The 1,000 deceased Philly Fan Genocide

[Melonfeud]

This is a time killing/ boredom passing thread designed to illustrate the single demise of one of those 1,000 (+) known Philadelphia Eagles fans of unsavoury persona, who suffer their inconsequential passing away in their life's endeavors in some of the most hilariously short
( I.e. a paragraph or two,,,don't write a book)& unseemly manners of ingenious ingenuity of which you fellow forum fellows of DALLAS COWBOYS fandom can start off the 2019 season by dropping a handful of sand in their skivvies before Dak& co. apply the double dose of seasonal eye opening butt crack splitting wedgie to those poser spines once again,,,there fore,I shall dispatch "PEF" #1,000 counting down to "PEF" #1 by stating:


pef #1,000 suffered a lingering painful death due to that lethal dose of brain eating strain of syphilis she'd apparently contracted somewhere along the way while fulfilling her life long career as the county dog catcher

 

[Xelda]

The title of the thread shows promise.

 

[cowboyec]

pef #999......electrocuted by screwing in a shower light with the water running

 

[Runwildboys]

PEF #998 - 27 year old man, killed by 7 year old girls, while performing as Elsa, from Frozen at his son's birthday party and singing "Let it Go", off key.

 

[Melonfeud]

PEF#997 choked out to his demise on a Vienna sausage , while practicing for the upcoming Philadelphia Eagles Fan all male review of all things gay & needle point tournament

 

[cowboyec]

pef #996...mauled by a grizzly while on a hike...he forgot there was a philly cheese steak in his backpack.

 

[Melonfeud]

PEF #995 was decapitated by the hind hooves of a horse, while he was attempting to acquire a "hot meal" from the horses anal spincter orifice

 

[Runwildboys]

PEF #994 - Died of fatigue, trying to figure out an escalator.

 

[CouchCoach]

500 dead at the top of streetlight poles in downtown Philly by rabid squirrels infuriated at turf invasion while tight roping power lines.

499 dead with broken necks when the lid fell on them while getting a drink of water.

1 dead form eating uncooked frozen food and the one responsible for the warning on the package.

 

[cowboyec]

pef #993...fell off his high-rise apt's window seal trying to curl up for a "cat-nap"...whoops.

 

[Melonfeud]

500 dead at the top of streetlight poles in downtown Philly by rabid squirrels infuriated at turf invasion while tight roping power lines.

499 dead with broken necks when the lid fell on them while getting a drink of water.

1 dead form eating uncooked frozen food and the one responsible for the warning on the package.

*that lame duck don't quack in the required intent of the thread,ELDER BROTHER

Therefore, yer contributing post will be logged as dead PEF unit#993 & @cowboyec 's dead PEF unit is now #992 ,,,er,,,yer' ongoing participation is awaited in esteemed anticipation

 

[Melonfeud]

PEF #991 Being an inner city modern day "Rat trapper" fell prey to the poisoned peanut butter & crack cocaine sandwich of which he'd previously used as bait on a new trap set he'd laid out the day before & ingested it.

 

[Sammy]

PEF #990 Fell off his high horse, broke a wing and had to be put down.

 

[Runwildboys]

*that lame duck don't quack in the required intent of the thread,ELDER BROTHER

Therefore, yer contributing post will be logged as dead PEF unit#993 & @cowboyec 's dead PEF unit is now #992 ,,,er,,,yer' ongoing participation is awaited in esteemed anticipation

I was gonna say something, but he's the Grand Poobah of the PJG, and it's his responsibility to hijack threads...So I'm not gonna chastise him for setting a good example for the rest of the PJG. (Postjackers' Guild, if you're unfamiliar)

 

[Runwildboys]

PEF #989 looked in the mirror, while donned in head to toe Eagles gear, and killed himself with a can opener....non-electric.

 

[nobody]

#375 "Packed snow around a battery and threw it at Santa. Santa later tracked him down, dismembered him, and fed him to Donner. It was a real party."

 

[Runwildboys]

#375 "Packed snow around a battery and threw it at Santa. Santa later tracked him down, dismembered him, and fed him to Donner. It was a real party."

Ummm, you're Black Ops, not the Grand Poobah.

 

[Melonfeud]

I was gonna say something, but he's the Grand Poobah of the PJG, and it's his responsibility to hijack threads...So I'm not gonna chastise him for setting a good example for the rest of the PJG. (Postjackers' Guild, if you're unfamiliar)

lmao ,,,&,,,COPY,,,


* perfectly cool, yer my fellow brethren of operationally glued tight unit cohesive WHAM-JAMMERS on the roster anyway

 

[Melonfeud]

#375 "Packed snow around a battery and threw it at Santa. Santa later tracked him down, dismembered him, and fed him to Donner. It was a real party."

*yer' mathematics in the cyphering just ain't registering all that high up in yer' + factor of salient features in the strong qualities,,, eh,,,mister Deficient in the refined art of the Simplest Math-a-magician

 

[Melonfeud]

PEF #987 While engaged in a local street corner farting contest, succumbed to the horrid aftermath of an atomic Nagasaki type delivery