Anti-soccer blog post

Discussion in 'Sports Zone' started by bbgun, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. bbgun

    bbgun Benched

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    The Dreadful Game
    by Steve Czaban


    It didn't take long to remind us ignorant soccer haters what it is about the game we so loathe.

    Answer: everything.

    The US and England was hyped to the moon and I fell for it. Even cutting short yardwork to make sure I was inside at the specifically mentioned “1:30” game time I had been hearing all week.

    Of course, game time was really 2:30, so I swallowed good chunks of Mike Tirico and some other dude I've never seen doing pre-game.

    Oh. Sorry. Pre-”match”. Soccer lingo.

    Some ninety odd minutes and orange slices later, we had an entirely un-satisfactory 1-1 tie for all of that hype and build-up.

    The British side was pissed. The Yanks were sheepishly happy. And I had dozed off to the drone of the vuvuzelas.

    Soccer is just as bad to watch as it was when I left it, which was four years ago at the last World Cup. You know, the one where the idiotic Frenchman headbutted an opponent costing his nation the Cup. Don't ask me about the rest of that year's tournament. That's all I remember.

    Right off the bat, this year's Cup fell into comfortable cliches. Two games. Two goals. Two ties.

    Ah yes, but I know. If I only had the requisite soccer knowledge and global sporting intellect, those 2 goals would have been the crown jewels on a subtle and complex tapestry woven by the 22 players on the pitch.

    But I don't. I'm American, and I prefer my sports to be interesting.

    The reasons why soccer hasn't “caught on” here as a spectator sport are obvious. And the rest of the world isn't changing it for our sake. A decision with which I concur. You'll never convert us anyway, so why mess with a winning product everywhere else?

    There are many stupid things about soccer, but the lack of scoring remains the stupidest.

    A 1-0 deficit, and your side is playing with the burden of 11 elephants on their backs.
    A 2-0 deficit and you are now just out there getting some exercise.
    A 3-0 defeat and the newspapers back home will call you an “embarassment.”

    This level of scoring just doesn't make sense.

    It is so hard to score in soccer, it would be like basketball played on 30 foot rims.

    Soccer eliminates the most fundamentally exciting thing about sports: the comeback.

    There are no comebacks in soccer. If a team comes back to win a game after going down 3-0, it'll become local lore on par with a Loch Ness Monster sighting.

    “Ah, yes, laddie. 'Member da time when Tottenham came back aginst ManU ta win dat one, four da tree?”

    “Sure do, laddie. Octoober ninth, nine-teen-fifty-one. Da greetest dah in Hotspur histray!”

    My humble suggestion for soccer would be to do away entirely with “off-sides.” I mean, how bad would the game look in comparison to now? You have 11 guys, so do we. If a guy is cherry picking, you might want to mark him. Spread out the players, open some lanes, allow for some over-the-top passing.

    And for god sakes, get the goal count comfortably into the 5 to 4 range per game.

    A quality effort for a soccer team usually produces perhaps 10-12 goal scoring “chances.” Not necessarily shots, or even shots-on-frame, but just a dozen moments where you actually say: “Hey, in theory, this team might score here.”

    Assuming 20 quality chances per game total, over 90 plus minutes, that's barely one every five minutes.

    And soccer fanatics like to rip the NFL for all of the “breaks in the action.” Child, please.

    Hey, huddles in football don't last 4 minutes. And you can score from anywhere on the field.

    Either team.

    In spectacular fashion.

  2. Doomsday

    Doomsday Rising Star

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    You have to be a little off to watch a game that can go on for 90 plus minutes and yeild a 0-0 score and no winner.
  3. bbgun

    bbgun Benched

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    Well, yes and no. As a baseball fan, I can enjoy a stellar 0-0 pitcher's duel, but I wouldn't want to make a habit of it.
  4. Doomsday

    Doomsday Rising Star

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    I agree but they dont call it a draw after the 9th inning either.
  5. Rampage

    Rampage Benched

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    can't say I disagree with anything in that article. here's another reason why soccer sucks. I finally got a friend of mine from work to bet on something against me and it was 50 bucks on the USA-England game. that was pointless since it ended in a freaking tie.:rolleyes:
  6. juck

    juck Well-Known Member

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    Dude ,you need a new avatar i'd say. lol. Mr.T ahem perhaps.;)
  7. juck

    juck Well-Known Member

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    Hockey is worse. They dont score and you cant see the puck anyway,lol. I will say this Soccer players are definitely the most fit athletes,man do they run a lot.
  8. tomson75

    tomson75 Brain Dead Shill

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    Well that's about as stupid a comment as I've seen in some time.

    First of all, its on you if your *** won't buy an HD tv or some contact lenses. Secondly, they score as much, if not more in hockey than they do in football.
  9. ZeroClub

    ZeroClub just trying to get better

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    I hate brussel sprouts.
  10. CanadianCowboysFan

    CanadianCowboysFan Lightning Rod

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    Well soccer must do something right, half the world or more is watching what is the 3rd biggest sporting event in the world, behind only the Summer and Winter Olympics.
  11. jimmy40

    jimmy40 Well-Known Member

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    well that was disturbing.
  12. jimmy40

    jimmy40 Well-Known Member

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    I guess 47" isn't big enough because I can't see the damn thing either.
  13. burmafrd

    burmafrd Benched

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    So there are a lot of stupid people in the world. Big deal.
  14. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

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    At least in hockey you'll see a good fight...well one that isn't in the stands. :laugh2:
  15. BehindEnemyLinez

    BehindEnemyLinez Optimist Prime

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    Soccer sucks! I'm so glad my kids don't make me suffer thru their matches anymore as they both found more interesting sports to play!!
  16. juck

    juck Well-Known Member

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    52 inch,hd,glasses it doesnt matter. lol Hockey is basically soccer on ice and a smaller field.same rules almost too.Both games are kinda boring to me.
  17. juck

    juck Well-Known Member

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    u r correct there sir.
  18. Doomsday101

    Doomsday101 Well-Known Member

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    What is the deal with the time? Why can't they have a time clock that shows when the game is over instead the officials just blowing the whistle when the game is done but as a viewer or player you don't know exactly when that will be.
  19. tomson75

    tomson75 Brain Dead Shill

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    Well I don't know what to tell you....I admit that before the advent of HD programming, watching hockey was pretty difficult. Now, however, HD has made viewing hockey much easier. I don't see how anyone without vision problems could have a difficult time following the puck on HD. It's just fast...

    I would imagine that HD has had a very significant impact on the recent growth in hockey's popularity....along with the new rule changes and the emergence of some of the best players in league history...i.e Ovechkin, Crosby, and a few others.

    I don't care if you don't like the sport...that's your prerogative, but you clearly are basing your opinion on ZERO knowledge of either sport. Boring or not....

    ... FWIW, I can't watch soccer anymore either. The "diving" and drama-queenish BS that has taken over a once great sport has ruined it. It's basically a non-contact sport now.....and I have no interest.

    I'll stick with rugby.
  20. bbgun

    bbgun Benched

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