Sean Payton should be suspended for 8 games (humor)

fortdick

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............and the Saints lose all next years draft picks.

Roger Goodell is looking into a complaint filed by Jerry Jones into allegations that the New Orleans Saints had an unfair competitive edge during last seasons 42-17 win over the Cowboys. Jones alleges that Saints head coach Sean Payton had a copy of the Cowboys playbook from his years in Dallas and used that playbook to exploit the Cowboys defense. "Sean's familiarity with our schemes, personnel, and play calling gave him an unfair advantage," stated Jones. "It was almost as if he was stealing our signals!" the controversial owner said.

"In fact, what the Saints did to our defense probably kept us from winning the division and reaching another Super Bowl. By exposing our weaknesses, all the teams we played from that point on used the same gameplan to rendering our denfense ineffective." Jones continued. Jones went on to say that a clear message must be sent to prevent this kind of unfair trickiness in the future.

Saints coach Sean Payton responded, "That's football Jerry! Nee Neer Nee Neer! If Parcells hadn't been so entrenched in using that 1980's stuff he put on the field, I might have had a difficult time exploiting it. But, c'mon, cover two all game with Williams in deep half? You got to be kidding me!" quipped the boyish coach.

NFL Commishoner Roger Goodell was unavilable for comment, having been called to Washington, D.C., to handle another crisis that casts shadows on the integrity of the NFL. It is rumored that Commander coach Joe Gibbs has decided to replace starting quarterback Jason Campbell with his close, personal friend Mark Brunnel.

It has been told to this reporter that Gibbs has taken it upon himself to shop Campbell as trade material, offering the Commander 700 page offensive play book as an additional incentive for any team wanting Campbell. Gibbs is reported to have said, "If my players can't understand Al Saunders' playbook, no one else' can." These reports have not been confirmed, however, the Suffolk County District Attorney's Office is looking into the matter.
 

EGTuna

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I wonder if Jason Garrett (a former Miami coach) will be able to do something similar to Miami this weekend? One would hope.
 

actual29

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thats pretty crazy
its weird how all these 'cheating' instances are now popping up :confused:
 

Shango

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fortdick;1641985 said:
............and the Saints lose all next years draft picks.

Roger Goodell is looking into a complaint filed by Jerry Jones into allegations that the New Orleans Saints had an unfair competitive edge during last seasons 42-17 win over the Cowboys. Jones alleges that Saints head coach Sean Payton had a copy of the Cowboys playbook from his years in Dallas and used that playbook to exploit the Cowboys defense. "Sean's familiarity with our schemes, personnel, and play calling gave him an unfair advantage," stated Jones. "It was almost as if he was stealing our signals!" the controversial owner said.

"In fact, what the Saints did to our defense probably kept us from winning the division and reaching another Super Bowl. By exposing our weaknesses, all the teams we played from that point on used the same gameplan to rendering our denfense ineffective." Jones continued. Jones went on to say that a clear message must be sent to prevent this kind of unfair trickiness in the future.

Saints coach Sean Payton responded, "That's football Jerry! Nee Neer Nee Neer! If Parcells hadn't been so entrenched in using that 1980's stuff he put on the field, I might have had a difficult time exploiting it. But, c'mon, cover two all game with Williams in deep half? You got to be kidding me!" quipped the boyish coach.

NFL Commishoner Roger Goodell was unavilable for comment, having been called to Washington, D.C., to handle another crisis that casts shadows on the integrity of the NFL. It is rumored that Commander coach Joe Gibbs has decided to replace starting quarterback Jason Campbell with his close, personal friend Mark Brunnel.

It has been told to this reporter that Gibbs has taken it upon himself to shop Campbell as trade material, offering the Commander 700 page offensive play book as an additional incentive for any team wanting Campbell. Gibbs is reported to have said, "If my players can't understand Al Saunders' playbook, no one else' can." These reports have not been confirmed, however, the Suffolk County District Attorney's Office is looking into the matter.

:lmao:
 

utrunner07

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actual29;1641995 said:
thats pretty crazy
its weird how all these 'cheating' instances are now popping up :confused:

i do hope you are joking...this thread is a BAD attempt at a joke that just didnt work.
 

AsthmaField

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Nice try anyway, fd.

Some of these folks must have had their sense of humor surgically removed. Either that or their sense of humor has atrophied from the 3, 5-11 seasons we all had to go through.
 

JohnnyHopkins

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He should be punished by having to work under Parcells for another year!
 

dallasfaniac

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Boyzmamacita;1642028 said:
Most people got it (I hope), but sense of humor seems to be lacking around these parts lately.

Hold on, are you saying that none of that article was real? :confused:



Edit: btw, *******this was humor********
 

joseephuss

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Replace Jerry Jones and Sean Payton with Mark Cuban and Don Nelson and instead of a satire you will get a real story. A real sad story. :laugh1:
 
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