Anderson?

10-Jerry doesn't mind criminals , lunatics, druggies,and maniacs.

11-Jerry constantly drafts midgets WRs. Zuriel Smith?,Skyler Green?,Stepfret Williams?


OK SO HERE IS MY JERRY JONES HAS LOCKED OUT EVERYONE Mock Draft


1-Taco Charlton DE Michigan-Jerry likes stupid nicknames and likes to draft pass rushers early.

2-Dan Skipper OT Arkansas- Jerry overrates his favorites. He likes big tall players who have little ability also. You run a forty that could be timed by a sun dial and Jerry is impressed. Also Arkansas so we should be ready for Jerry's favortism.

3-Michael Roberts TE Toledo.-Big Tall and his forty is below average. Can't get downfield,couldn't run a forty unless you put a chinese buffet line in front of him.

4-Jeremy Sprinkle TE Arkansas-Yes but Jerry just drafted a TE,but this is Jerry we are talking about and Sprinkle can be a boneheaded scumbag thief(which he is),but he played at Arkansas and Jerry is is Heaven right now.

No 5th round

6th-Jerelle Carter CB Trinity International.-yes you all have heard of this place right? It has to be some football powerhouse you don't know then?

7thA-Speedy Noll WR Texas A&M. Covers 3 things Homer crowd ,midget, and stupid nickname.

7thB- FREAKING KICKER!!! Actually this is low we draft kickers higher and if the kicker can a be a specialist I don't know he does something like he outruns our safeties or designated kicker every other time with the regular kicker, Jerry will do this.


So there we have it. So hope this softens the blow if Jerry gets his way. Hopefully you prepare for the worse and hope the best. Please somebody take the door off the Cowboys draft war room before jerry gets the idea to lock out everyone.

This is one of the worst posts ever. So much of it is easily disproven. They used 1 premium draft pick on an Arkansas player. Felix Jones was widely regarded as a 1st round pick and most media had him ahead of Chris Johnson.

Parcells drafted Anthony Fasano.

Why is DWare in the same sentence with Kavika Pittman?

Who are all these local homer picks? Teams get "free" visits with local players and sometimes draft them in late rounds. Name some from the top 4 rounds.

I don't recall an abundance of nicknames. Most nicknames come after they get here (You probably loved Golden Cock).


In regards to a player not starting in college. Zellner had academic problems that caused him to only to miss most of his college football games. He switched schools and played basketball. They only used a 4th round pick on him.

I don't recall any trend towards midgets or big slow guys.

Small college players... DWare, Larry Allen, Drew Pearson, Tony Romo...

 

[timb2]

Yeah, I stopped there too. I can maybe understand when an uninformed moron of another team tries to play up that falsehood, but an actual fan of the team? C'MON, MAN!

Falsehood? Are you kidding? Why Jerry is obsessed about Arkansas. This happen during the Campo Dark Years. I remember reading that a player who was an undrafted free agent told Jerry he was born in Arkansas and Jerry smiled and told the organization to sign him. He went out of his way to get Darren McFadden as soon as he was available as a free agent. An aging RB that was a bust in Oakland. Lucas and Stoerner stayed around and stayed around,other players would have been replaced in one year. He actually had Clint Stoerner start a regular season game and he then maybe the lightbulb came on that Stoerner sucked.. During the Wade Phillips years we kept expierementing with the Wildcat offense but Cowboys renamed it "THE RAZORBACK" Who do you think the Coaching staff was trying to appease? Yes Jerry loves Arkansas and he is a blind homer for them.

 

[GhostOfPelluer]

Only one NFC team has more wins in the past 10 seasons. No, it's not on par with the Patriots and there hasn't been a championship. But if Jerry has to own his shortcomings then he also gets to own his successes. He's not the bumbling fool many make him out to be.

 

[DFWJC]

The list kind of got blown up from the start with saying you "know" Jerry wants to draft Arkansas players.
Arkansas is under represented more than almost any large conference school in his drafts.

 

[timb2]

This is one of the worst posts ever. So much of it is easily disproven. They used 1 premium draft pick on an Arkansas player. Felix Jones was widely regarded as a 1st round pick and most media had him ahead of Chris Johnson.

Parcells drafted Anthony Fasano.

Why is DWare in the same sentence with Kavika Pittman?

Who are all these local homer picks? Teams get "free" visits with local players and sometimes draft them in late rounds. Name some from the top 4 rounds.

I don't recall an abundance of nicknames. Most nicknames come after they get here (You probably loved Golden Cock).


In regards to a player not starting in college. Zellner had academic problems that caused him to only to miss most of his college football games. He switched schools and played basketball. They only used a 4th round pick on him.

I don't recall any trend towards midgets or big slow guys.

Small college players... DWare, Larry Allen, Drew Pearson, Tony Romo...

All you Jerry lovers ,I'm sure you love the Golden Cock while thinking of Jerry. Why would you defend Jerry Jones? He told Jimmie Johnson to look at him for the television so it looked like Jerry was making the picks and not Jimmie .Jimmie made his era picks,you saw the dropoff as soon as Jimmie left... Great players drafted by Jerry like Quincy Carter. What idiot could not tell that Quincy could not pass unless it was a total flapping duck? Jerry Jones the only owner to get rid of a Super Bowl winning coach after he just won the Superbowl because of his own ego. He wanted the attention. That is exactly why he got Parcells out of here. He let Parcells build that team up and Jerry got him out of here so Jerry could get all the credit hoping for a Superbowl. We started the dropoff again after Parcells by year 2 absence. Keep Jerry on a short leash because instead of Dak Prescott we would have that midget drunk who had to go to drug rehab Johnny Football. Yes I hate Jerry Jones. What man gets plastic surgery? You are a man,be tough be rugged not worrying about wrinkles and getting a facelift. It shows his personality. The same Jerry who is married with grown kids and he posed in a stripclub with strippers in sexual poses that could have been his grancchildren. Did he really believe these strippers were into your 70 year old Skelator looking face? Jerry is a joke and HE IS THE REAL CANCER of this team....Stupid crap like coming down to the sidelines and thinking you are going to rally the players. Moron just sign the paychecks and get back to your booth. His ego having his own sports show THE JERRY JONES SHOW. Dude that is for the coaches and players not you. His nepotism to have all his children as the executives is a joke also.Unbelievable how really no one has just told Jerry "Less is More " Basically get out of the way and shut up. The sports media constantly baits Jerry for some stupid comment.

 

[timb2]

Just having Dave Campo for 3 years as the head coach and bringing that brown-noser back as the lowly secondary coach speaks volumes. I can't stand Dave Campo just the sight of him made me want to vomit. I realized his very first game againist the Eagles where they blew us out and Campo just smiled and winked at the camera that this organization was in big trouble. Jerry wants to run the Cowboys like a corporation. His mentality is as corporate. They mismanaged from the top and any idea someone thinks becomes theirs. They micro-manage and all it does is ruin morale throughout the company. I do believe that Jason Garrett got Stephen Jones on his side to try to straighten this crap out and it has been working,but I expect jerry to foul it up.Something stupid like "Tony Romo wouldn't have lost that game like Dak just did" or "Johnny Manzel is available and he is a team player" or "Jeff Heath can start and that's why I let Church & Wilcox go in free agency" Wait I think the last one just happened?

 

[timb2]

But....Deep in the confines of the Star in Frisco... I think that is the new luxury suite that Jerry gets to view the games at now. Hehehehhehttp://i1133.***BLOCKED***/albums/m600/DWAREZIZ/image_11.jpeg

 

[timb2]

That picture is priceless Rogerthat!!!!

 

[Sasquatch]

Good and funny idea for a post. Bad and rage inducing idea for an actual draft. Sadly, though I think it's not likely, I wouldn't be completely shocked if it ever happened.

 

[big dog cowboy]

1-He loves Arkansas. His Alma Mater and these Razorback players walk on water to Jerry. Don't believe me?

No I don't and frankly I stopped reading right there.

 

[BigDave95]

Believe me if I heard the rumors to be true Jerry the last 2 years 1st round picks would have been Johnny Manzeil and Randy Gregory at #4 overall.

It's hard to pick the dumbest part of this post but I'm going with this...

 

[GhostOfPelluer]

All you Jerry lovers ,I'm sure you love the Golden Cock while thinking of Jerry. Why would you defend Jerry Jones? He told Jimmie Johnson to look at him for the television so it looked like Jerry was making the picks and not Jimmie .Jimmie made his era picks,you saw the dropoff as soon as Jimmie left... Great players drafted by Jerry like Quincy Carter. What idiot could not tell that Quincy could not pass unless it was a total flapping duck? Jerry Jones the only owner to get rid of a Super Bowl winning coach after he just won the Superbowl because of his own ego. He wanted the attention. That is exactly why he got Parcells out of here. He let Parcells build that team up and Jerry got him out of here so Jerry could get all the credit hoping for a Superbowl. We started the dropoff again after Parcells by year 2 absence. Keep Jerry on a short leash because instead of Dak Prescott we would have that midget drunk who had to go to drug rehab Johnny Football. Yes I hate Jerry Jones. What man gets plastic surgery? You are a man,be tough be rugged not worrying about wrinkles and getting a facelift. It shows his personality. The same Jerry who is married with grown kids and he posed in a stripclub with strippers in sexual poses that could have been his grancchildren. Did he really believe these strippers were into your 70 year old Skelator looking face? Jerry is a joke and HE IS THE REAL CANCER of this team....Stupid crap like coming down to the sidelines and thinking you are going to rally the players. Moron just sign the paychecks and get back to your booth. His ego having his own sports show THE JERRY JONES SHOW. Dude that is for the coaches and players not you. His nepotism to have all his children as the executives is a joke also.Unbelievable how really no one has just told Jerry "Less is More " Basically get out of the way and shut up. The sports media constantly baits Jerry for some stupid comment.

 

[Angus12]

Falsehood? Are you kidding? Why Jerry is obsessed about Arkansas. This happen during the Campo Dark Years. I remember reading that a player who was an undrafted free agent told Jerry he was born in Arkansas and Jerry smiled and told the organization to sign him. He went out of his way to get Darren McFadden as soon as he was available as a free agent. An aging RB that was a bust in Oakland. Lucas and Stoerner stayed around and stayed around,other players would have been replaced in one year. He actually had Clint Stoerner start a regular season game and he then maybe the lightbulb came on that Stoerner sucked.. During the Wade Phillips years we kept expierementing with the Wildcat offense but Cowboys renamed it "THE RAZORBACK" Who do you think the Coaching staff was trying to appease? Yes Jerry loves Arkansas and he is a blind homer for them.

What a steaming load of bullflop. Jones has owned the team for nearly 30 years. And you're able to name a very small number of players that have even been on this team over all that time. And only one player that has been drafted out of Arkansas since Jones has owned the team. One. Frickin. Player. Yep. He sure is a blind homer for those Arkansas Razorbacks. The last Razorback drafted by the Cowboys (Not even Jerry) before Felix Jones was taken in 2008, was Jerry Dossey. In 1970.

Maybe we should be worried that Jerry is a huge Oklahoma Sooner homer. After all, we've drafted quite a few of them over the years. WAIT!! No. He's an Ohio St. homer. Or, uh... Oh. I know. He's a gotta be a Boise St. homer. He's just GOT to be. I mean, hell. We have three of them on the roster RIGHT NOW.

You want to continue believing this horseshat, be my guest. Keep putting it out there. We'll keep laughing. Win/win.