The One Universal Secret To A Lasting Marriage

[big dog cowboy]

The One Universal Secret To A Lasting Marriage
Laura Kenney
Managing Editor, Yahoo Health
January 9, 2015

Agree to disagree. Never go to bed angry. Relationships aren’t about sex. Have sex twice weekly. Always sleep naked.

The unsolicited advice you receive when you’re married or in a long-term relationship is as varied as it is contradictory. And confusing — if you go to bed agreeing to disagree, should you sleep naked?

Luckily, new research has boiled the key to spousal success down to one simple tip. And this tip holds true worldwide, across cultures, ages and incomes: Find a significant other who is also your best friend.

A new paper from The National Bureau of Economic Research analyzed wellbeing data from two national surveys in the United Kingdom and the Gallup World Poll to search for common threads that weave together a happy marriage.

They found that the biggest similarity among happily committed relationships worldwide — and the largest point of difference among those who are not married or partnered — was friendship. Approximately half of married people and of those who are cohabiting list their partner as their best friend. Conversely, less than 5 percent of people in any other marital status consider their partner to be their best friend.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/health/the-universal-secret-to-a-lasting-marriage-107596396452.html

 

[Teren_Kanan]

To each their own. All I can go by is experience.
Just celebrated 9 years with my GF on Jan 2nd. We've never gotten into an argument, dead serious. Little disagreements? Sure, you can't live with someone for years without being annoyed with them plenty, but no harsh verbal disagreements, raised voices, etc.

She is not my best friend. She could never be my best friend, and I would never describe her as such. We have not one single hobby in common (Unless Eating and Sex count). I don't like or much care for the stuff she's interested in, and she doesn't care about any of the stuff I'm interested in.

How does it work? Heck if I know. It's so opposite of what is socially considered a "Good relationship". All I know is I am absolutely true to myself when I'm with her. She accepts it and loves me as I am, and I her.

I think a big part of our success comes from the fact that we've had opposite schedules our entire relationship. She has always had a job where she's had to get up early and work at like 6/7am, and I've always had a job where I don't even get off work until after 2-6am. So I wake up when she gets home from work, we get an hour or so before she goes to bed, then the cycle repeats. We have Sunday's off together, so we do whatever on those days, go out to eat etc. When you don't get to spend a lot of time with someone, you always have plenty to talk about/catch up on, and a lot less reason to argue about petty crap. Time together is far more valuable when you don't get it constantly I guess.

So my advice for relationships would be spend less time together, to enjoy the time you DO spend together more. Quality > Quantity imo.

We don't sleep together in the same bed due to our schedules, so never really go to sleep angry. Never something I've had to worry about.

 

[cajuncocoa]

Married 37 years. Yes, my husband is definitely my best friend (even tho he's a Saints fan)

 

[65fastback2plus2]

Best friend FTW! My wife is the last person I could do without

 

[Idgit]

Eating and sex better be considered hobbies. Otherwise, my only hobby is the Dallas Cowboys, and that would be unhealthy.

 

[Teren_Kanan]

Eating and sex better be considered hobbies. Otherwise, my only hobby is the Dallas Cowboys, and that would be unhealthy.

lol.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

I can get on board with that. My wife has been my best friend for the entire twenty years we have been together.

 

[CashMan]

To each their own. All I can go by is experience.
Just celebrated 9 years with my GF on Jan 2nd. We've never gotten into an argument, dead serious. Little disagreements? Sure, you can't live with someone for years without being annoyed with them plenty, but no harsh verbal disagreements, raised voices, etc.

She is not my best friend. She could never be my best friend, and I would never describe her as such. We have not one single hobby in common (Unless Eating and Sex count). I don't like or much care for the stuff she's interested in, and she doesn't care about any of the stuff I'm interested in.

How does it work? Heck if I know. It's so opposite of what is socially considered a "Good relationship". All I know is I am absolutely true to myself when I'm with her. She accepts it and loves me as I am, and I her.

I think a big part of our success comes from the fact that we've had opposite schedules our entire relationship. She has always had a job where she's had to get up early and work at like 6/7am, and I've always had a job where I don't even get off work until after 2-6am. So I wake up when she gets home from work, we get an hour or so before she goes to bed, then the cycle repeats. We have Sunday's off together, so we do whatever on those days, go out to eat etc. When you don't get to spend a lot of time with someone, you always have plenty to talk about/catch up on, and a lot less reason to argue about petty crap. Time together is far more valuable when you don't get it constantly I guess.

So my advice for relationships would be spend less time together, to enjoy the time you DO spend together more. Quality > Quantity imo.

We don't sleep together in the same bed due to our schedules, so never really go to sleep angry. Never something I've had to worry about.

This just sounds like you have just a friend, not an actual marriage type situation. I've been married 3yrs and been with her 6yrs. 100% my best friend.

 

[PJTHEDOORS]

She is not my best friend. She could never be my best friend, and I would never describe her as such. We have not one single hobby in common

Wow.

 

[Teren_Kanan]

Wow.

Crazy eh?

Yeah I donno. We don't do the same things or have the same interests at all, except for one another. It's very hard to explain to people, but it's definitely not normal.

9 of my best years with this woman tho, and going strong.

 

[CashMan]

Crazy eh?

Yeah I donno. We don't do the same things or have the same interests at all, except for one another. It's very hard to explain to people, but it's definitely not normal.

9 of my best years with this woman tho, and going strong.

I think the wow, was more of a, I can't believe he just said that, not praising you.

 

[Teren_Kanan]

I think the wow, was more of a, I can't believe he just said that, not praising you.

That's how I took it.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Married 37 years. Yes, my husband is definitely my best friend (even tho he's a Saints fan)

I always thought you were a guy

 

[WPBCowboysFan]

Relationships aren’t about sex. Have sex twice weekly.

They arent?

Twice weekly? Huh? Shouldnt it be twice daily?

 

[Longboysfan]

(even tho he's a Saints fan)

Sorry to hear that.

 

[jimmy40]

my wife and I always laugh at the commercials for eHarmony etc, because we would have to be the last two single people left before they would put us together, we'll be having our 25th anniversary in May.

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

my wife and I always laugh at the commercials for eHarmony etc, because we would have to be the last two single people left before they would put us together, we'll be having our 25th anniversary in May.

Congrats!!!!

One year for us this February!