GimmeTheBall!
Junior College Transfer
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20 predictions of mine, made 30 years ago, when I was still of a sane mind.
1. By the year 2000, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, most people will walk around staring at their shoebox-size phones. Telephone cord connections will be available on every block to meet the demand.
2. Home phones will have a viewing TV screens on which to show images of grandmas and grandpas, sparing us the need to travel to hug and kiss these geezers.
3. The NFL will pay even an average QB $5 million a year, and women will be allowed, under Title V, to play the positions of center and TEs.
4. Iran, like China and Russia, will become a close ally, assuring us of gasoline for $1 a gallon.
5. Jackie Kennedy will write her memoir, admitting an affair with Nikita Kruschev and Rutger Hauer and John Madden. Boom!
6. The Jonas Brothers will surpass Bing Crosby, Frtank Sinatra,The Beatles, Michael Jackson and Slim Whitman in TOTAL worldwide sales of music and mammaralia.
7. Every home will have a helipad on the roof for people who use Jet Packs.
8. Steak, now harvested and imported from Mongolia, will cost $1.50 a pound. Beef jerky will be sold at all stores in what will be called Brown Box kiosks.
9. Americans will have computer/word processors at every post office to communicate with England and France and Mexico; electronic mail will cost $5.
10. Autos, found to be polluters and gasoline hogs, will be phased out and public buses with police aboard and fast trains will be the norm.
11. Russia, now a democracy, will be awarded a contract to monitor all U.S. elections.
12. Carson Daly will bed the most famous person in the world. He will marry
Scary Spice and be elected president.
13. Movies will be shipped in film canisters to homes for viewings for 1 month.
14. Credit cards will be issued to 8-year-olds and older to teach them responsible spending.
15. Only third president, the Chief justice and U.S. senators will have access to flying cars.
16. Porn will be available on TV between the hours of 3 and 5, and buyers will need motorized permissions to attest that the material is for educational purposes.
17. Penalties for weed will become Class A misdemeanors with minimum 7-day jail terms.
18. Women will be allowed in public topless. Men will wear bros and manzierres.
19. Art Linklater will be named NFL commissioner.
20. Black women will have blond hair. White women will go hairless. Fro's for mern will be the rage in China.
What predictions have you made, louts?
1. By the year 2000, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, most people will walk around staring at their shoebox-size phones. Telephone cord connections will be available on every block to meet the demand.
2. Home phones will have a viewing TV screens on which to show images of grandmas and grandpas, sparing us the need to travel to hug and kiss these geezers.
3. The NFL will pay even an average QB $5 million a year, and women will be allowed, under Title V, to play the positions of center and TEs.
4. Iran, like China and Russia, will become a close ally, assuring us of gasoline for $1 a gallon.
5. Jackie Kennedy will write her memoir, admitting an affair with Nikita Kruschev and Rutger Hauer and John Madden. Boom!
6. The Jonas Brothers will surpass Bing Crosby, Frtank Sinatra,The Beatles, Michael Jackson and Slim Whitman in TOTAL worldwide sales of music and mammaralia.
7. Every home will have a helipad on the roof for people who use Jet Packs.
8. Steak, now harvested and imported from Mongolia, will cost $1.50 a pound. Beef jerky will be sold at all stores in what will be called Brown Box kiosks.
9. Americans will have computer/word processors at every post office to communicate with England and France and Mexico; electronic mail will cost $5.
10. Autos, found to be polluters and gasoline hogs, will be phased out and public buses with police aboard and fast trains will be the norm.
11. Russia, now a democracy, will be awarded a contract to monitor all U.S. elections.
12. Carson Daly will bed the most famous person in the world. He will marry
Scary Spice and be elected president.
13. Movies will be shipped in film canisters to homes for viewings for 1 month.
14. Credit cards will be issued to 8-year-olds and older to teach them responsible spending.
15. Only third president, the Chief justice and U.S. senators will have access to flying cars.
16. Porn will be available on TV between the hours of 3 and 5, and buyers will need motorized permissions to attest that the material is for educational purposes.
17. Penalties for weed will become Class A misdemeanors with minimum 7-day jail terms.
18. Women will be allowed in public topless. Men will wear bros and manzierres.
19. Art Linklater will be named NFL commissioner.
20. Black women will have blond hair. White women will go hairless. Fro's for mern will be the rage in China.
What predictions have you made, louts?