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Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by blindzebra, Sep 2, 2007.

  1. blindzebra

    blindzebra Well-Known Member

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    Anyone see the new Total Gym commercial?

    He looks bad, he has lost a ton of weight, his voice sounds weak, his head is swimming in his toupee.

    I'm thinking cancer.
  2. Yeagermeister

    Yeagermeister Active Member

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    Chuck Norris doesn't get cancer......cancer gets Chuck Norris
  3. Rampage

    Rampage Benched

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    chuck norris doesn't do push-ups he pushes the world down
  4. trickblue

    trickblue Old Testament... Zone Supporter

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    Chuck Norris doesn't teabag his enemies... he bowling-ball bags them...
  5. blindzebra

    blindzebra Well-Known Member

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    You wouldn't be joking if you'd have seen the commercial.

    He comes out looking bad saying he has 60 seconds to talk about the TG, looks at his watch and says that wasn't 60 seconds...they cut to clips from old commercials.

    The contrast is shocking...he goes from an old guy buff 190 lbs to a shriveled, sick old man of 140 right before your eyes.
  6. Rampage

    Rampage Benched

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    everynight before the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck norris
  7. ChldsPlay

    ChldsPlay Well-Known Member

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    Chuck put on weight a long time ago for that movie with Bruce Lee and has never been able to lose it. Maybe he finally succeeded.
  8. Bob Sacamano

    Bob Sacamano Benched

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    when Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he just holds up the phone and money falls out

    btw, Chuck is 67 years old, that could explain it
  9. CowboyFan74

    CowboyFan74 Cowboys Analyst

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    :lmao2:
  10. Rack Bauer

    Rack Bauer Federal Agent

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    He's 67 years old.


    I'm willing to be he looks better now then ANY of us here at cowboyszone will look when we're 67 (cbz, how did you look back when you were 67? :D).


    Hell, I probably won't even live that long, and at 47 I'm sure I'll look worse then he looks now.


    And fathertime doesn't catch up to Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris gives a roundhouse kick to fathertime's chin.
  11. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Moderator Staff Member

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    Even at 67, Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
  12. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Moderator Staff Member

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    It's rumored that Chuck Norris' tears cure Cancer. It's also rumored that Chuck Norris has never cried.
  13. ConcordCowboy

    ConcordCowboy Mr. Buckeye

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    I know what you mean...I was thinking the same thing.
  14. Rampage

    Rampage Benched

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    those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occured during the making of that episode
  15. joseephuss

    joseephuss Well-Known Member

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    Raquel Welch is 67 and she does not look sick. Of course she no longer looks like she did in One Million Years B.C., either.
  16. Spectre

    Spectre Well-Known Member

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    Im glad someone else noticed this.

    I swear it's not even him.

    It looks and sounds like they paid a look-a-like to stand in for him and do the commercial because the moustache and hair look fake and the voice/demeanor is completely different.
  17. zrinkill

    zrinkill Diamond surrounded by trash

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    When Chuck finally dies we can say

    Chuck Norris did not die ..... when Death came to get him, he killed Death and took his place.
  18. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Moderator Staff Member

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    Of course, not many in the history of the world could look like she did in One Million Years B.C.

    ;)
  19. Faerluna

    Faerluna I'm Complicated

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    Just like in On A Pale Horse! (great book :D )

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