Another Thread To Get to Know Each Other

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Hostile, Jun 14, 2005.

  1. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received
    To celebrate #13k I decided another thread where we learn more about each other might be fun. I also decided one where we can laugh a little bit would be nice. You get to laugh at me first.

    What is your most embarrassing moment?


    I was a skinny 16 year old kid and a lady in my home town died. I had worked for her husband for a while so they asked me to be a pallbearer. I had never done that before.

    This woman weighed over 300 pounds. They put me left handed at the head of the casket and I was struggling. On top of that they had us wearing gloves which made it slippery.

    Around the grave was some astroturf and the frame you set the casket on to be lowered into the grave. The frame was sitting on some 2 x 4's that I couldn't see under the astroturf.

    I also didn't see the pallbearers in front of me step up over the 2 x 4's. My left foot tripped on the board and I went right under the casket and into the grave. I was hanging onto the bottom of the casket over the gaping hole.

    I said, "not me God, the lady in the box." The other five pallbearers now had my weight added to hers and my joke nearly caused them to drop it right on my head. They did their level best to not laugh.

    The Catholic Priest Father Thomas was snickering while saying the prayer to bless the grave. Me, I was trying to get out of the pit and untangled from the straps on the crane that lowers the casket.

    So, I finally get out and we set the casket down. I was frantically cleaning the dirt off my pants. Then I noticed that the other pallbearers all removed their gloves and placed them on the casket. So I did the same. There were 5 beautiful, pristine white gloves and one very brown pair.

    Funeral over we got back in the Limo that brought us to the cemetary from the Church. Father Thomas got in with us even though he had ridden to the cemetary in the hearse. As soon as the door closed the 6 of them all lost it. I thought they were going to have accidents. I was so embarrassed.

    Father Thomas, who was a very funny man BTW, put his arm around me and begged me to never become a Catholic so that he wouldn't have to see me at Mass and try to keep a straight face.

    It's funny now, but when it happened I was mortified.
  2. Kilyin

    Kilyin Well-Known Member

    8,041 Messages
    244 Likes Received
    Hilarious story. I don't think anyone is going to be able to top that.
  3. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received
    Especially if no one responds.

    Okay, here's another from me.

    I was a lifeguard in my hometown every summer. One Saturday night me, my brother and a couple of friends were really bored so we decided to go for a swim. Since I had the keys this was rather easy.

    After a while just swimming wasn't exciting enough we decided to skinny dip and do all kinds of dives like butt busters, and stuff.

    Pretty soon that wasn't exciting enough and we decided to jump on the bath house and moon cars on the highway. Like no one in town wouldn't know it was us. We were the only kids in town dumb enough to do this.

    We had our trunks stashed in the pool in various spots so that if a car came up the driveway we could get them on real quick.

    Sure enough a car turned up the long driveway to the pool which is located behind a small park. We all took off for our trunks.

    I dove in at the shallow end and swam under water all the way to the deep end and my trunks. I was still under water trying to pull them on. I got the leg holes up top and the waist hole below, so I had to get out of them and try again. Then I got both legs in one hole. Then both legs in the other hole.

    I was now in trouble. Finally I got one leg in each hole and came up for air. Lo and behold I had them on backwards. At that point I did not care. I just needed air.

    The car pulls up and the older brother of one of my fellow skinny dippers gets out. He was a fireman and we all looked up to him. He says "hi guys" and strips his clothes off and jumps in. We were relieved and stripped our duds right back off. He swam to the ladder in the deep end and said he wanted to see who could do the best butt buster.

    Now we're 4 teenage boys trying to impress him and we went all out. We were doing all kinds of embarrassing stuff. He sat on the ladder and laughed his a** off. Finally after 10 minutes the other car door opened and his girlfriend got out of the car applauding the show we were putting on.

    To this day, I can't look Desiree in the eyes.
  4. WoodysGirl

    WoodysGirl U.N.I.T.Y Staff Member

    74,215 Messages
    23,012 Likes Received
    This happened when I was about 20-21. My friend and I were at the Prairie View-Grambling game in Dallas. And we were dressed all cute, cuz we knew we were hitting up some parties after and we didn't want to drive back to FW to change.

    So anyway, it had been raining that day and the ground was kinda slick. (You guys should know where this is going). If anyone has been to the Cotton Bowl, you know the grounds are sloped.

    Long story short, my friend and I were walking down one of the slopes out of the Cotton Bowl and as I was talking to my friend about how slick the ground was and was saying at the very moment I did it, "Girl, wouldn't it be funny if I fellllllllll!!!!!!" I was saying "fell" as I was falling.

    Yes, I fell at the game. Busted my azz in front of a ton of folks and it was not pretty. Folks scattered. I had a nice lil area to myself on the ground. My friend was looking around like, "Where'd she go??" Now, of course, the girls were laughing. And the dudes was holding back or at least trying to while offering to help me up.

    I told them to just leave me alone and let me get up. The attention was more embarassing than the fall. I said screw it and took off my nice cute shoes until we got by the concession stands.

    So THAT is one of my most embarassing moments.
  5. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

    47,596 Messages
    20 Likes Received
    The worst one I can think of right now is splitting the front of my pants while bowling. I still don't know when it happened but needless to say I didn't finish the game. Luckily had on undies and since it was winter time I had a jacket to hide the huge rip in my pants.
  6. WoodysGirl

    WoodysGirl U.N.I.T.Y Staff Member

    74,215 Messages
    23,012 Likes Received
    I actually fell in a bowling alley too. :D

    I went to toss the ball and lost my balance and yes, I busted my azz again. In front of some major cute guys, too. I think that's why I'm still single. Guys think I'll trip on our date and embarass THEM, too.. :eek:
  7. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

    47,596 Messages
    20 Likes Received
    I think you are just too picky and are comparing them to an unreachable standard.....Darren :D
  8. Aikmaniac

    Aikmaniac Well-Known Member

    4,597 Messages
    551 Likes Received
    Good topic, Hos.

    If I remember right, it was my 9-year-old birthday party. I had my bestest friend in the whole wide world over. He and I were big-time Stallone fans and we always acted out scenes from his movies. Of course, Rocky was a favorite. So, me and him are "sparring" there in the living room and all of the sudden, WHAMO, he hits me square in the nose. He said I walked into it, but I beg to differ.

    So, a long story short, my nose wouldn't stop bleeding...even during the party. Of course, my good ol' Dad wanted to tape the party since the whole family was over...and there I am in the video holding a rag up my nose the evening trying to act all happy. My buddy wouldn't stop apologizing.

    Such a long time ago, but I can re-live it anytime with a VCR.
  9. WoodysGirl

    WoodysGirl U.N.I.T.Y Staff Member

    74,215 Messages
    23,012 Likes Received
    Nah, My extreme fondness for Darren has only been around 13 or so years. I'm a little older than that.
  10. jksmith269

    jksmith269 Proud Navy Veteran 1990-1995

    3,935 Messages
    53 Likes Received
    Picture it 1984 Scocastee High school in Myrtle Beach SC.

    I'm in eighth grade playing JV football. anyway were playing at home and we are receiving a kickoff. I was deep returner and the kickoff is short and the up return man ducks the Football instead of catching it. Well I run over pick up the ball make a few moves and break free. As I crossed our own 40 yard line the last guy I needed to beat dove and caught my pants at the belt line well I kept on trying to run basically dragging him for about 5 or so yards holding the ball in one hand and my pants in the other well I got hit from behind and let go of my pants and covered the ball up with both hands low and behold my pants, cup and undies all went down to my ankles as I went down Head first the momentum rolled us over right in front of our cheerleaders and our sideline. I actually heard My mother yell "look there's Jacks Butt" well as I get up everyone is laughing coaches, Fans mostly parents and students I had to see every day, and the cheerleaders. Well I pulled up my pants and just ran back to the huddle like nothing had happened. Now that was tough but later that night I'm on a date with one of the opposing cheerleaders and girls I didn't even know came up asking me if it was my butt that flashed everyone that day. Whats even worse is my mother never fails to tell that story anytime were down to visit her.
  11. WoodysGirl

    WoodysGirl U.N.I.T.Y Staff Member

    74,215 Messages
    23,012 Likes Received
    You were literally azz out!!!!! :lmao2:
  12. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received
    Aren't Moms great? Mine loves to tell people about me dangling from the casket bottom.
  13. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received
    Just tell 'em you got new feet. ;)
  14. cowboyfan4life_mark

    cowboyfan4life_mark 5 outta 8 ain't bad

    3,029 Messages
    112 Likes Received
    OK, I'll play.

    I was about 13 or 14, and caught up with this girl Melissa walking down the street. Melissa was new to the area and very cute. I asked if I could walk with her to which she smiled and said sure. Now that smile put me on cloud nine. I was really trying to pay attention to what I said and how I said it, because I wanted to impress her. I also knew that the sidewalk that we were walking on was in very bad shape so when I turned to walk backwards so that I could face her, I knew to pick my heels up so I wouldn't trip and fall on my butt. Well, that worked out until I was answering a question of hers when I turned around right into a telephone pole!!!

    And yes, I did get to date her for awhile even after that.
  15. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received
  16. TheEnigma

    TheEnigma Anomaly

    1,042 Messages
    128 Likes Received
    I don't know about that, falling would probably be bonus points in my book. It shows number one your tenderness and number two that I the guy would have someone to take care of and watch over.

    (Even though none of you really know me in the first place) I can't remember any embarrassing stories. Usually embarrassing stories happen in front of attractive people of the opposite sex (as seen by everybodies stories so far) and I am always suave around girls :D

    Actually, I just don't remember things like that. I'm pretty anti-suave around girls but it hasn't gotten me into trouble yet.
  17. blindzebra

    blindzebra Well-Known Member

    10,410 Messages
    1,938 Likes Received
    I was working in a photo lab when Braveheart came out and we were goofing around doing lines from the movie in a heavy scottish accent when a customer came in and I said, "May I help you," sounding a lot like groundskeeper Willy on the Simpsons.
  18. junk

    junk I've got moxie

    9,294 Messages
    247 Likes Received
    Skinny dipping with guys and doing something called a "butt buster".....embarassing indeed. :D
  19. Juke99

    Juke99 ...Abbey someone

    22,271 Messages
    3 Likes Received
    My most embarrassing moment is admitting that Hos is a friend after reading his pallbearer story.


  20. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

    119,480 Messages
    4,173 Likes Received

    I thought it was bad enough when you couldn't explain downbeat versus upbeat to me. Now I'm really ostracized.

Share This Page