PFT: Kornheiser makes Theisman look like a fool last night

[WoodysGirl]

Very funny exchange...
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ON FURTHER REVIEW, WE LOVE TONY​

Though we don't know whether ESPN's Tony Kornheiser stuck it to Joey Sunshine on Monday night for his 180-degree reversal regarding Terrell Owens, a bout of insomnia had us tuning back in for garbage time of the Packers-Bengals game. In so doing, we witnessed an exchange that, in light of our new mission to persuade the folks in Bristol to relieve Joe Theismann of his duties, has caused us to pull a 180 of our own regarding Kornheiser, who given that he was in Cincinnati will be dubbed "Kornholer" for the remainder of this specific item.
After Cincinnati receiver Reggie McNeal caught a touchdown pass from Doug Johnson, a discussion ensued regarding college quarterbacks who become wideouts at the next level.
Here is, verbatim, the key portion of the conversation regarding the requirements for a successful conversion. (Thank you, TiVo.)

Sunshine: I think you need a guy who's short, vertically challenged, maybe five-foot-nine, five-foot-ten with a lot of 'quicks' that can double as a kick returner. Those are the guys that can transition into professional football. To come in and just try and play the wide receiver position --

Kornholer (incredulous): He has to be short?


Sunshine: Well --


Kornholer: This is a prerequisite, to be short?


Sunshine: I think you need to be short and quick. I think that gives you an opportunity --


Kornholer: What if you were big and quick?


Sunshine: You don't have the 'quicks' when you're that tall.


Kornholer: Correct me if I'm wrong because you watch a lot more college football than I did [Editor's note: Tony, you'd make a great lawyer], wasn't there a quarterback recently from Arkansas who was the quarterback who then became a wide receiver in the NFL?


Tirico: Matt Jones.


Kornholer: Matt Jones, right? And he's big. Big and quick.


Sunshine: But not at the kick returning position.


Kornholer: (Makes barely audible noise connoting "Is this guy f'ing serious?")


Sunshine: No.


Tirico (wisely changing the subject): It's 48 to 17. . . .


Tony, you've found your niche. It's to call out Joey Sunshine wherever and whenever he says something stupid. That's your calling. Your destiny.

Through your weekly badgering of Theismann, he'll eventually be exposed for the fraud that he is, or he'll quietly resign and find a fifth-tier gig on CBS where the play-by-play man doesn't have the brains or the will to thoroughly and completely dismantle his stupid-*** assertions.

So thanks, Tony. We underestimated you. And we're rooting for you to mentally do to Theismann every Monday night that which Lawrence Taylor accomplished only once physically.

 

[diamond cutter]

This is the best. Kornholio will be a success if he keeps this up. Joey Sunshine will give him plenty of material and this will make listening to MNF tolerable.

 

[CrazyCowboy]

good one......

 

[montgod]

I agree...I can't understand how the **** Theisman got the job for MNF much less a job in announcing. As another overrated annoucer says, "He is HOOOOORRRRIBLEEE!!!" I really hope MNF makes a change quick because I can't stand hearing him on MNF. Is Aikman available? Madden....can he come back?

 

[peplaw06]

This is only the beginning. Kornheiser makes a living picking up on stupid things people say, and there is no bigger moron than Theesman.

I could tell that was the angle Kornheiser was going in his MNF announcing. He asks Theesman questions all the time, and many times in an incredulous tone. McGuire used to do the same thing, but he made stupid comments himself. Kornheiser isn't into making himself look dumb, he makes other people look dumb.

 

[lspain1]

I like Kornheiser, and I think he's a nice add to MNF.

 

[JPM]

PFT recaps Kornheiser making Theisman look like a fool last night

That's going to be a weekly occurrence.

 

[jumanji]

I'm telling you...I like it because he does poke fun of joe

 

[Danny White]

Joe is an idiot. He doesn't understand simple logic and causality.

Fact: most college QBs who convert to pro WR are short.

So Joe makes the flawed assumption that to make the transition, you have to be short. In fact, he has it completely backwards... if you're a talented athlete in college, you can get away with playing QB, but if you're too short to make the transition (but still a talented athlete), then you'll often get moved to another position (WR or utility/return guy).

The "Short" part is why they're MOVED, not why they're GOOD.

 

[skinsscalper]

ESPN will put the boots to this quickly. They won't have their golden boy looking like an idiot on a wekly basis, because in turn, they would look like idoits for putting him in the booth. 10 to 1 says you won't see Kornheiser making a habit of this. It justmy guess though.


Not to mention the fact that I'm sure, at the break, Joe gave Kornheiser the "Don't ever try and do that to me on the air again" horse****. Again if Kornheiser was "let go" for a "lack of on air chemistry", he would rip Joe to shreds in his other syndicated endeavors.


SS

 

[peplaw06]

ESPN will put the boots to this quickly. They won't have their golden boy looking like an idiot on a wekly basis, because in turn, they would look like idoits for putting him in the booth. 10 to 1 says you won't see Kornheiser making a habit of this. It justmy guess though.

Not to mention the fact that I'm sure, at the break, Joe gave Kornheiser the "Don't ever try and do that to me on the air again" horse****. Again if Kornheiser was "let go" for a "lack of on air chemistry", he would rip Joe to shreds in his other syndicated endeavors.

Now this could be a controversy I could get behind :laugh2:

 

[Danny White]

Again if Kornheiser was "let go" for a "lack of on air chemistry", he would rip Joe to shreds in his other syndicated endeavors.


SS

That's the thing. I really think Kornheiser's star is higher than Theismans... and if you're talking about ESPN golden boys, I think that much more applies to Korny.

Add on to that, I really don't think Kornheiser cares if he has this job or not. He's having fun doing it, I'm sure, but he's already predicted that he'll get fired after this year. I think he'll continue to have fun, and if he gets canned at some point, so be it.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

I do think Theisman is a fool and I'll likely be watching MNF with the radio on and the TV sound down this year, but I see Joe's point in this one. He was just saying that shorter guys are usually quicker than taller, longer-legged ones. Look at Randel-El, Steve Smith, Santana Moss, even our own Terry Glenn and Jamaica Rector. All are known for their quickness and none are tall. It's the same reason most cornerbacks are on the shorter side.

Matt Jones is a good example in the other direction. He may be really fast, but "quick" isn't a word you'd use to describe him.

 

[montgod]

That's the thing. I really think Kornheiser's star is higher than Theismans... and if you're talking about ESPN golden boys, I think that much more applies to Korny.

Add on to that, I really don't think Kornheiser cares if he has this job or not. He's having fun doing it, I'm sure, but he's already predicted that he'll get fired after this year. I think he'll continue to have fun, and if he gets canned at some point, so be it.

I agree in that I also think Kornheiser's star is bigger than Theismans, which is another reason why ESPN would can Theisman before Kornheiser. Kornheiser just being himself and not caring is another reason why he would keep his job over ...."Mr. Try to Hard" Theisman.

In the back of mind...I keep seeing the hit that Theisman took from LT and can't help but think that some part of his leg was connected to his brain. I mean...the foot does have the most nerve endings so that could explain his logic on football and everything else.

 

[baj1dallas]

uhh Matt Jones is not "quick". He's not shifty. He's a long strider. I love the player but I would have never called him quick. Deceptively fast though.

I think Thiesman refrained from making Kornheiser look stupid, to be honest. By changing the subject.

I don't get why you guys think Thiesman is so bad. He's far, far, far from the worst announcers on TV.

 

[Doomsdayblitz]

To tell you the truth, I would like to see BOTH replaced. Kornholer is only there to subtract from the game, & debate what is being said. He adds nothing but negativity to the presentation. We all know why Joey must go-the guy is a joke.

I watch football to see great athletes play the best game ever invented. I don't tune in to listen to negativity, or to hear one guy put it to another. The best team they ever had on MNF were Al Michaels, Dan Dierdorf, and just a little of Frank Gifford.
After a while, Gifford made so many mistakes, it got almost unbearable to watch. It wouldn't have made it any better for me, though, had Dierdorf ripped him for every stupid thing he said.

In fact, the best broadcast is one where the less said, the better...unless it's a super color guy like Madden or Aikman. The color guy otherwise should educate, maybe add a little of his experiences, and the play-by-play guy should explain what is going on down on the field. All of this other crap is just that.

 

[Crown Royal]

I can't recall how many times Theesman said 'speeded' instead of 'sped' last night.

Tense > Joe

 

[Kilyin]

Kornholer is just as stupid. He admitted that he didn't even know what a Quarterback rating is last night. I don't think I can take a whole season of these stooges.

 

[bobtheflob]

Here's the point that I think should have been made. Most receivers fall into 2 categories: short and quick, or big and strong (some gifted ones like TO have both). Since most quarterbacks aren't known for being real bulky and strong, they're more likely to fall into the first category. It doesn't mean they have to be short or anything. Theismann had a point, he just bumbled it so bad he looked like an idiot. For an announcer, not being able to convey your thoughts well is just as bad as not knowing what you're talking about and Theismann does a little of both.

 

[bobtheflob]

Kornholer is just as stupid. He admitted that he didn't even know what a Quarterback rating is last night. I don't think I can take a whole season of these stooges.

Do you know what a quarterback rating is? I sure don't, I just know what's good and what's bad but I'd have no idea how to calculate it myself. I think part of Tony's role in that booth is to reach out to the more casual fan, that's why he always asks Theismann to explain more technical football terms like qb rating and silent snap counts.