Seattle paper stereotyping the city of Dallas

theebs

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Cheers to Dallas for J.R., Cubes & 7-Eleven
By Bill Reader

Times assistant sports editor


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Mark Cuban


The easy thing to do, of course, would be to make fun of Dallas. To call it America's worst example of urban sprawl, a concrete mess inhabited by women with big hair and the men who love them.

It would just be wrong to call Big D a city that thinks recycling is for hippies, and that bicyclists make good moving targets, while making no mention of the vibrant arts scene, the fantastic restaurants and the Southern hospitality of this great, cosmopolitan city.

OK, then, let's get started.

Here it is, our completely uninformed and biased guide to Dallas trivia:

Movie people in Dallas wish had never been made: "Debbie Does Dallas."

Best TV show set in Dallas: Well, let's see ... oh yeah, "Dallas!" (And just wondering, is anyone ever going to make that "Dallas" movie with John Travolta as J.R.?)

Best reality TV show set in Dallas (unintentional comedy category): "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team." Seriously, you have to see this to believe it.

Crazy NBA owner: Mark "Cubes" Cuban. Doesn't Mark Cuban seem like a guy who should own the Sonics, and Clay Bennett like a guy who should own the Mavericks?

Tallest building: Bank of America Plaza, 921 feet. Sorry, but that's no match for the Columbia Center, Seattle's 967-foot tower of power.

Best bass player: Dusty Hill of ZZ Top was born in Dallas.

Best singer/guitarist from Dallas who we always thought was a woman until we did a Wikipedia search: Trini Lopez (big hit: "If I Had a Hammer," 1963).

Best guitar player: Dimebag Darrell (R.I.P.). The late, great Pantera guitarist was actually born in Arlington, but close enough.

New city slogan: "Live Large. Think Big."

Best golfer: Lee Trevino.

Best vixen: Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated actress Morgan Fairchild. (Bonus Morgan Fairchild trivia: She appeared in one episode of "Dallas." She dated John Kerry in the 1990s.)

Best sprinter: Michael Johnson, who won the 200- and 400-meter races at the 1996 Olympics, the 200 in the ridiculous time of 19.32 seconds, still a world record.

Girls gone wild: Dallas considered making a run at the 2008 Democratic or Republican national conventions, but decided not to because it might interfere with the Mary Kay cosmetics convention. The annual event draws 50,000 "pink ladies" to Dallas. "You've got to dance with the one who's brung ya," John Crawford, the chairman of Downtown Dallas, told the Dallas Morning News earlier this year.

Yes, the president was killed here: If you haven't had your fill of JFK assassination trivia on The History Channel, you can visit the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza.

Ways Dallas is better than Seattle: Dallas has NHL and MLS teams. (Of course, this is good news only if you're a hockey or soccer fan.) And the monthlong state fair seems like it would be pretty cool.

Thanks, Dallas: For 7-Eleven, car radios, frozen margaritas, ATMs, drive-up bank windows, the microchip and Barney, which all got their starts in Big D.

City that thinks it's better than Dallas: Houston.
 

CanadianCowboysFan

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It is just eastern, or in this case, Texas ***** envy.

I get that up here in Vancouver all the time. It is amazing how much of an ingeriority complex there is out west.
 

silverbear

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Lee Trevino was an El Paso boy... the first time I ever set foot on a golf course, it was at the Horizon CC where he had been an assistant pro very early in his career...
 

Rackat

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"Here it is, our completely uninformed and biased guide to Dallas trivia:"

LOL, at least he is honest about being uninformed and biased.
 

Chocolate Lab

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And we all ride horses and live in trailer parks, too. :rolleyes:

Although he might have been right on about the recycling and bicycle riders. :D
 

Clove

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Dallas, the home of a record 6 Super Bowl rings. Okay , nevermind.
 

Danny White

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I thought it was pretty harmless, and even unintentionally complimentary... like the recycling line. Go Dallas!
 

sacase

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What is the one thing seattle is known for......Suicide!

Maybe the writer shoudl go slit his wrists and join many of his other seattle bretheren.
 

superpunk

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In an attempt to be funny, they scored about 2 on the 1-10 scale. That was kind of weak.
 

CF74

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What?!!! No credit for inventing the corn dog??:mad:

Mr. Fletcher is gonna be upset:rolleyes:
 

CanadianCowboysFan

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sacase;1289387 said:
What is the one thing seattle is known for......Suicide!

Maybe the writer shoudl go slit his wrists and join many of his other seattle bretheren.


suicide and good music.
 

the kid 05

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What about all the Pro Athletes that come from Texas? honestly i'm from IL and i've read alot about how Texas is like NFL breading ground
 

Doomsday101

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the kid 05;1289419 said:
What about all the Pro Athletes that come from Texas? honestly i'm from IL and i've read alot about how Texas is like NFL breading ground

Texas High School is big time down here and many great players have come from this state.
 

the kid 05

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Doomsday101;1289423 said:
Texas High School is big time down here and many great players have come from this state.

My Offensive Cord was telling me about it, because i was hurt and couldn't play so he was talking about college yadda and we got into the Coaches in Texas H.S. he said they make more then the Super Attendent, i almost feel over laughing....at least they got their priorities set straight :D
 

Hostile

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theebs;1289292 said:
OK, then, let's get started.

Here it is, our completely uninformed and biased guide to Dallas trivia:
boy, they got the part in bold right.

Movie people in Dallas wish had never been made: "Debbie Does Dallas."
It's also the movie Seattle loves best. Go figure.

Best TV show set in Dallas: Well, let's see ... oh yeah, "Dallas!" (And just wondering, is anyone ever going to make that "Dallas" movie with John Travolta as J.R.?)
"Frasier was so much better right?" He couldn't even nail his horn dog producer, Roz. Girly man.

Best reality TV show set in Dallas (unintentional comedy category): "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team." Seriously, you have to see this to believe it.
Reality TV as a category? Tells you all you need to know about Seattle entertainment doesn't it? Moving on...

Crazy NBA owner: Mark "Cubes" Cuban. Doesn't Mark Cuban seem like a guy who should own the Sonics, and Clay Bennett like a guy who should own the Mavericks?
Did anyone besides me see this as envy?

Tallest building: Bank of America Plaza, 921 feet. Sorry, but that's no match for the Columbia Center, Seattle's 967-foot tower of power.
Well, good for the Columbia Center. Our stadium will kick the butt of anything in your fair city.

Best bass player: Dusty Hill of ZZ Top was born in Dallas.
Who's the best bass player born in Seattle? I confess I don't even know.

Best singer/guitarist from Dallas who we always thought was a woman until we did a Wikipedia search: Trini Lopez (big hit: "If I Had a Hammer," 1963).
What the hell is this about? Was their claim to fame in this category Tiny Tim and his mandolin? If it is would anyone care or be in awe?

Best guitar player: Dimebag Darrell (R.I.P.). The late, great Pantera guitarist was actually born in Arlington, but close enough.
At least they acknowledge he was great.

New city slogan: "Live Large. Think Big."
The "Peerless City" melts their butter huh?

Best golfer: Lee Trevino.
Uh, hello...Ben Hogan? Holy crap, Trevino is from El Paso.

Best vixen: Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated actress Morgan Fairchild. (Bonus Morgan Fairchild trivia: She appeared in one episode of "Dallas." She dated John Kerry in the 1990s.)
No love for Angie Harmon? Or is she not a vixen?

Best sprinter: Michael Johnson, who won the 200- and 400-meter races at the 1996 Olympics, the 200 in the ridiculous time of 19.32 seconds, still a world record.
Has Seattle had a sprinte of note?

Girls gone wild: Dallas considered making a run at the 2008 Democratic or Republican national conventions, but decided not to because it might interfere with the Mary Kay cosmetics convention. The annual event draws 50,000 "pink ladies" to Dallas. "You've got to dance with the one who's brung ya," John Crawford, the chairman of Downtown Dallas, told the Dallas Morning News earlier this year.
Okay, this one is actually funny.

Yes, the president was killed here: If you haven't had your fill of JFK assassination trivia on The History Channel, you can visit the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza.
Tasteless.

Ways Dallas is better than Seattle: Dallas has NHL and MLS teams. (Of course, this is good news only if you're a hockey or soccer fan.) And the monthlong state fair seems like it would be pretty cool.
I'll take Dallas 5 Super Bowl wins over everythign Seattle has ever accomplished in sports put together.

Thanks, Dallas: For 7-Eleven, car radios, frozen margaritas, ATMs, drive-up bank windows, the microchip and Barney, which all got their starts in Big D.
The Cowboys too. How soon they forget.

City that thinks it's better than Dallas: Houston.
Cities that actually are...

Thank you and goodnight.
 

TEK2000

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the kid 05;1289433 said:
My Offensive Cord was telling me about it, because i was hurt and couldn't play so he was talking about college yadda and we got into the Coaches in Texas H.S. he said they make more then the Super Attendent, i almost feel over laughing....at least they got their priorities set straight :D

That's not entirely true. Most schools that I know of have a tendency to keep the Principal and Super Intendent at least higher paid than the football coach. I'm sure the Principals and SI's don't mind because that definitely hikes their pay up if they work for schools with successful football programs.
 

bbgun

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Unless you're from Dallas, I don't know why you'd be upset. As a Yankee fan, I fully realize the Bronx is a hellhole.
 

Maikeru-sama

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bbgun;1289506 said:
Unless you're from Dallas, I don't know why you'd be upset. As a Yankee fan, I fully realize the Bronx is a hellhole.

Im from Dallas and this article doesn't offend me one bit. I doubt it would offend anyone else around here either.

What is offensive is that he actually thought he was funny :cool: .

- Mike G.
 

jackrussell

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Well, good for the Columbia Center. Our stadium will kick the butt of anything in your fair city.

Wouldn't Arlington have those bragging rights?
 
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